Help - only awake 1.5hrs - routine?

[virginiad]

Can anyone suggest a routine that allows for a four and a half month old who is on 4Hr easy but will only stay awake an hour to an hour and a half and only sleeps for half an hour?

[Jaqi]

Hi,

I've got a 3 month old and have a similar problem (he's only up for about an hour and usually sleeps for 45 minutes only).

I've asked my sister-in-law (who also used the BW approach), and she said that if they wake up early from their nap and they're happy, she would take him out and talk/play with him a little. Once he shows sleepy signals again she would take him back to bed. Alternatively if he wakes up crying, she would use pu/pd to put him back to sleep.

Also, have you tried to see what happens if you leave him alone when he wakes up from his nap?

We noticed in the BW book that usually 30-45 minute sleeps for a 4 month old is due to a lack of routine or overstimulation. As we've been on the EASY routine for a while now so we're trying to 'tone it down' during our activity periods and giving him some alone time.

Hope this helps

[Gigismom]

hi
my dd is now 10 months, but up until 6 months, she would only stay awake for 1.5 to 1.75 hours and sleep 30-45 mins.  so the cycles were really short. but she woke happy, so i just got her up.  i then fed her after each nap even if it had only been 2 or 2.5 hours because to me the e-a-s order was more important than time frames, but that is a personal choice.
i did a ton of research on infant sleep since i was paranoid about the short naps.  i learned it is NORMAL for some babies to take short naps.  once the sleep center in the brain matures (at around 6 months), the naps will usually lengthen.  that is what happened with my dd.  at about 6 months we increased the awake time to 2 hours and her naps increased to about 1.5 hours.  we still have a short naps sometimes, but usually they are nice and long.
so don't feel bad if your routine isn't perfect.  just get creative and work with it the best you can, and hopefully when she's a little older, her naps will improve.

[virginiad]

Thanks for your replies.

I've just had a screaming fit from her. She woke up after half an hour and then was up for about twenty minutes before showing tired signs. So I put her back to bed and she was pretty much asleep. Five minutes later she is awake. I left and she started to get annoyed so went in. She was happy and chatting away. Tried pat/sh to get her back to sleep but was quite obvious she was going to go. So got her up. Ten minutes later she is rubbing her eyes again and tired. I couldn't put her back to bed though as it was nearly her feed time. So she started yelling her head off. I fed her early and then she feel asleep straight after. Had to keep her up for a bit as she has reflux so she fell asleep in my arms. Will probably only sleep for half an hour and be awake but I know that she will still be tired.

I have been trying easy but sticking to the times like it says in the book. Nothing seems to be working and I am getting so angry with her. I am trying to deal with that side of things and my doctor has put me on antidepressants because I am finding it so hard to cope.

I just don't know what to do anymore and am feeling like I can't deal with it.

She put herself onto the four hour feeding routine. if we feed her sooner then her daily intake drops dramatically so we have to stick pretty much, give quarter of an hour or so, to the four hour feeding. It makes it pretty hard.

I've tried leaving her and she just gets wound up. I've tried pat/sh whilst holding her and she will just wake up when I put her back in the cot. I've tried pu/pd, it seemed to work the best. But I was told you should only use it when they are crying and quite a lot of the time she isn't. I did manage toget it down to ten minutes at one stage.

I just don't know where to go now. What I do know is that if she doesn't sleep well during the day she wakes up a lot at night. Also that she needs more than half an hour in the morning, afternoon and late afternoon because otherwise she is really grumpy.

HELP!!!!

[shem2005]

my daughter is generally only awake for 1 1/2 hrs as well, i am currently trying to extend it. She will generally have 2 hour naps, i don't really 'accept' anything less, i use pat/shh until it has been 2 hours. Maybe cause she remains in the cot, even if she doesn't go back to sleep she can still generally last 1 1/2 hours for the next activity.

So i get around it by having activity before her next feed. Or maybe you can try feeding her between 3.5-4 hours depending on when she wakes. I think it is a very hard period when they are awake for 1.5 hours. I have been trying to increase her awake time because I have been told that this is probably causing her to catnap during the day. I can now get her middle activity time to about 1 hr 45 mins.

Maybe you could try and extend your baby's awake time. Yesterday we had 1 x 2.5 hour, 1 x 2 hour and then one catnap - it was great. So far this morning she has slept 2 hours and still going. This is sometimes how i deal with her only being awake 1.5 hours, she will sleep 2.5 hours.

I know how frustrated you are - only 3 days ago i was spending most of the day trying to get her back to sleep. I don't know why some days she can do it and some she can't.

You sound like you are giving it your all and that is all you can do. Sometimes we just have to go with the flow and pray that the 'phase' passes and try and stick to some sort of routine the best we can.

Good luck

[virginiad]

Hi Shem2005

Thanks for your encouragement. We had extended her awake time to 2hours but think that was too much. Nothing really seemed to get her to sleep longer than half an hour. THough....

Saying that she slept for an hour before, I went and picked her up and pat/sh (someone suggested picking her up rather than leaving her in the cot) then she went back to sleep for another hour. Can't remember the last time she did that. Had been up for quite a long time though. Now is wanting to stay up for no longer than an hour. um.....

I personally can't handle trying to get her back to sleep for an hour and a half. I have CFS and it is just too tiring. HAve tried though. Didn't seem to improve things.

Think maybe things are changing. Need to take more notice of her and if she is tired just put her to bed. Maybe she will sleep better. Also then try and pat/sh to get her back to sleep when she wakes after half an hour especially if I know she is still tired.

Great to get all this advice. I kind of feel out on my own sometimes. I really appreciate this forum and being able to speak to other people about it.

[Gigismom]

virginiad
i can totally relate to your feelings.  i was so angry and frustrated and stressed for the first few months of my dd's life because i could not get anything to work for her naps.  i felt like i was doing something wrong, becasue it sounded so easy in the book, but i wasn't able to make it work.  and i was exhausted too (and i don't even have CFS!)  what you are feeling is normal.  not everyone can make thier child do exactly what they want, no matter how easy it looks on paper.
for me what really helped was letting go of my idea of how our day should go.  of course, i still tried to guide my dd as much as i could, but had to realize she is not a robot and will not always do what i wanted.  so just letting go of some of the control took a lot of stress off.  i tried the best i could to get her on a routine and that's all i could do. 
my dd couldn't stay awake for 2 hours at 4 months either.  she was 6 months before she could stay awake that long.  so don't feel bad if your baby can't stick with the times set out in the book yet.  just do the best you can.
also, you say taht your dd shows tired signs shortly after waking up.  in our experience, gianna would do that too, but she wasn't really tired.  it seems like a lot of babies around 4-5 months of age will show tired signs at the "wrong" times.  i learned that when gianna did this, she was just bored and needed a change of scenery.
as for the short naps, i really think that they will improve on their own.  a good book to read is called "healthy sleep habits happy child" by marc weissbluth.  he has a lot of research on infant sleep that you may find helpful.
i know this phase is SOOOO hard, but it will pass.  just do the best you can and realize that is all you can do.  it's ok if it's not perfect.  it takes time to learn what your dd needs and how to meet those needs.  if you have any questions, you can pm me.  and check out the naps board if you haven't already.  there is a lot of info in there on 45 min naps and how people work around them.  good luck!