Can't extend naps anymore

[Lucysmom]

Hello -

I don't know if there is anything I can do now, but my dd has been doing 45 minute naps for weeks now.  She is 16 weeks and this started at 12 weeks.  I used to be able to pat her butt through the 45 minute mark and if I stayed there for a long while she would continue sleeping and would even make it to two hours.  Now, she wakes up COMPLETELY at the 45 minute mark and I cannot get her back to sleep without taking her out of the crib and rocking her to get her drowsy again.  Sometimes she will go back to sleep for another 45 minutes and other times it is a lost cause.  When she wakes up at the 45 minute mark, she is NOT happy.  She wakes up crying a lot.  I have her awake time at around 1 hour 45 minutes.  She was at 1 hour 30 minutes for a long while and so am slowly moving her towards 2 hours.  It seems that all of the hours I have spent standing guard trying to extend her naps over the last month have not accomplished anything.   :shock:  I have tried leaving her alone to see if she can fall back to sleep but no luck.  I have also tried not patting but just applying pressure with my hands.  And I also tried just shushing.  Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance! 

[Meg's Mom]

She is 4 months now, I would continue on your plan to extend her A time to 2hrs and 4hr EASY. 

As i think you have probably read, this is common at this age...we have all been there (me too)!  I had the most success at beating the 45min monster by extending A times and every time they come back i extended again.

Seems like all i did when Megan was 4-5mos was watch the clock, run to her crib, shh/pat and cry.  I does get better - i promise!

[shem2005]

I know how you feel. My LO is nearly 4 months and we have been struggling with 45 min naps for the last 3 weeks. I have seen some improvement in the last week though.

I go to mothers group and it seems as though most mums are struggling with short naps for all or some of the naps during the day. I wonder if we didn't know better (having had not read the BW books) whether we would just go with the flow as well and it then not being as stressful because we don't expect those long naps. No one in my group even knows/thinks it is a problem, they just accept that their babies do short naps.

I also wonder whether for all the stuff we try pat/shush etc and if we finally have success whether it was indeed what we have done or our babies have just sorted it out themselves and would have with out our interference.

With the BW books it does frustrate me a bit that the 45 minute naps are not covered in any detail - it seems such a big problem and the books don't really deal with it.

Sorry, just a little vent. It is just so stressful and sometimes i wonder whether it would be better to just go with the flow.

[Lucysmom]

Thanks for your reply Michelle.  I will just keep extending her awake time.  I think I am going to have to just accept these short naps for a while though.  She is also still not falling asleep independently so I am sure this is not helping things.  But there are so many women on this site with babies that do fall asleep independently and they are still dealing with these short naps so I don't feel too terrible about my failure.  :oops:  :cry: I am still working on it.

Shem2005 - I TOTALLY agree with you in regards to wondering whether we would be better off if we were totally ignorant of the BW stuff regarding short naps.  My sister just accepted that her ds was a short napper and never obsessed over it.  Her ds did 30 minute naps so she thinks 45 minutes is fantastic.  How did you manage to have some success with your child?  I am so hoping that Lucy just sorts this out soon!!!!  Good luck to you!

Thanks ladies for your support and encouragement!

[shem2005]

I am not sure how we have had success. We just do the same things everyday, sometimes they work and sometimes not. Today for instance all naps have been 45 minutes but i have extended them for at least another 45 minutes using pat/shhh. Sometimes pat/shh will work and sometimes not, i just keep doing it until i can't take it anymore or she is asleep. Mind you i don't stay in there until she is fally asleep.

I think sometimes we just spend too long trying to get them to go to sleep. My daughter goes to sleep brilliantly on her own, and transitions fine of a night. I hope it is just a phase that will pass.

[Lucysmom]

It is sooooooo ironic but Lucy has managed to get past the 45 minute mark but she was due for a feed 40 minutes ago......I did not have the heart to wake her to feed her.  I know I should have woken her as her feeds will be all messed up today.  The other thing I did today with her was just reassure her in the crib when she was fussing.  I did not pat or anything, just kept my hand on her chest and verbally reassured her.  She fell asleep and slept 45 minutes, then woke up and fussed and then slept for another 10 minutes.  She woke up again and fussed and again slept for 10 minutes.  And then finally this last time she fell asleep and has been asleep for a while now.....I guess we are making progress.  Well, I guess I should go wake her and feed her so she gets in enough calories today.

[Aarismom]

Part of the BW way to do things is just to go with the flow--it's not a rigid schedule. If your lo is going to take 45 min naps, then that's the way it's gonna happen. We'd all like our lo's to take 1-2 hour naps, but lemme tell ya, it's not real easy to achieve some of the time, that's for sure!

And yeah, when it comes to the 4 month transition to being awake for 2 hours, it's NOT easy (pun intended). You have to go with the flow, or you lose it. It is a developmental stage. It will pass with or without a real BW schedule. It may look like EASAES for awhile. That's the beauty of the system.

What you want to continue to do though (which is at the heart of the BW way) no matter what, is avoid props as much as you can. After 6 months, prop habits become increasingly harder to change.

You guys are doing great, venting is real good during this time! I just got through the 45 min nap period...and there is an end to it. I didn't think there was, but there is.

BIG *HUGS*
Sonya =P

[Lucysmom]

Sonya - Thanks for your encouragement.  I am trying to go with the flow but it is soooooo frustrating a lot of the time.  I know that I should not use props but I swear there would be times when she would NEVER fall asleep.  If I miss her window it is all over.  And realistically I am not going to always be able to put her down in her window.  It is so discouraging.  We only had a 45 minute nap this afternoon (we happened to be in the car) and then that is it.  I tried for an hour and fifteen minutes to get her to take a nap and no dice.  So tonight should be fun.  Thankfully dh just got home and took her outside for a walk in the sling.  She does not fall asleep in it but she should be relaxed.  I am just rambling now so will sign off.  Thanks again.

[Taylor's Mommy]

shem2005-you sound just like my DH!!!  he has alwyas wondered if all the stuff we did to help Taylor with her 45 minute naps really helped, or if she figured it out on her own!  and so true about ignorance is bliss sometimes!  both of my sil's have short nappers and don't know about BW and they just say "so what-what's the big deal with short naps?"  sometimes I wish I didn't know I am "supposed" to worry about short naps, but in the end am sooo happy I did find the BW!

[Meg's Mom]

Sounds like you have gotten some good advice and support above - that is what this site is all about, thanks Ladies!

She is also still not falling asleep independently so I am sure this is not helping things... so I don't feel too terrible about my failure.   I am still working on it.


Good, just keep working on it  .  I have fallen on props many times (and then had to re-train)...so don't be soo hard on yourself.  Some days you just got to do, what you got to do to get that kid to sleep!

But starting now and through the next month or so is a great time to teach her how to fall asleep independently.

PS: I didn't like 3-6mos what so ever - it was damn hard! :evil:  But 7mos - to now has been awesome!  It does get better, so hang in there.

[Hubbafer]

Wow.. I thought I was the only one frustrated!

My son USED to sleep 1-2 hours in the morning, and the afternoon nap maybe 2.5 hours... now?  Forget it.. he's 4 months old tomorrow and I can MAYBE get 1 hour in the morning and he's up for a good 2.5 hours after that... then the afternoon nap is only an hour.

He sometimes wakes up cranky, but again has started teething (poor guy...), so a mix of emotions for him keeps him up.

I'm getting used to the new sleep times, but miss my afternoon naps... as soon as I would put him down, we both would be napping for a good 2 hours. Now? I may be in 45 minutes.... lucky to get that even

[TaysMom]

It's so reassuring to read about all these other Moms going thru the same thing, especially the ones that overcome the big obstacles (45 minute naps) - that's my problem right now as well.

I've been going into Taylor's room 30 minutes into her nap time and giving her a little nudge until she stirs. She has woken up entirely a couple times but taken a soother, fussed a bit and eventually gone into a deep sleep until I need to wake her for her next feeding.

I'm trying to be consistant in trying this for a couple of days to see if it does the trick - she rarely ever cries so I have never had to do the "shush pat" or PU/PD, however, she's only just over three months and there could be some big changes (seems to be alot around this age according to other Moms).

Anyway, great information out there, love to read what has been working for others. Thanks! 

Dawn

[Arwyn's mom]

Hello... sorry for parachuting in like this... I just noticed this thread.

I am wondering if I am killing myself trying to extend Arwyn's naps if she is just a "born" short napper. I only coax her back to sleep if she wakes up grumpy. She used to nap for a 1h 30m or more before she turned 4 months.

Short naps do not seem to affect her night sleep. It did once... she had 3x 45 minute naps and then proceeded to get up once every 1.5 hours during the night but since that night, sleeps 12 hours at night (7 to 7) and wakes once between 3 & 5 am for a feed. We hit the occasional blip but nothing that has lasted yet (fingers crossed).

So, fellow mommies, in your opinions, should I continue to try to extend naps? I have tried extending awake times, going in at the 35 minute mark and catching her before she wakes up, pat/shushing, pu/pd, and putting her back down changing a diaper, short walk around the house and it's been close to 2 months of short naps now. I don't get a single thing done all day... it is challenging to get a shower and something to eat during the day but then again, I only get up once at night. Is this a worthy trade-off? I am getting weary of trying to get her back to sleep during the day.

[TaysMom]

Hi,

Today is day #1 of the four hour EASY routine. So far so good and although it was hard keeping my LO up for the extra time required (she was so tired), she didn't protest too much.

AND, she is doing her full nap right now without my having to go in and do "wake-to-sleep" or PU/PD....could this be a miracle? It is only day one, I shouldn't get my hopes up too much, but her schedule may have been the whole problem.

Dawn

Me again.....she did yet ANOTHER nap today without any help. It's still day one, but we seem to be on the right track.
Hello again....we did an entire day's worth of full naps yesterday without any early wake ups, and this morning (day 2) she also had a good long nap. YAY! Very excited.
DAY #2 - must eat my shorts on the above optimism - Tay has resorted back to her 45 minute naps and/or needing help back to sleep. She was WIDE awake for her DF (actually awoke and cried for it) and also woke up at 3 a.m. this morning (Day 3) something she hasn't done since she was a month old. Hopefully once we get into Days 5-8 there will be more progress.  Baby steps, two forward and one back???