Oh, it is NOT YOU! Your description sounds identical to my DS. I had always had images when I was pregnant of holding my darling baby, singing songs to him, etc. Things could not have been more opposite.
Nathan hates to be cuddled. When I pick him up for a hug, he instantly pushes away, trying to get down. If me or DH get close to him to give him a kiss, he flails his arms to swat us in the face.
In fact, the only time he will let us hold him is if he is sick. If he ever calmly sits in my arms, I know something is wrong. In fact, a couple weeks ago, he was sick with a high fever. I was holding him, and thinking, so THIS is what it feels like... :?
When I feel bad about him rejecting my cuddles, I just have to remind myself that this is his personality. Even though he is not a cuddler, I SO admire his independence, and his excitement in exploring his world.
When I walk into his room after his nap and get a huge smile, I KNOW he loves me. And when he is exploring a new place, and he looks at me to make sure things are okay, I KNOW he loves me.
Even though your DS may not show it in hugs, you are still his mommy!
