Where do I start? Almost 1...we both need more sleep!

[Jo S]

Hi all
This is my first post.
I have a plan in my head which is basically PU/PD but feel with my son's age of almost 1 that, although I agree with Tracey's 'start as you mean to go on', a more gradual approach may be better for him.
Happy, active baby who loves his food and breast was sleeping from 10pm - 8am from 3 mths to 5mths- don't know how he did it I just thought he was brilliant especially as we were moving house. At 5mths he cut his first tooth and we we moved again (settlement times did not marry up, it wasnot our choice!) Very unsettled, into ourbed one night we all got some sleep. I still remember his face in the morning when he rolled over and saw me next to him. Bliss. Needless to say he has been there ever since.
I have a number of challenges in my quest for a good nights sleep- anything longer than 2 hours.
*DS wakes between 3 and 5 times a night - in bed from 7/8pm till 6am
*he uses my hair to fall asleep in the early half of the night and as the night progresses to settle more quickly, the breast.
* He has 2 naps a day and the A is getting longer and more adventurous - lots of crawling
*Each nap and at night is on the breast for a short while then grabs a handful of hair and sucks his thumb
*1st nap is about 9am (was 40min, now in school hols 1 1/2 hrs )
*2nd nap was at about ! 1:30 now about 3pm (length was 40 now same as 1st - which is fantastic as I have been working on bringing those times up with a stronger routine
*School drop off and pick up will test thisas each way is about 20min and he is often woken after 20 min or 40min after we come home.
I know it will be easier when he goes down to 1 nap but I hope that won't be for at least another 6 months.
I hope there's no word limit on this forum..Sorry!
Also, as he is avidly crawling I have put his cot mattress on the floor of his room with a spare next to it for me and we are sleeping there as I am worried he will crawl right over the top and hopefully he will get used to his room as at the moment it makes a great nappy room.
My reservation with PU/PD is that he will be going cold turkey on the breast, the bed, the hair and me and it seems harsh to do that all at once. I've heard Tracey's diet analogy but hey we all know diets don't work.
Could I not sleep in his room for a while then move him off the floor to the cot me still on mattress?
I just don't know where to start and need some clear thinking voices

Thankyou all
Jo

[ktmum]

I do remember a BW Tv program with a little bot called James i think a bit younger but very attached to the breast Mum in general and co sleeping. Tracy got Daddy involved with this one and compleatly turned the routine on its head. Daddy cuddled him til he was calm and boy for the first night or two he screamed. I remember seeing Tracy and Mummy sat on the stairs, Tracy cuddling Mummy!! Then whrn he was calm Daddy put him in the cot and pat shh / Pupd. As I remember he then slept on a mattress besides the cot. This is just an example i remember ( I dont have any personal experience with this one) but its sounds quite similar. Boy it was hard but after a few days of hell they seemed to hit the nail on the head and although it ended up pretty much Daddys job to put him down life was a lot easier.
I think Dad moved out of the room after a week or so??
Karen

[Johno & Aurelias Mum]

I see what you mean about a gradual reduction being better but I can also see the other side where for about 6 weeks as you take everything away gradually that he feels his whole world is slipping away from him.  I think it would be one upset after another for him and personally, I think it would be meaner to keep taking things from him.

Also from your point of view this is going to be hell.  It is surely far better to have max 2 weeks of hell than 2 months?

You are going to be with him for the PU/PD so its not like you are leaving him alone to deal with the changes.

I think if I were you I would get book three, read up how you do it for a 1 year old.  Get yourself a plan and stick with it.  I reckon you could have it sorted in a week.

Don't forget you are also going to have walking and pulling up pretty soon so if you are in the middle of a gradual process that could through it right off.

What do you think?  We are all here to support you and I can help with the plan if you like.

[N Lou]

I agree with Jenny,  going 'cold turkey' will be kinder in the long run.

Honestly, it'll be fine, its NOT going to hurt him.  you're just going to show him a better way of going to sleep.  whether you take away 5 props or 500 props, to him it will just be a different way. Make sense?

Have you read the sleep interview at the top of the forum?
Arm yourself with all the facts so you know exactly how you're going to deal with any little hiccups along the way and then go for it!!

[Jo S]

Thankyou all for your replys. I think the real problem is I have to write the plan down and truly commit to it. Of course none of this would be a problem if we were all getting good sleep atnight but we'renot.
I do have Tracey's book and will re read it again today and the sleep interview - that was great.
I was going to start this yesterday as my DD -almost 7 - is on a 3 day holiday with her grandparents and cousins. But realise now that the whole process will be longer than that anyway.
Willcome back with any more questions that I am bound to have.

Jo

[N Lou]

Hi Jo,

I think thats the best thing to write down your plan, that way you're less likely to cave in half way through.

Another tip, i used to write post-it notes to myself and put them on the back of the door in ds's room.  If i felt disheartened, i would read them to remind me why i was doing it.

Do come back with any more questions and let us know how you get on too!!
Wishing you lots of luck, have faith in yourself!

[Jo S]

Nina Lou
Thankyou for your words of encouragement, the post its are a great idea!
Just to clarify
James has been sleeping for 1.5 hrs morning and mostly that in arvo
When doing PU/PD should I continue for sleep cycle -45 mins - or his regular naptime of 1.5? Or stop at 45 considering he may be exhausted and very tired
Tracey also said to have say a 10 minute break after this then try again until feeding again
I might give you his routine as it stands now to see what you think is the best way to run it

   5:30 - 6:30am wake BF
E 7am Breakfast
A During school have 40 min round trip he will falls asleep, puts EASY    out of whack Am hoping this will change when he has a full nights sleep
S 9am - 9:30
 
A 10:30 - 11am
E 11:30 Lunch
A 12:00
S 1pm - 1:30 The last few days has been very hard to get to sleep, happy giggling, running amok, put down about 2:30 - 3pm is very ready sleeps solid 1.5

A 2:30 - 3pm
E 3:30 wants a big cuddle and a short BF usually only one side
E 4:30 dinner
A 5pm plays with Cait, bath around 6pm
S 7pm This is also being resisted till about 8pm

Is a change on the horizon?
His activity level has gone through the roof since he mastered his 'commando' crawl and explores the whole
house

His meals are like clockwork I could set my watch by him

Thankyou AGAIN
Jo