Habitual waking at 5.30 causing serious problems HELP!!

[Rohan's mum]

I originally posted on the end of a thread but later thought it would be better as a separate one so apologies.

I  have a problem of habitual waking with my 18 week old son. He usually wakes at 5.30am. Occasionally I can settle him until 6.30 or 7am but a lot of the time it can take up to an hour by which time I b/f him.
Unfortunately my problem is intensified by the fact that my dh is convinced that my ds is waking for one reason only, food and believes that I am being cruel in not feeding him. He thinks it would be far easier just to give him 5 or 10 mins on the breast so that he can go back to sleep (him and the baby). He no longer helps in settling him and within the last week he has resorted to shouting at me and walking out of the room (this is 6am we're talking about). 

All this puts more pressure on me so much so that I dread going to bed at night. I think I probably need to try 'wake to sleep' but have to admit I'm afraid to do so in case it causes further problems with my dh.
Incidentally I think my ds is teething I can definately feel the first two under his gums.
Would appreciate any suggestions. I will try to discuss this with my hubby at a reasonable hour but he is currently working 7 days a week and is often home extremely late in the evenings 
Nicky, Rohan's mum

[Katet]

Can you post your typical day routine?

[Rohan's mum]

Hiya thanks for your reply, here’s a typical day although it proved quite difficult to map out as I tend to take it from his first feed in the morning which can vary by as much as an hour. What I’ve done is a timetable based on the middle if that makes sense e.g. 1st feed can be anywhere between 6.15 and 7.15 so I’ve used 6.45 as the medium.

6.45       Wake up BF
7.45       Back to sleep until 9ish
10.15       BF
11.45-12.00    Nap 45mins -1 hr although gradually getting better
13.45-14.00   BF
16.45-17.00   BF
18.45      Bath
19.00      BF
20.00       Bed
23.45      DF

He rarely takes an afternoon nap as I try to get out in the afternoons and he usually only catnaps for around 20minutes in the pram or car seat. Sometimes if he’s not slept much during the day I let him have a short nap around 17.30.

The times can vary by 15-20mins either side depending on how hungry he is. It can often take up to an hour for me to get him to take a 20min feed. The first 10mins are easy but after that it can be a bit of a battle. He also prefers one side to the other and therefore feeds better and lasts longer on the preferred one. I’m aim to keep to a 3 ½hr schedule within the 6.45- 19.00 boundaries.

However last night I did the DF him at 23.10 (he woke up!) and he went straight through to 6.40 this morning. Do you think the earlier DF helped? I’ll try it again tonight anyway just to see how it goes as that may be the answer. As a result today has been pretty much as above except that I put him back to sleep at 8.15am by which time he was in meltdown!! His morning nap actually lasted 1hr 15mins though so that‘s some progress.

Also do you think I should be pushing towards 4hr EASY? He only weighs 14lb and is not gaining that much weight weekly at the moment, about 3 1/2oz .

Nicky
Mum to Rohan 3rd June 2005
A touchy/spirited baby

[Katet]

I think the DF is too late, I personally don't do one, but my understanding is they should be between 10 & 11pm to work effectively, so yes I would bring it earlier.
Also the fact he fights for feeds, I would try stretching it out, he sounds like he is "snacking" which will cause night waking as he doesn't take a big enough feed to have some "saved" up for at night. He sounds very much like my ds#1 in refusing one side (probably slower let down than the other) I always offered the 'prefered side first for a minute then switched to the other side & then back after wards (& pumped the rejected side after the evening feed- 5mins past empty) for about a month & that helped him to nurse effectively on both sides.
I also think the early wake up is part developmental as my 4.5mo does itsome of the time... as he goes from about 7.30 to 3/4am (I don't df) I tend to just feed him (maybe not needed but it works for me).

[Rohan's mum]

Hi
Thanks for your suggestions. I'll continue with the DF at the earlier time as I've only recently introduced it and will try to extend the time between feeds as he certainly does feed better if he has to wait longer.

He's teething at the moment so last night and today have not been so good. Not expecting to get too much sleep tonight either!

Thanks again

Nicky
Mum to Rohan
3rd June 2005