PLEASE HELP WITH SWADDLING

[cwolff]

I've posted about this before, but please, please anyone with answers help.  I have got to wean dd from her swaddle.  But I need advice.  For those that have gone cold turkey, was it seriously sleepless nights and sleepless naps?  How did you deal with it?  I'm afraid that I will cave, and I just don't know if she can't stay asleep without the swaddle doesn't that mean she isn't ready to wean.  Or should I give it two or three days.  And if I do won't we both be a mess and that will make it harder for her to learn to settle without the swaddle?

Also, I unswaddled her arm for her nap this afternoon and she woke up after 30 min.  Not sure what caused it.  So I just unswaddled her, and left her in the crib.  She's making noise and I know she's awake and but not crying.  What a mess!

Last, since she is yanking her paci out when she has her arm free, is it too much to just not give it back to her also?  I mean out of the swaddle and then no paci?   Please please your feedback is very much appreciated!

[rachelle]

I haven't seen your other posts, but why are you needing to swaddle?  My first we unswaddled about this age,but my 2nd we didn't unswaddle till about 7 months or so.  She just *needed* that comfort and feeling.  We had to use a large blanket (42x42 I believe), but swaddling was definitely a lifesaver for us for a long time.  When we did wean the swaddle, it was mostly cold turkey and she slept fine.  But I had tried weaning it before and she didn't do ok, so obviously she was ready the 2nd time.

[cwolff]

We need to swaddle because she flails like crazy.  Legs, arms everything.  And she yanks the pacifier out of her mouth when her arms are free, so we have to keep replacing it.  Plus, DH has been bugging me for months to do it.  I just don't know when she will be "ready".  Maybe she is now and she just has to get used to it.  I'm just so afraid to try, and if I do, how will I know if she's just not "ready" or if we need to give it more time?  Did your DD just take to it right away?  How long did you try it the first time?  Thanks for your input.

[Erin M]

I swaddled until around 4 months, but we went cold turkey.  I had tried a few times before and she was flailing around and kept waking herself up, so I just reswaddled.  When I unswaddled her the final time, she slept beautifully without it.  I think if she's ready, she'll be fine, if she's not ready, just bundle her back up and wait a bit. 
If you're in a hurry for some reason, you can swaddle more loosely for a few days and see how that works.

[Jaime]

i stopped swaddling my kids when they got to the point that they could break out but didn't care (didn't disturb their sleep at all).

it was around 6-7 months for each of them.

[cwolff]

Rachel can break out, and I'm not sure if she cares about the swaddle or if she gets cold.  That's the problem.  When we swaddle her, we have to dress her cool so she doesn't overheat.  But if she busts out, then she gets cold!  How do you get around that? Plus, my DH decided he was going to email a sales rep for the miracle blanket and ask him about weaning.  Yeah, he's a little bit ridiculous.  But anyway, the rep. was very nice and knowledgable.  He said that once they can turn over it's time to wean, or once they can break out of it.  He said cold turkey was usually the best way to go, and it's usually 3-4 days of adjustment.  Sounds simple, right, until you and the baby are up for 3-4 days straight.  Maybe then they just sleep cuz they're exhausted.  He also said that it's usually the parents that dread it and fear it more than the baby who adjusts.  So I'll try to remember that.  I was going to go cold turkey this weekend so DH could help, and Rachel caught a cold.  So didn't want to mess with her sleep yet.  I think we will try it next weekend and see how it goes.

[Tammy: Ethan & Kaden's Mom]

We used the miracle blanket with ds.  We used to completely up until about 5 months old.  Then, he was turning over, so I started leaving one arm out (his right arm) because he was just starting to like to suck his thumb.  And yes, he has a paci also, and he would pull it out sometimes, but never screamed for it, he just used his thumb.  After a long time of the one-armed bandit, we went to both arms out.  At that point he was starting to get out of it, so I finally quit using it at night, and dressed him in long sleeved footed pj's.  I will still use it sometimes for his naps, cause it is still warm here and he wears short sleeves and short type outfits.  So, I'll just wrap it around his body, and stick his feet in - just to keep him a little warmer.  Half the time when he wakes up, he's out of it, but at least I know he sleeps for a while with it on.

If she resists and resists, I would continue to swaddle until she seems more ready.  When we started the one arm out thing, it did take a few days for ds to get used to it.  So, I just went slowly to see how he adjusted.  But honestly, we did the one armed thing for a long time!

Good luck!

[cwolff]

Seriously, this is the worst thing I have ever done.  I was up ALL night.  Literally, every hour and sometimes half and hour ALL night.  She didn't fight me when I put her down, but I did have to let her talk to herself for nearly 30min before she fell asleep.  Then I don't know if she kept spitting the paci out, or pulling it out but I kept having to go in and replace it like ALL night.  I have never had to do this before.  At 4:30am, she spit the paci out.  I put it back.  At 4:32am she did it again.  This went on till 4:45am when I guess she finally fell asleep.  Then again at 5:30am.  I was a train wreck today.  I swaddled her for her morning nap and she slept for nearly 3 hours!

When they say oh it will only take 3-4 days it sounds so easy.  But when that's spent with NO sleep, how can anyone adjust?  HOw the heck am I supposed to know if she'll be better tonight, or worse?  Should I just continue to swaddle her?  I just don't think I can take another night of no sleep.  It was better when she was a NEWBORN!

[CaedensMama]

I would go back to swaddling and give it a few weeks and try again later. I would think when she is ready it will not be too much of a battle and frustration and sleeplessness on your end will just continue to frustrate both of you.
Is she sleeping okay with the swaddle? Is there some other reason I missed in why you are needing to work on weaning her from this at this point?

[cwolff]

Just general harassment from everyone in my family including DH.  When I got up for the millionth time last night, I cursed them all.  They can get their butts up here and stay up all night, because DH is no help at all on any night.  But he will get up with her sometimes on weekends.  I just felt encouraged because everyone else said they did it no problem.  She is just not ready I think.  She will put herself to sleep eventually at night, but I have to keep going in and giving her the pacifier.  Do you think I should wait for her to actually cry before going back in to give her the pacifier, because now she whines for it and I give it to her.  She has NEVER put herself to sleep without.  I'm afraid that if I wait for her to cry, I'm sending her a mixed message that I will give her the paci, but only if she cries.  Then won't she just start crying sooner?  And I don't think I can be up all night taking the thing away.  I have to sleep.  Even for a little bit.  I'm just really upset right now because she is not a good sleep, she's not a consistent napper.  What the hell do I have?  On the nap boards mostly I hear well he/she sleeps good at night but the naps are the problem.  Everything is a problem for me.  I get one good nap out of her a day, and that may or may not be in the morning.  I struggle for the afternoon no matter how soon or how late I keep up her.  When she puts herself to sleep at night, she usually wakes within one to two hours for the pacifier.  Then it's wake to eat.  Then lately it's been wake for the paci from 4am on.  It's really horrible.

[kellyhushhh]

Hi, oh you sound so fed up  
i know how you feel, im in the exact same situation.  I honestly beleive that when they are truly ready they will let us know.  I still think at this age they are not aware of their hands and thats why they pull out thier paci etc.  Im going to wait until 6 or 7 months before i unswaddle, that seems to be the norm.

Good luck if you continue trying but personally i would wait.

Kelly xx

[cwolff]

Oh no, I decided to give it a break.  I swaddled her last night and she slept till almost 2am feeding.  Then again till 5am, when she busted out of the swaddle.  I reswaddled her and she slept till 7:30am.  It was wonderful.

[pjs mom]

I am going through the same thing - we're at 6 months, and cannot get him out of the swaddle.  He is up all night crying, and the second we swaddle him, he closes his eyes and goes right to sleep.  We have been trying to wean him for naps - means he sleeps no more than 30 minutes at a time, and then I cannot get his back to sleep.  And we have been doing the unswaddled naps for over 2 weeks, and no change at all.  The reason we are trying so hard to wean is that he is not sleeping though the night at all - he gets himself unswaddled, and then needs us to come and reswaddle him.  He sleeps fine until around 4, then it seems to be every 30 minutes or so.  He is also way too dependent on his paci, but that is another issue!

[Lilah'sMommy]

Tell everyone pestering you to wean off the swaddling to shove it!  No, really!  I swaddled dd until she was nearly 8 months.  She busted out of it routinely, but it didn't bother her and she didn't get stuck in the blanket.  If your lo always busts out of the swaddle, dress her warmly so she's not cold when she does it.  I still, at 13 months, lay my daughter on top of her old swaddling blanket and symbolically "tuck her" in at night, which consists of me wrapping both sides of the blanket around her.  She always ends up with it balled up underneath her in the morning; it is her security object.  If it gives comfort and helps your lo to fall asleep on her own, and she doesn't wake up just because she's busted out of the swaddle, just keep doing it.  Eventually she'll let you swaddle more loosely until it is really more symbolic than anything.  I think that the paci is really a bigger issue here... it sounds like it has become a prop.

[Sean's mam]

First of all I'm really sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time.  If I were you I'd do the following:

1) swaddle your daughter for her next nap.  By the sounds of it you're going off your head with sleep deprivation so right now you're not in a position to make a decision on what you want to do.
2) when you're feeling a bit more human, start to keep a sleep diary for your daughter, based on your last post, the issue you need to address could be her dependence on her paci to go asleep rather than whether you should swaddle or not.
3) I'd suggest that when you decide how you want to go forward that you implement changes during the day, that way you can work on changing your DS's habits without making yourself crazy with sleep deprivation.
3) try not to decide on your DS's needs based on what family members are saying.  Its easy for people to say do this, that or the other, but at the end of the day you and your husband are the only ones who count when it comes to her welfare.  Also, if you're doing things because people are telling you to, rather than because you believe it's the right thing to do it could be that you're subconsciously setting yourself up for failure. 

This last bit of advice also applies to everything I've just said!!:wink:

Best wishes

Adrienne

[Lucysmom]

Hey - I don't have advice but just wanted to send you lots of HUGS!!!!!  Your night sounded just horrible.  I love what you wrote though...

When I got up for the millionth time last night, I cursed them all. They can get their butts up here and stay up all night

Soooo true!!!!!!!

If it makes you and your little one happy to be swaddled, then keep on swaddling I say!  Otherwise, go stay at a friend's house overnight and tell dh to have fun with an unswaddled baby!   :twisted:

[Lilah'sMommy]

try not to decide on your DS's needs based on what family members are saying. Its easy for people to say do this, that or the other, but at the end of the day you and your husband are the only ones who count when it comes to her welfare. Also, if you're doing things because people are telling you to, rather than because you believe it's the right thing to do it could be that you're subconsciously setting yourself up for failure.

Absolutely!  Well said!