10 monthold won't nap without hysterics - HELP!

[traumafaerie]

Everything during our daily routine goes smoothly, including falling asleep at night (well, she won't eat solids, but that's a whole other problem).

The problem is her afternoon nap. This has been going on for over a month! I make sure everything is calm and relaxed for an HOUR before her afternoon nap. We go into her room with the lights off and I read or sing to her or whatever to fill the hour. She will rub her eyes and even start to look drowsy, but as soon as I get her into the crib, it's an instant screaming meltdown (her, not me - that happens after she's alseep  :? )
I will do PD for almost the full 40 minutes, take her out of the room for 10 (into another quiet dark room) , then back again. This goes on for almost 3 1/2 hours!!!  If she does sleep, it's only for 30 minutes.

She's clearly tired when we begin, but as soon as she hits the mattress, she's instantly inconsolable!

At night, she falls asleep on her own in there by the book! Every day, during her morning naps, she's in the stroller, but even on the odd day we stay at home, she goes down for a morning nap without a fuss in her crib.

Maybe I have her on an ill-suited routine? Are there sample routines on this site?
PLEASE HELP!!!!

[Aarismom]

You may be amidst the transition from 2 naps to one; this can be a pretty chaotic time napwise. After reading many posts from other moms with 10-12 month olds, the transition seems to start around 9-10 months, give or take a month.

How long is her morning nap?
How much sleep does she get at night?
What time is bed time?
What time does she take her morning nap?
What time are you trying to put her down for her afternoon nap (to start)?

The answer to these questions should help us help you figure out why she's not taking her afternoon nap, and how to get her started again.

Let us know!

*HUGS*
Sonya =P

[traumafaerie]

I'm not sure if she's transitioning to one nap - although today was the first day she has ever skipped her morning nap! She's turning 10 months tomorrow - isn't that early to drop to one nap?

Every day like clockwork, she's asleep at 10:30am for about 75 minutes, then we begin afternoon naptime wind down at 2:30, then try naptime at 3:30 and she doesn't often fall asleep until 5 and sometimes not at all - even though she is clearly exhausted and miserable.

Bedtime couldn't be easier (at least I have that going for us ): Dinner, bath, boobie, massage, story, and as soon as I take her intoher room, she puts her head on my shoulder for a lullabye, in her crib awake and falls asleep on her own - this is at 8:30pm

Her sleep at night lately has been terrible, waking up around 3am and 4 ( I think she's picking up on my stress and her naptime chaos isn't helping things)), but DH goes in and does PD for about 2 minutes and she's back to sleep until her 6am feed, then back to sleep until 7:30am

Maybe I'm doing the PD wrong - what am I supposed to do when she's lying down in the crib screaming? It isn't just mantra crying or fussing, it's hysterics!

Please help!

[Liliben]

Sorry to gatecrash you're posting but DS (11 months) is going through same thing and has been fighting PM nap for over a month now. Until then our routine was as clockwork
6.30 wake
7 bf
8 brec
9 nap 1.5 hrs
11 bf
12.30lunch
2.30 nap 1.5 hrs
4.00 bf
5.30 dinner
7.00 bf
7.45 asleep

He never slept more than 10.5 hrs at night but now he's increased that to 11 hours (on nights that he does sleep -  like you he has started night waking too). He still seems tired for AM nap and will sleep from 9.30 for 1.5 hrs. But PM is nightmare no matter when I try to put him down even after winding down for ages. I've tried waking him early from AM nap in order to get PM nap in. Luckily he doesn't cry he just stands up for over an hour. I do PD but he doesn't get shattered until its bf time or later and then this affects nighttime sleep. But if I let him sleep he will snooze for an hour. Both of us are getting frustrated with the afternoons because they seem such a waste of time.
Today wetried 1 nap for the first time. I put him down at 10am rather than 9.15. He was yawning much earlier so was shattered but for first time on am nap he started standing up. Did 40mins of PD till DS asleep but he only slept 40 mins. Because he wanted bf? I managed to get him back to sleep for 20 mins and tried to give him lunch but he wanted bf. He was angry all day and fell asleep in car at 5.45 for 30 mins. It's now 7.45 and he's not going to sleep! Help? How di I transition to 1 nap?

[Aarismom]

Yep, could be starting the transition...but I'm not sure she's quite ready for being down to one nap yet. It's sort of a tricky thing, but things tend to start to go hairy around 10 months.

A couple of suggestions you could try:

1. Try moving her bedtime back to 7:30 if you can. That'll give her a full 12 hours at night, and leave some room for any wakings so she's getting more sleep than she normally would. 

2. Try and drop the 6 am feeding if her day really begins at 7:30. If she's tired enough to go back to sleep after her feeding at 6, then she's tired enough to go back to sleep period (hopefully). At 10 months she shouldn't need a feeding until her daily routine really starts in the am.

3. Keep that morning nap limited to 1 hour, and start your wind down maybe a little earlier for the afternoon nap, maybe aim for a 2:30-45 nap? She may be fighting it because she's too tired; or she may be fighting it because she's not tired enough. I think if she's not tired enough though, you would think she'd start her afternoon nap around 2:30 or 3.

4. If none of this works, you *could* try moving her to one nap; some infants are ready for it earlier than others, but I'm still inclined to think she needs that second nap. Just keep moving the morning nap later and later in the day over the course of a few weeks. If you have Tracy's new book, she has a detailed process in there.

I hope one of these helps a little! Keep us posted!

*HUGS*
Sonya =P

[traumafaerie]

Thanks Aarismom!

We do try to PD at 6am, but she's clearly hungry at that time of day and wants the boob. DH has spent 40+ minutes trying to do PD with her in the early morning, but no luck. Heck, I often wake up ravenous long before breakfast, and I eat TONS during the day. DD is like me, lean and active. She flips around so muh when she's sleeping, I imagine she burns a fair ammount of calories in her sleep! I don't mind feeding her then, she's really quite small for 10 months (16 pounds) and I want to get food into her whenever possible. She eats for a good 10 minutes, which is twice as long as she eats during her daytime feeds.

...although I would LOVE to sleep in a bit more  :lol: We will give a go at dropping them though.


She did have one nap today after forgoing her morning nap for the first time ever and she slept for a glorious 2 hours and 15 minutes! I haven't seen her in that good of a mood in a very VERY long time - she was like a whole new kid! I feel like a new woman too, I don't remember the last time I have had a break that long. 

I have read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Of Your Problems, but I must have missed where she gets into this, can you remember where in the book she mentions this?

Thanks so much for your help!

Dianna
We'll see how tonight goes.

[Aarismom]

Yeah, page 284 This explains how to go down to one nap Glad you got more time to yourself!!!

Ok, one more suggestion

1. Sounds like your lo's actual wake up time for the day is 6 am (ugh, right?). I would move bedtime back to between 6:30 and 7 for the 11-12 hours, and then try to keep her up however long she normally stays up after getting up in the AM (3 hours, right?). That should bring you to your morning nap at around 9. Let her sleep for no more than 1 hour. Now, the afternoon nap you should keep her up maybe a little longer, look for her sleepy window. Try this for a few days to see if it works. Hopefully you'll get both naps back until you absolutely need to get rid of the morning nap.

I really think the problem lies with that early morn feeding, then putting her back to bed straight away. You're treating it like a night feed; therefore when the day actually starts at 7:30 it throws off her nap schedule. That's why I thought maybe she should start her day at 6 if you can't phase out that feeding and start her day an hour later or so. If you can phase it out or at least move it forward, then you get more sleep, and you officially start your day then

BUT...if it works, and she's happy to play until her afternoon nap without getting terribly upset, and you can deal with the morning feed, then you may have discovered a new routine. Just use the old addage, if it's not broke, don't fix it.

*HUGS*
Sonya =P

[Meg's Mom]

I just wanted to add there are a bunch of us going thru the same thing right now, including me!  You can come join our 2 to 1 club:

http://babywhisperer.com/forum/progressively-longer-awake-time-for-nearly-11-mo-old-vt41154.html

You also asked if there are sample routines: there are tons to look at in the EASY forum.

Our was/is currently:

7am wake
10am nap 1 (1 - 2 hr varies)

3pm nap 2 (1 hr)
7.30 bed

I found that the best way to help stop the transition (for a while) is to keep am nap to 1hr and pm nap 3 to 4 hrs after waking from am nap.