Help!!!

[cymonguk]

Phoebe is 12 days old, she has been having trouble sleeping in the morning, but today has finally broke the camels back, my wife has been feeding nearly 9 hours of the last 13....

She woke at 6:00 fed for .5 hr
8:40 - 1 hr
slept 25 mins
10:15 - 2.5 hr

12:30 - 2 hr
slept 2.5 hr
17:15 - 4 hrs and counting

she is obviously tired ( as is my wife) but taking her off results in her screaming and screaming and nothing will stop her..

[Samuel's mum]

Congratulations on your new arrival. My first few weeks seemed like a blur. I'm not sure what country you are in but I would try and speak to a breastfeeding counsellor/ lactation consultant. Try contacting La Leche League for a recommendation or your local doctor/hospital.

Here are 3 of my 'unprofessional' thoughts:
Make sure the feeding latch is good to ensure feeding is happening correctly. Big wide open mouth covering more than just nipple etc. (Have a look on breastfeeding.com for a video!)
Are you able to comfort her in any other way? What about motion or using a sling? She may now be uncomfortable as she is digesting so much milk. She is obviously using sucking for comfort. You could offer a clean finger or think about a pacifier. I didn't want to use one myself and some people warn against their interference with breastfeeding but they are popular for a reason!
Make sure your wife is at least able to feed in a relaxing environment and is eating and drinking well.
Good luck.

[cymonguk]

We are from the UK, and yes the first weeks did seem like a blur

we have had a midwife round and they reckon baby is latching on fine, generally she has fed well, she had problems starting (best not to go there as it raises my blood pressure)

Absolutely nothing will comfort her, we know it looks like it is comfort suckling, but she wont even entertain a pacifier, and she gets cross with a finger, she does try to use her own hands, but control isnt perfect she gets them maybe 4/10 times, which is good at two weeks but not enough to keep her quiet.

I went back to work today and left food out and sandwiches made, and have made food etc since i got home, I might not have believed her if i hadnt seen it myself tonight.

I tried taking her upstairs before and she pretty much screamed for 15 mins, took her out in the car (first time, willing to try anything), slept for the 20 mins I went out, woke up straight away, wont be swaddled.

She is definitely a spirited baby which i guess she gets from us both

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

I feel for you both!  It WILL get better! But in the meantime, let's see if we can't brainstorm some help...

First, we need to make sure that she's getting enough milk.  You said the midwife checked the latch...any chance you could double check with a lactation consultant? Any clicking or smacking noises when she sucks (signs of a bad latch) and are her lips flanged outwards like a fish?  How many wet and poopy diapers is she producing and have you weighed her recently?  Output (weight and diapers) is the best way to check input. Also, does your wife use breast compression as the flow slows down (dd goes from slow suck-swallow to butterfly suck-suck-suck)?

Then, we'll see about gas and/or reflux.  Does she burp well?  How long do you spend burping her?  Any spit ups?  Does she cry more after a feed or when you lay her down?  Reflux babies tends to comfort suck more because it soothes the pain.

Overtired/overstimulation is the next likely culprit. I know it's hard to get her to sleep.  I found the Happiest Baby on the Block to be a lifesaver when my dd would cry for ages.  It's the principle of the 5 S's - Swaddle (TIGHTLY - she might fight it at first, but it will likely REALLY help if it's tight enough), side or stomach lie in parents' arms, swing or rock, shh (fairly loud) and suck - nipple, clean thumb or whatever! You do these in this order.  The book gives really clear instructions and there's a video you can get too.  She really needs to be sleeping for about 2 hrs out of every 3 (give or take).  If she's awake longer than an hour, then she will definitely be overtired!  My personal feeling is that for the first few weeks, do whatever it takes to get her to sleep.  I did A LOT of baby wearing - I think my dd spent most of the day in the Bjorn...

Please keep me posted on how you're doing and I'll try to come up with more ideas!

[annamum]

The first weeks were a blur to me, too. I still remember how hard it was for me, my baby is spirited when it comes to sleep.

She didn't want a pacifier either. We tried to offer her since she was 3 or 4 weeks and she always refused. Then suddenly, my husband had a luck, she took it from him. To be honest, it helped and it didn't. When she was sucking it she was OK but as soon as she lost it, especially if she was sleeping with a it she would wake up again for it and it was more often than without it. We just stopped using it within a short time.
Wait with a thumb, she will soon be more able to use it on more consistent basis. As for swaddle, my girl hated it but later, I found out that you should swaddle real tight, that resembles a womb environment, while lose swaddle is just good for nothing  :wink:.

Regarding nursing. She is obviously nursing so long for comfort, as a spirited baby she won't go to sleep on her own. Anna was that way too, she would never fall asleep on her own, doesn't matter if she was rested or tired or overtired, she always wanted to be alert in case she would miss something. Of course, keeping her awake longer than she could take it backfired as she surely wasn't going to sleep if overtired, she would cry and cry. What worked for me was a sling. Not all babies like it from the very first moment but what you need to do is to put your baby in it and start to walk with her immediately. Your wife's movement will calm her down and she will feel secure because she will feel her body next to hers. It worked great for us, especially in evenings when nothing else soothed Anna. It is not very BabyWhisperer but in those early weeks you need to survive, right?

Also, within a few weeks, your baby will learn to suck more efficiently and she will eventually stay shorter on breast. Babies go from 40 minutes to even 5 minutes only at around 6-10 weeks. I know, for you it sounds like eternity but the time will just pass very fast.

[cymonguk]

I will try these things out thanks for all the ideas!

[Samuel's mum]

I've read about that 5 s's thing - holding on the side with a loud sssshing noise over the ear etc. It was a miracle cure on Richard and Judy!
Also try the NCT breastfeeding helpline.
And lastly your wife may have some very lonely long days until things calm down. Any friends/family who can drop by and make their own tea? Your car trips when you get home will give her a chance to have a bath and relax even if they feel silly.

[cymonguk]

Last night she eventually went to sleep lying next to my wife having had a feed. Certainly removing all stimulus seems to help sometimes, but not everytime.

Midwife arrived this morning, our little girl was weighed on Monday evening at 7lb 9oz, today she weighs 8lb 2oz, a gain of 8oz in under 4 days!!! Greedy bugger, so it seems she is taking milk ok

To go back through the various points:

1. She occasionally smacks but not oftern ,and she has that flange lips like a fish, she produces a wet diaper evertime changed and usually one poop a day (although she did struggle at first)

2. Hadnt heard of breast compression I will have a look at the site someone else mentioned with the videos.

3. She doesnt really do many burps, but we dont spend long burping her as we had been told not too. She went through a period of being really sick, even during feeding.

4. Not sure I have noticed if she cries more after feeding. Something to watch for.

5. I tried the australian swaddle but she got so cross, she adores messing with her hands. I will have to try again, she loved it at birth, and would only sleep that way maybe getting it tight enough is the knack.. Shhing just didnt seem to help, unless im not doing it loud enough..

A sling might be an option I think.

The first two weeks we just started to cope with and this hit us!

She was two weeks overdue, how does this affect all the information in Tracys book?


My wife says she has calmed down today, and even slept in her bassinet for an hour or so this morning which she is usually loathe to do, maybe she was having an early growth spurt, and was genuinely hungry?

Oh and a final thing is that Tracy says that babies eventually can stop having different cries, Im not sure I know her different cries (at first I thought I did, but i get less confident on that), is this something that happens quickly or would it take a long time? As you can tell doting dad worries too much!!

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Nice to hear she's eating well!!  As for the smacking - keep an eye on that - a lot of smacking or clicking when eating usually means that the latch isn't great.  If your wife's milk supply is good, then she could still gain weight, but might also be taking in a lot of air, which can make her uncomfortable.  Why were you told not to spend a lot of time burping her?  I also took my burping advice from the Happiest Baby on the Block - a slight up and down jiggle or bounce on the lap, then pat the back.  The jiggle gets the air bubbles moving up and the pat gets them out - worked great!

I'm not sure about being overdue and Tracy's book...I suspect it won't make much difference, but I wouldn't be surprised if she could have had a early growth spurt - babies don't tend to take all the literature to heart like we do!  :wink: