well, that's a much happier answer!
it was right around 4 months that he finally started to "get it." all that work with pat/shh started paying off and by the time he was 5 months, all i had to do was walk in, put him down, say good night, and walk out.
course, now we're in the midst of separation anxiety, and he's balking again, but after several days i think we're starting to pull through. :roll: