Hi there,
Since he is still young, under 4 months old, I would keep a close eye on his awake time, and definately acting on the first sleepy cue. For spirited babies, the sooner the better. Keep everything consistent.. lights out (if he has difficulty closing his eyes, then a very dark room is important) white noise (ie. fan) gives him something to focus on. Swaddling is important.
My little spirited fella had a very tough time settling to sleep when he was a newborn, so I know what you mean about the crying. I needed to keep myself as calm and relaxed as possible. The more tense I felt, the more upset he became.
If he was completely upset and frantic and beyond the point of no return, then I would use the soother. Because he couldn't self soothe (not until close to 4 months), I would offer the soother as a means for calming.
Also, keep his awake time as low stim. as possible.
Hang in there,