Help! Nursing strike in action!

[babymurr]

My dd is 11 weeks old and has decided the last 2 days to refuse the breast.  She cries and arches her back if I even get close to her with my breast.  A few times I have been able to get her to suck but as soon as she realizes what she is doing she quits and starts into the crying and arching her back again.  I have been able to get her nurse in her room right after sleeping (night or naps) with the lights off, but not for very long and as soon as she becomes fully awake, then we are done.  Because of  breast surgery that I had a few years ago I am not able to produce alot (2 to 3 ozs) but up until now it has seemed to been enough that she would empty the breast and then I would top her up with formula and she was happy with that. I haven't had my period yet and I am careful about what food I eat and I haven't changed deoderant or used any strong perfumes etc near my breasts to confuse the smell.  She is certainly not starving, weighing in at a strong 14 lbs!!



I am wondering a few things:

a) is she refusing because she has gone through a growth spurt (just this week) and needs more and is frustrated with the lack of milk?

b) is she mad because it's not flowing fast enough (compared to the bottle she has used the lat 3 months...we haven't changed the nipple size to increase the flow)

c) why is she refusing altogether, not even letting me put the breast in her mouth?



What should I be doing???  I am trying to increase my supply as much as I can with fenugreek, liquids and pumping, but if she isn't even going to let me put the breast in her mouth.......I am not ready to be done with BF yet and I can't see that a 3 month old would wean herself.

Any info or suggestions would be great!

[CaedensMama]

I was talking last week with a friend at LaLeche League going thru the same thing. A couple things - typically they don't self wean this early - so I would treat it as a "nursing strike" and not wean her. Continue to offer the breast often and alternate sides (I have heard of one sided strikes!)  - Also continue like you are offering when she is sleepy, they will often nurse and get back on track this way. Keep pumping so your supply stays up! Some other ideas I have heard are: take a bath together, sometimes just visually seeing them helps and it helps relax them too - as well as you!

I would recommend talking to a LC or someone at LLL locally if you can. I know LLL has ladies all over that can help. I don't know where you are - in the US or what, but I would recommend them or maybe check their website.

Hopefully some others here will have some ideas as well.....hang in there!

[Sabine]

I live in Waterloo too and can totally relate.  My lo did the same thimg at around 9-10 weeks.  I tried everything you did...   I thought he might have reflux but the meds didn't really help.

What worked for me is (and I know you shouldn't do this ongoing) but at his 2-3am feed I would take him into bed and nurse him there.  I did this for several evening feeds and for some reason it helped b/c nursing is now a pleasure at 13 weeks.

I wanted to give up too but hang in there!!

[babymurr]

Ok, so this morning she absolutely refused to nurse even in her room with the lights off, right after waking up.  I keep offering but she gets quite mad when I do that.

I have been pumping and offering it to her in a bottle because I don't know what else to do.  Is this the right thing to do?  Shouldn't I be tryng to get her off the bottle?

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Well, if you're able to pump enough to give her, then it's probably not a supply issue.  Sounds more like a nursing strike.  I'd keep offering as often as seems reasonable - both sides. If you can, try stripping down a bit for both of you  - sometimes skin to skin helps - some moms take a bath with their lo.

I can't think of anything other than when the others suggested...please keep us posted though!

[babymurr]

Ok...I got her to suck for about 10, maybe 15 seconds while she was getting ready for bed.  I was giving her bedtime bottle and had stripped myself down so that her head was resting right on my breast, right near the nipple, and when she seemed a bit drowsy I would remove the bottle from her mouth and put my nipple in its place.  Most of the time I did this (about 6 or 7 times) she would realize what I did and arch her back again to get away from me.  But once she did latch on and suck a bit but then seemed to come to and pulled off.

I have been reading that I should not be giving her a bottle at all during this but I don't produce much to start with...only 2~3 ozs and she is used to taking another 4~5 ozs of formula after nursing.  I have to give her a bottle to get the remaining 4~5 ozs in.  I can't see how I can spoon feed her or cup feed her all that liquid.  I know that she wants to suck.  I could swear that I have a hickie on my neck from her sucking there today. She has also sucked on my shoulder and my finger...a good strong suck!  When I know she is wanting to even just comfort~suck I offer the breast and she refuses.

I am about at my wits end.  I am so frustrated and find myself bursting into tears whenever I think of this and that seems to be almost all the time.  My poor DH doesn't know what to do and is trying so hard to be comforting and supportive  Am I crazy to keep trying here or should I just give up?  This is day 3 and I am feeling hopeless!  I feel like there is something that I have done to put her off and I would give anything right now to fix it.
 
angie

[GraceKellysmom]

No hon, there is nothing you have done wrong to make this happen. Someone posted that babies often have nursing strikes at 3 months and 8 months. This is just normal, and she will get through it.

Keep offering, keep offering. Both of our nursing strikes so far have been teething related. That is something to consider, she is young, but she may be in pain? Sucking from the nipple is much harder than sucking at a bottle.

Other things that have worked for us to get back from a nursing strike: walking around while nursing, holding him in the sling carrier all day to promote his attachment to me, nursing right before naps/bedtime when he is sleepy, snuggling him bare chested even if he didn't want to nurse, holding out on other forms of food until he would nurse. (This last one can be tough - I'm just talking an hour or two, that is all I would go on such a young baby)

Do you have access to a lactation consultant? They could check her mouth, and talk to you in person about nursing strikes. You could also discuss your decision to supplement and things you can do to increase your supply.

{{HUGS}} and it really does end, they go back to nursing!

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Oh Angie - I really feel for you!  It's good that she was willing to take the breast even for a short time.  Stacy had some great suggestions too - they're often more willing to take it when sleepy.

You mentioned low supply due to breast surgery. Have you seen a lc about this?  I know you're on fenugreek - have you had some success with it and have you tried it in combination with blessed thistle?  If your supply is already a bit low, I can imagine that growth spurts would be much harder on both of you - just a longer lag to pick up the slack.  You could also see about maybe starting domperidone to increase supply - it works better than the herbs for some people.

Thinking about you!  Keep us posted on how you're doing!

[babymurr]

Well here is my update...

I decided tht this morning I would treat it as if it was any other morning before this strike began.  I got her downstairs to where we usually nurse and had her on the pillow and I talked away to her and tried not to think about what I knew was going to happen but just to continue on as if it wasn't.  She let me put my breast in her mouth but then she pulled away. However, there was no crying or back arching this time, just her pulling away, and she seemed to be OK with laying in "the position".  Any time in the past 4 days that I have "assumed the position" with her she has started screaming.  There was no nursing/sucking going on except for her sucking on my shoulder later.  I pumped...by the way I borrowed a dual Medela "pump in style" from some friends yesterday...that thing is AMAZING!...got 3 ozs and mixed it with her formula and fed her.  I took my single pump tp church with me "just in case" she didn't want to nurse and of course she didn't. BUT she did let me put my breast in her mouth again but did not suck once she realized what was in her mouth.  She did the same thing again about 5 mins ago when we got home.

Am I making progress here?  Will she work her way back to being OK with nursing???  I am calling a LC tomorrow for an appt to see what we can do.  I just can't figure why she will suck on my chin, finger, shoulder, arm but not where it counts the most!

You guys have been so helpful and I am tryng all of your suggestions.  We are going to have a wrm bath tonight, just Grace and I to see if that makes a difference.  I am going to pick up some blessed thistle tomorrow as well.  I have noticed an increase with the fenugreek...good thing I like maple flavouring!  I still have a low supply but considering that my surgeon told me that I wouldn't be able to BF at all I am happy with my 2~3 ozs I get...now if I could only get Grace to get it out of me instead of the pump!

Thanks for your continued help ladies!

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Well to ME it sounds like progress!  Glad to hear you're seeing an lc - there are some really good ones in Toronto - not too far from you, I think.  Actually Jack Newman has his clinic in Toronto too...if you're still having trouble, you could always email him (he posts his email on his website and actually answers really promptly!) or even try to get in to see him. And we're here for you anytime!!

[GraceKellysmom]

Yes, I think she is making great progress.

One thing I wanted to comment is could you try to nurse her before you go downstairs? Take her immediately from the crib and sit in her room quickly and see if she will latch on. My ds would wake up too much in the quick trip downstairs, he would nurse if we were quick about it upstairs, but refused all else.

It does sound like some mouth pain may be going on. I want to say beginning teething, but could thrush be a possibility? Your lc can check for both.

[babymurr]

Ok...so I think we might be moving ahead a bit here!  I GOT 4 MINS OUT OF HER TONIGHT!!!  Mind you I had to trick her into it.  I usually give her a nightime bottle right before bed to top her up and so when she was close to being done that she was getting a bit drowsy so I pulled out the bottle and popped me in instead and she seemed to latch on.  She did swallow a bit as I could hear her swallow but most of it was comfort nursing....for 4 mins!!  I even managed to switch her to the other side.  She did fuss a bit at it but I kept shushing her and patting her bum to keep her mind off of it and she did suck for about 30 secs on that side and then fell asleep with my breast in her mouth.

I noticed today that she is really sucking on her hands, almost gnawing on them.  She has been drooling alot, even bubbles, and there is a white spot, like a tooth bud at the back where a molar should be.  But what I don't get is that she is just 12 weeks tomorrow...isn't that kind of early for teething and an actual bud to be surfacing, let alone a molar?  My ds didn't start teething until he was about 5 or 6 months old.  Would nursing cause that much more pain then sucking on a bottle?


I am going to check out Jack Newman's website and try nursing Grace right when she wakes.  I have tried this before in the last few days but she still cried and arched her back quite a bit...I think I did that Saturday morning and afternoon during her naps.  But since she seemed to be sort of OK with it tonight I am going to try again tomorrow.  I am hoping that the LC can see me tomorrow.
Thanks so much for your advice and help!

[GraceKellysmom]

Is the white spot in her gums or on the surface? Yes, nursing is a much stronger suck and a different mouth position, so it could hurt more. But then some babies will *only* nurse when teething, refusing everything else. Just depends on the baby. I have heard of something called cross cutting teething - or something like that - where the teeth come in a different order than what is "normal"

Woohoo! She's coming back around for you. Keep on keeping on!

[babymurr]

The white spot is like a section of her whole gum at the back on her right side.  It is much whiter than any other in her mouth.

I am just hoping that we don't take a step backwards tomorrow.

[GraceKellysmom]

Any other white spots - on her cheeks or roof of her mouth? I know it is hard to see in there.