How do I sleep train a 17-month old no longer in a cot?

[Eva10]

My 17-month old son has never really slept through the night. I had a semi successful go at PD when he was 12-14 months old. The real breakthrough however occured when I stopped breastfeeding at 14 months, the father took over, he accepted the bottle etc. All of a sudden he would sleep for 7-8 hours straight - only waking briefly 1-2 times - which seemed like heaven compared to his previous awakenings every 1½-2 hours. At the time, his father lay with him on a large futon on the floor of our son's room. Since he was suddenly sleeping better than ever, we let him continue to sleep on the futon, thinking that maybe he just preferred not being confined to his cot.

So here's the trouble. For the past month he's started to wake up 3- 4 times a night and will not settle easily, often screaming and whining for about an hour. We go to him, and lie next to him in order to soothe him, but to no avail. We've also resorted to the bottle, but that doesn't seem to help either. I think the time is ripe for intervention of some kind, as I'm getting really desperate for some uninterrupted sleep.

But how do I approach this, when he's no longer in a cot. In short how do I sleep train a 17-month old no longer in a cot? I'm reluctant to close the door on him - it's always ajar, and he will stand in front of it screaming, until we come in or he gets out....

I'd be really grateful for any advice, as the situation is getting desperately out of hand........ Thank you so much in advance for any replies

[elfin]

Hello,

Do you have Tracy's newest book?  She goes through a situation that is very similar to yours.

What does his bedtime routine look like?  How does he fall asleep?  Have these issues just started or did it coincide with the move to the bed?

Have you tried putting a gate up at the door in stead of closing the door?  This may help as he can then still somewhat see you, but can't get out.  I know of many parents who dealt with problems once they moved their lo's to a bed, the biggest one being that they would continue to get out of bed.  It took many nights of continually bringing them back and putting them back down in the bed, without much eye contact or interaction.

Sorry for all the questions, but post back and we'll try to help!

[Eva10]

Thanks so much for your reply!

I do have Tracy's latest book, but lent it to a friend. Must get it back asap, if she describes a situation similar to mine.

The gate is a good idea. I will give it a try.

My lo slept well on his futon for the first month. So it did not start with him moving to this new 'bed'. His waking up started - I think - around a time he was ill, and - come to think of it - worsened as he has lately started in day care 3 days a week.

His bedtime routine is as follows: bath, reading of a few books, bottle in bed and then close the light and lie with him - often in cradle position - until he's asleep. Sometimes it takes 5 minutes, other times 30 minutes, but on average 15-20 minutes of lying next to him in the dark. And then we sneak out. So he does not fall asleep alone, and that is probably part of the trouble.

Also he wakes up at 7 every morning, and he's usually asleep by 8 in the evening. His first wakes up around midnight, and this is often the worst one - really hard to get back to sleep. And then every 2½ hours the rest of the night until 7.

My ultimate dream would be to do the bedtime routine, put him in his bed, kiss goodnight  and then leave - with him falling asleep on his own. And pray, pray......for him to sleep through until the morning.

I've considered getting a cot bed to get him behind 'bars' again, and this time - not give up - until he's able to fall asleep on his own and sleep through  till morning. Do you think that's a better option.

Thanks again for your advice - it is much appreciated.
x Eva

[elfin]

Let me know how the gate at the door goes, as that may help somewhat.

I agree that alot of the problem is him used to you being right there lying with him when he falls asleep.  You could gradually work yourself out of the room, by first sitting on his bed for a couple of nights, then sitting in a chair and working yourself closer to the door until you are eventually out of the room.  It will take a few weeks, but you just have to remain consistent.

Keep me posted on how things are.

[AshtonsMom]

Wow that sounds alot like my son except most nights he sleeps right through. but he also needs us to be there for 15 to 30 mins.  He is starting to get really frustrated at nap time or bed time.  he goes for a nap around 11am and sleeps for 1-1.5 hrs.  bedtime at 8:30.  I dream also of the night that we can read a story, kiss goodnight and leave and he will go to sleep!!!  he started sleeping in a big boy bed and was fine with that transition.  but still wanted to be held to go to sleep alot.  now he throws a tantum at bedtime or nap time. I am going crazy with this andi end up thinking why can't my child go to bed like the others!!  any tips?