HELP! DS will not sleep more than 1.5 hours

[aes_k]

My DS is 9 mo. old and at night he is up every 1.5 hours.  I don't nurse and use Pu/Pd to get him back to sleep.
He has been doing this consisently for months.
How can I change this behavior?  I tried wake to sleep but still meant I was up every 1.5 hour.
I need help and don't know what else to do.

[Maddy's Mum]

Hi there,

Can you post back with some more details - what is DS EASY routine each day with naps/feeds? Is he bottle or breast fed? Is he on solids - feeding well? Have there been any changes recently - like started daycare? house move? Up until you started with PU/PD how were you getting DS to sleep and up to what age?

Thanks
Dee
x

[aes_k]

Okay
He is an EASY baby.  I started Pu/Pd with my son around 5 mo.  Before that he was either nursed or walked to sleep.
He is breast/bottle feed as I am trying to wean him.  He eats solids reasonably during day but has always been a picky eater.  Does not like cereal or things with too much texture.  He has just started going thru the stage of just wanting to feed himself.
He has always been very social and has not had any signficant changes.
He is an angel baby except for the sleep issue.

To be clear, he has never slept more than 4 hours straight without waking and screaming out of me.  And most commonly only sleeps in 1.5 hour stretches.

I know it sounds like he has not learned to self-sooth but I don't have any more ideas on how to teach him this skill.

Thanks for any help.

[branwen]

Hi Tina & Patrick,

Is 4 hrs the longest stretch he's ever done? If this is the case then yes, self-soothing seems to be a problem.  How long are you going with PU/PD?

If solids are not fully established he could be hungry. 9 to 12 months is when they start usually replacing some of the calories in bm or formula.  How big are your bottles during the day?

What time did you start weaning- did he initiate?  Does he want you specifically or can your dh resettle?

I know I'm asking a lot of questions I just want to make sure I give you the best suggestions 

[aes_k]

Is 4 hrs the longest stretch he's ever done? If this is the case then yes, self-soothing seems to be a problem. How long are you going with PU/PD?
Yes - 4 hours is the longest he has ever done.  I do Pu/PD until he doesn't cry when he is put down in his crib.  It typically means 20 minutes but has been getting better with him willing to fall asleep if I am just there.  I can sometimes get him resettled with just holding him hand and telling him "it just time to go to sleep".

If solids are not fully established he could be hungry. 9 to 12 months is when they start usually replacing some of the calories in bm or formula. How big are your bottles during the day?
He gets three bottles during the day that are 8oz. each.  These are mostly given at snack time 11 pm and 4 pm and part of bedtime routine.  He seems like he is getting enough food and he is gaining well - 22 lbs.

What time did you start weaning- did he initiate? Does he want you specifically or can your dh resettle?
I started to wean him about 3 weeks ago.  He has never asked to bf and I always had to initiate it.  I'm going to be going back to work in a month and that is why I started.  My DH can not settle him at all.  Patrick gets frantic if I'm not there.  I'm not sure how long it would take if I was not there.

Let me know if you have any suggestions.

[branwen]

I needed to do some thinking on your situation...sorry about the delay.

I will also post your thread in the moderator forum so maybe there are other moderators who can help us out- this is a tough one. :wink:

My first thought was he was upset from the weaning process and this was augmenting his separation anxiety.  Even though he never initiates the bf there is still a close relationship and bond there.  Are you pumping for him?  If not I was worried that maybe he is having a reaction to formula or isn't drinking as much...but 8oz sounds good!  Can you add back in the bedtime bf?  Or cuddle time for the two of you?  This might especially be important as you are going back to work.  I would dedicate some special mommy and baby only time, where nothing else is going on except the two of you.

The thing that throws me off is the self settling and the only ever doing 4 hr stretches.  Is he a spirited little fellow?  I do know a mom here that is still dealing with multiple night wakings with her dd- she is 8 months.  I will PM her and ask if she might be able to respond to you.

20 min is a typical time to resettle- so that is good- I was worried you were going hrs with him.  Do you do PU/PD at the crib or do you take him away from it?  If you remove completely I would try staying by the crib and getting a stool/chair so you can sit if you get tired.

I also think your dh needs to take a more active role.  This means you cannot rescue him from the process :wink: .  They need to figure out things together- build their own strategies...for your dh this might be something other than PU/PD but at least when daddy comes your ds will know "this is what we do with daddy".  I had to go through this with my dh and dd.  It can sometimes take him up to 2 hrs which is hard for me to bear sometimes but they both got so used to me rescuing and there will be times throughout her life when mama isn't available.  I also needed to be able to rely on my dh and trust him to handle the situation.

So I guess my recommendations are-

1) stay by the crib with PU/PD and put down right away when he stops crying...you may have become a prop if you hold too long.
2) if possible add back in the bedtime bf and/or special mama cuddle time
3) continue to pay peek-a-boo and find mama games
4) time to get dh in the picture and don't rescue

I hope this gives you some place to start...I know this can be so hard.  And again I will post your thread in the moderators forum!

[annamum]

I think Branwen gave some fantastic advice already. She is right, your little guy doesn't know the art of self-soothing. Waking up every 1.5 hour at night is most probably it, he doesn't know how to get back to sleep on his own. Some babies, especially sprited ones, have a hard time with this.

Does he suck his thumb at all? Did you introduce lovey, something that he can get attached to? Some moms offer their little ones a piece of clothing (or a toy that mom kept close to her skin) and leave that in the crib, so baby can still smell his mom when he wakes up.

I agree with Branwen, it may be also separation anxiety time, that would make things even worse for a non-self-soother. Increasing time spent together during day and finding another way to be close to compensate for lost intimacy of breastfeeding could also help.

[aes_k]

Well, things have improved signficantly.  I thought I would let everyone know.
We bought Patrick a sleep sack (baby sleeping bag) and he is now sleeping in 5-6 hour stretches.  He was either just cold or......
finally learned to self-sooth.
For the past few nights, he has been going to sleep in his crib with only one Pu/Pd and then just tossing around until gets comfy and then he is asleep.
I am not sure what change but .... it has been a big improvement.  We will start to work on the night waking to eat soon.
Thanks for all your help.

[branwen]

We started using a sleep sack with my dd too about two weeks ago and her naps greatly improved!  I think she likes it warm and toasty    I'm sorry I did not suggest it!  So glad to hear that things are much better!  One pu/pd is GREAT!