Author Topic: 3 and a half year old bedtime stalling  (Read 1640 times)

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Offline Cat

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3 and a half year old bedtime stalling
« on: October 09, 2005, 01:06:21 am »
Hi Ladies!  It's been so long since I've been here!  My "baby" is now three and and a half years old!  Anyway, to get to why I'm posting, I replied to another somewhat similar post about stalling at bedtime by having to go potty.  I thought I'd start another post to see if there were anymore suggestions.

In short, my girl is stalling, and it's getting longer and longer by the night.  We have a routine, we stick to it, and it's been going well, but now, there's always one last request, a glass of water, potty, a kiss, a hug, something else she has to tell me.....  This stretches out the whole bedtime routine to about two hours  :roll:

It gets pretty frustrating especially knowing that you still have things to tend to around the house and the stalling just gets longer and longer.

Tonight I just let her cry herself to sleep.  It was hard, but I did it.  I didn't know what else to do.  Other nights I would just  give in to her stalls, then start to get angry and change the tone of my voice.  From there she gets sensitive and starts crying and saying "I just wanted another hug, etc..."  So then I calm her down and then put her to bed finally.  I just don't like that it always escalates into her crying and then me consoling her and putting her to bed (yet again!).

So like I said, I didn't do it tonight.  I just let her cry.  What do you Moms think?  Thanks.
Sincerely,
Cat
Mom to our Princess Giselle
18 June 2002

Offline Matthew's Mommy

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3 and a half year old bedtime stalling
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2005, 18:59:58 pm »
I went through this with Matthew. The stalling of one more kiss, one more pee, one more drink.. one more book.. ugh. It was exhausting.

What I did, was set it straight at the beginning of her bedtime routine. I would say to him
"First we go pee
Then we get a drink
Into a PJ's
One Book
and Kiss goodnight"

Then I stuck to it. The first night, it was a battle, and it was rough.  But after a few days, it worked. I just stuck it out and was consistent.

Another thing you can do, is set up a visual schedule-- get pictures from Clip art of each sequence of her routine, go over it with her at the beginning, and when each part of the routine is finished, tell her "the drink is all done, time for a pjs" I would put the picture of the finished routine in to an envelope.. so he could visually see that it was done. 

Hope this helps!
Jane
Whispering since 2001
Matthew July 27th, 2001
Brendan October 21st, 2004

Offline jessica and emilys mummy

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3 and a half year old bedtime stalling
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2005, 20:42:35 pm »
Hi Cat.Well Jess used to do this all the time.In the end we put up fairy lights and threatened to turn them off if she got out of bed.Also we made sure she had a drink,wee,story,song,cuddle,kiss etc before bed.
Now and again she tries it on and if it's more than a couple of days then we do a star chart.I tell her that if she stays in bed she gets a star and if she gets out of bed then she gets a sad face.
At the end of the week ( I normally only do 5 days) she gets to choose a small prize(normally her beloved stickers or a mag).
Let us know how you go.
Sarah-aka Dorfus Rhinofanny
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<img src="http://b5.lilypie.com/rR2rp1.png" alt="Lilypie 5th Birthday Ticker" border="0"  />

Offline Cat

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3 and a half year old bedtime stalling
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2005, 01:19:14 am »
Thanks, Sarah and Jane.

Jane, yes, I have done the charting you spoke of, with the clip art and everything!   Have not tried the envelope trick, though.  Are you saying that you actually put the piece of paper into an envelope?  Sorry, I'm so dopey at this time after a twelve hour work day and just now putting her to bed. 

Sarah, I like the idea of the fairy lights and actually having stickers with smilies or frownies on them.  The stickers we have now are like "great job", etc...  and being only 3.5, she can't read them just yet! 

I will try your suggestions.

Thank you kindly for your replies.
Sincerely,
Cat
Mom to our Princess Giselle
18 June 2002

Offline Matthew's Mommy

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3 and a half year old bedtime stalling
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2005, 03:22:58 am »
Yep, I would put the pictures into the envelope. It's a visual cue to the child, that when it's over and done, it's gone.

I had some lovely bedtime stalling tonight. Matthew's new thing is quietly coming out of his room, and lying on the floor in the hallway.  How fun!
Jane
Whispering since 2001
Matthew July 27th, 2001
Brendan October 21st, 2004

Offline Rachel Anne

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3 and a half year old bedtime stalling
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2005, 05:33:41 am »
We've had terrible bedtime stalling too recently  :x . Last night Chloe was up and down stairs until 10.30pm!!

We have a visual schedule too and a sticker chart so she knows what is expected of her but I just cannot get her to stay in bed!

I am being consistent though and I am "trying" not to give her any attention for her antics when she does get up and just matter-of-factly pick her up without saying anything at all and put her back in bed.
Dominic Samuel 18/7/99

Chloe Anne 22/11/02


God doesn't always give us what we want but he gives us whats good for us.

Offline jennifere

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3 and a half year old bedtime stalling
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2005, 18:45:42 pm »
I can't tell you that I have any direct experience with this, but am passing on the advice from my sister-in-law who is also a school psychologist...

She suggested a book called "The Sleep Fairy" written by Janie Peterson.  I ordered it and it just arrived today.  Basically, the book gives parents a story book way of telling your child that if he/she stays in bed after being tucked in, without calling out or asking for a drink of water or another kiss (etc., etc., etc.  :?), the Sleep Fairy will visit and leave a surprise under the pillow.  It also gives you a way to "taper off" the reward system after you've firmly established the new habit.  If you're interested, Amazon has some good customer reviews to read before you buy.  I'll let you know how it works for us...
Jennifer E.

My boys...
Ethan 10.03.2003 and Peyton 06.05.2005

Offline Rachel Anne

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3 and a half year old bedtime stalling
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2005, 19:14:26 pm »
Thanks for the Sleep Fairy book advice.  I have placed my order!  I will post back with an update in due course.

We are still having problems with Chloe's bedtime stalling mainly because she is having a really late nap around 5pm with really sucks as she crashes out on the living room floor or sofa while I am in the kitchen cooking dinner or cleaning or sorting washing etc.  She goes to nursery from 12.30 - 3pm so having an earlier nap isn't an option.

I have tried a sticker chart but that didn't work.

This evening she went to bed at 7.30pm after an hour of "jack in the box" behaviour and she didn't have a nap today.  I kept her really busy in the late afternoon and kept keeping her awake til bathtime!

Sorry to hijack this post but I am feeling frustrated with this whole bedtime procrastination thing.  I never went through it with Dominic!

ps I have bought Chloe a little musical vanity mirror and hairbrush which she will "earn" as a reward when she goes to bed and stays in bed without a fuss but she hasn't "earned" it yet as she is still controlling and manipulating us at bedtime and I bought this gift for her last week!  :roll:
Dominic Samuel 18/7/99

Chloe Anne 22/11/02


God doesn't always give us what we want but he gives us whats good for us.