4 mo old wont sleep through the night and wont take a paci

[charity421]

my 4mo old has always waken up at 2:30 and wanted to feed for about 10 minutes and then falls asleep, only to continuously wake up about every hour after until 6:00.  i've read in the book that i should start giving him his pacifier and wait it out for a few nights until he starts to sleep through the night, however he has never taken a pacifier.  i have tried in the last few days to see if he will take one, but all he does is naw on it for a sec and spit it out.  i've also tried giving him several different kinds of pacifiers but his reaction is the same with all of them.  i would like some help and advice because i'm dreading that if this keeps up i'll still be doing this when he's close to a year old.  help. please!!!

[Jaime]

if you are sure he is just snacking and not actually hungry, i'd say the waking sounds habitual - especially if it's at the same time every night, give or take about 10 minutes.

have you tried wake-to-sleep?  what you do is go in about an hour before the habitual waking and stroke his head until he stirs.  what this does is disturb his sleep cycle, and he hopefully will not be in a light phase of sleep at the habitual waking time and will sleep through.

HTH 

[lovingabby]

Hi,
My dd woudl not take any pacifier until I tried the Soothie. It is shaped more like  a nipple. They have them at Target and Walmart and they are green.
Suzanne

[charity421]

i have tried two different kinds of soothies, one for newborns, and the other one for 6 mo+. it is very frusterating knowing other babies use them but mine wont.  especially since i know that by now he should be sleeping through the night.  and what makes matters worse is that i end up not getting any sleep at night, and i don't get the chance to take naps during the days either. i find my self getting overwhelmed and easily frusterated all the time now, and i need to do something now to fix it.
-brandy

[Mom to M&M]

Hi Charity - I am having a similar issue with my sweet Marisa. She is not even 8 weeks so I am not concerned (although I do find it interesting that she always wakes between 2:15-2:45, no matter how late we do the dream feed or how much food she has taken that day. She generally takes less formula at this middle of night feed (4-5 ounces as opposed to 5-6) so I do think she probably would/could sleep another hour. We are actually waiting for our Soothies to arrive so hopefully she takes to them as she doesn't love other pacifiers.

I'm totally fine with this middle of night waking since she is so young but also wonder if I should be doing things differently. She has her last bottle around 7pm and she falls asleep between 7:30-8. We do the dream feed between 10:30-11 and she is totally out of it then, she eats (not a ton but a decent amoung) but is sound asleep. I wonder if it would help at all to slightly rouse her during dream feed? I see it as more of a developmental issue with her - she is technically sound asleep from say 8pm to 2:30 (with the dream feed in between) so maybe she just can't sleep any longer without a short waking?

Before we started on EASY her bedtime was after a 9:30/10pm bottle and it was miserable - she hated staying up that late. However, she did sleep after that until 3:30 or 4pm, so I do know that she can go up to 6 hours without a bottle. I certainly don't want to go back to that - she and I both love her earlier bedtime, but does anyone have any ideas? She will be 8 weeks this Thursday and currently weighs almost 12 pounds and drinks between 31-33 ounces total in 24 hours.

Anyway, maybe the wake to sleep would work for you?

[charity421]

it's been a few days now and i've tried disturbing my baby's sleep at night and i've succeeded in getting him to wake up even earlier and not getting him to go back to sleep until his usual time still.  and he seems to have shuned his naps all together, so all i have now is a very tired and cranky baby who wont sleep at all, and i am at my wits end.  i don't have the patience or stamina to deal with him, and all i seem to being doing is getting instantly furious with him every time he make a sound.  it is so bad that when he screams i just scream back at him.  i am nowhere near family, i have no friends out where i live, and his daddy seems to think that being a stay at home mom is the easiest job on the planet.  i have no one to help me so i'm doing it on my own.
every time i try and set a good schedule for the baby, his daddy swoops in thinking he's trying to help me and starts working against me and what i'm doing.  i've told him several times that if he's going to help with getting the baby to sleep it needs to be quiet, and have the lights turned off and to just slowly rock him to sleep.  what he does is sit in a glider with the tv on and turned up, rocking for about 5 minutes then stands up and starts bouncing really fast, then turns the baby around to where he can see the tv.  i've told him that all of that keeps the baby stimulated, and awake so he doesn't want to go to bed.  and it's not just the sleeping he's being counter productive on.  i have no idea how to handle him, or change the habits daddy has set.
i am so overwhelmed that even as i type this in i'm practicallly in tears.  please someone tell me that i'm not the only mother who has to deal with this.   
brandy

[Jaime]

(((((HUGS)))))

you are definitely not the only mother who has had to deal with this.

since his naps have started being disturbed, he is becoming overtired and cranky, as you noted.  i would go back to concentrating heavily on the naps so you can start to get good night sleep again. 

keep in mind too that 4 months is a very normal time for habitual night waking - it's a big developmental stage, so they want to practice their skills at night too.   :?

check these out:
http://babywhisperer.com/forum/pat-shush-for-babies-under-3-months-old-vt26672.html

http://babywhisperer.com/forum/pu-pd-for-3-month-old-info-from-consult-with-tracy-vt9287.html

http://babywhisperer.com/forum/a-special-sleep-interview-with-tracy-hogg-vt451.html

these posts will all give you some idea of tools you can you to help him get back on track.  once you decide what method will work best for your baby, go to it & stay consistent.  it takes time.  regression is normal.  but if you stick with it, he will get it.

regarding your dh... maybe phrase it in the way of "x will help baby sleep better, which will help me feel better too. "  men!  :roll:

HTH