March/April 05 Thread #2

[Carter'sMama]

Wow, what a busy day!!  We had an open house today so I had to clean like a madwoman to get ready for it.  Apparently there was one couple who was really interested so hopefully they will put in a decent offer!!  While I was reading and trying to catch up on the last few days of posts, 2 new whole pages were added!!!!  There is so much going on!! 

Hannah:  It's my DH that works for Roush!  He is actually glued to the tv right now.  We don't have cable either but somehow he gets it on one of our 6 channels.   It is the last race of the season and 4 of the 5 roush drivers are in the top 10 for the "race to the cup" or whatever it is sooo he is pretty excited.  I don't mind because he gets Carter to watch it with him so I get mommy time.  It's weird that Carter will actually watch it because usually he hates tv, even baby einstein videos.

Andrea:  I know what you mean about the animals.  I love my cat and dog like crazy but they are so much more annoying now!!!  I don't even let my dog Boss wear his collar in the house anymore because when he shakes the tags jingle and wake Carter up.  I am thankful that my cat doesn't try and get into the crib or anything.  He basically ignores Carter.  Carter on the other hand tries to pull his fur and he absolutely loves teh dog.  When Carter is having a fit, crying hysterically we just call the dog and he instantly stops crying!

Traci:  That is a great idea about the Xmas cards.  I will send you my address if that's what everyone is doing. 

Ankie:  Carter went through a stage where he would deliberately look me right in the eye and then clamp his jaw shut while he was feeding.  Those little teeth are sharp  :shock:    Usually I would yell "ouch" (because it really hurt) and kind of push him away.  The yell shocked him enough that he would release the death grip.  If he doesn't release his jaw then I would stick my finger in the side of his mouth to open it and free myself.  Sometimes he would start to cry but he only bit me 5-6 times and now he never does it.  I would also take him off and sit him beside me and say "Well I guess you are done then, don't bite mommy"  which would always result in crying but it seemed to work.

I am definitely interested in the "Taylor Made" line of clothing.  I love the cute sayings on baby clothes.  I forget who said it but the "I eat dirt" is hilarious!!  We just bought the "My daddy is hadsome" one for a friend of ours.  Carter has a onesie that says "Little engineer" that DH dresses him in EVERY time he gets him dressed.  When Carter was little he had a baby hat that said "Boobman" (again DH loved this one!).  There is a website that makes funny t-shirts for kids/babies but some of them are pretty bad. I forget what the website is but some of the shirts are "Daddy's little squirt" and it shows a sperm, or there is one that says "They shake me" or one that shows stitches and says "I tore mommy a new one"  They are kinda funny in a sick way and I would never put them on a child!!!  My DH's friend send him the link because he ordered one for his son!!

Oh my, DH just rolled CArter in the computer room on his Kawasaki tricycle!!! It was in a box last time I checked.  He must of just put it together.  He says to me "Look his feet don't even touch the ground and when I push him on it his legs get caught behind and underneath the back wheels"  ... and this is funny?  I'm thinking oh sure why don't you keep pushing him around in it then ... seriously, do men think at all???  He yells to me "I think he really likes it!!"  Oh great, where are we going to hide a freakin tricycle until he is old enough to actually use it??!!  I guess I'd better go and take control fo the situation before someone (namely Carter) gets hurt!
Hope everyone has a great night!  What time is the chat anyway?

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Ankie, re biting.  What I did with Nathan was say "no" firmly and remove him from the breast.  He got over it in about a week.  BUT, try not to be scary (I learnt that the hard way), Nathan got a fright because it was a pain reaction from me and he went on a nursing strike for 24hrs at 8mths.  I had to work quite hard to get him back nursing and took about 4 days.  Does it happen at a certain time during a feed?  If it's at the end she's probably telling you she's had enough.  The other thing is, they can't really bite while fully properly latched and tend to pull back a little to do it, so if you can be watching what she's doing and quickly insert your little finger in the side of her mouth and let that take the brunt of it and then say no and remove.  Try and be really consistent with it and it should come right.  There is another method which I haven't tried, and that is to pull her into your breast and kind of smother her in your boob and she should let go - not sure about that method though? It could also be teething related so will hopefully pass.  Nathan only did it over a week at 8mths when he got his two top teeth and I never had any problems after that.

Andrea, I found with Nathan, if I removed all the precious stuff and left things that I didn't mind him playing with (I left all my books out, he loved flipping through them) and I wasn't going to stress over he'd leave it alone once he got it out of his system.  For example, even curtains, a lot of mums I know really stressed over them, Nathan would spend all day (well it felt like it) flapping the curtains around, I just left him to it and he did it over a few weeks and then stopped.  Doors as well, he was so active early on, I really didn't stress over him swinging a door back and forwards (nothing too dangerous going on though) and he learnt how to move his fingers out of the way and we've never had any problems, whereas mums I know were still going on about it at 2yrs of age cause their children had never been allowed to learn the cause and effect of how a door works.  As for then going to other peoples houses and running havoc - I've honestly never found that a problem, he has always responded to "no" (I actually used the phrase uh-oh and save no for special times when it's a safety issue) or distraction a lot better when out and about. :?  (It's something to do with feeling safe and able to "test" the  boundaries in a safe environment at home with people that love them).

JMHO, HTH.

[Jayri]

just to let everyone know that the chat starts for us tonight at 9pm est, I think it is10am for jo and becca,and I think 11am for nikki. I hope I am right in those times for you girls, but I do know that the chat for us starts at 9pmest in north america

[Judy]

Jo so sorry to hear about your night problems.  Poor sleep is the worst!! It just sucks!

Perhaps Fraser isn't suited to pu/pd.  I would say if it is making him worse for a long time until he's vomitting then definitely don't do it. 

Here's how I do it and it seems to work with Hannah (Kaia sucks her finger and doesn't really need much pu/pd):

She sleeps on her tummy, so I say to her "it's time for sleep" and then lie her on her tummy straighten out her sleep sac and then put my hand on her back.  If she quiets I remove my hand and attempt to leave the room and see if she cries or not.  If she cries I pick her back up sorta rolling her over to lying in my arms on her back, kiss her temple and say "it's time for sleep" and then lie her back down crying or not (the only time I continue to hold her is if she really starts to calm quickly and then I'll hold her only until she stops crying and then lie her down) once she's lying down I do the same thing, straighten the sleep sac, put my hand on her back and wait a second or two.  If she's still crying I do it all over again exactly the same way over and over and over.  If her lying down crying is just intermittent and somewhat quiet, not getting louder or more intense then I may try to just put my hand there and say "it's time for sleep" and see if that works.  At times I do very lightly tap her back just for a few seconds to kinda distract her from her crying and then just leave my hand quietly there. 

I would say though if he starts getting more and more upset, to a point of being hysterical, by the pu/pd then don't do it.  Not sure if you fit in the crib!! LOL  Seriously though, in Tracy's latest book there was a lo who was worse with PU/PD and she suggested they were not feeling comfortable with their crib and she crawled right in there with them to comfort them. (around pg. 241)

She also suggests having them in the crib with fun toys to have fun and play during wake time too.

[Judy]

Oh as for  putting all the valuables away.  I put away anything that would be heartbreaking for me (or put it higher) if it broke.  But I do have things around that I'd prefer they not touch or play with.  So as I mentioned before I would investigate it with them and then move on with them to something just as or more interesting.  Yes, they need to understand that some things are very important to people and not toys.

[FrasersMum]

Thanks Judy - I had read your previous post on using PU/PD and so I had been trying to follow your suggestions.  Can I ask, how long do you pick up for.  I was trying the pick up, say "it's night time, time for sleep", lay him across me, kiss temple, put down.  I guess - 10 seconds.  Is this too short?  This was when he was getting more and more hysterical and vomiting so obviously something was wrong.  I did forget to keep my hand on him in cot though, maybe that was stuffing it up??? 

LOL about getting in the cot with him - I haven't tried that since, oh, last night!!  I've been in there with him at least half a dozen times.  Yes, all 5'9" of me, in the cot with him.  Doesn't calm him in the least.  Nothing I seem to try does. 

Have asked DH to read the section in BWSAYP on PU/PD for a 6-8month old today.  He told me he would if he wasn't asleep.  I very nearly said something along the lines of "yep, you do that while I am at work, trying to make some money and keep us all in our house a$$hole!".  Guess I'm a bit overtired myself.

Sorry, waffling - so Judy, how long?  Ta!

[Judy]

Hey Jo - yeah I'd have made a similar comment (or wanted to) to my dh as well.  I could ask him to read something but he'd give me some line about it just being a book, just someone else's opinion and he doesn't need more opinions blah blah blah.

Anyway - how long?  Gee I think 10seconds or so if she's not seeming to calm and a bit longer if she is going to calm.  I can't imagine the hand thing being what's upsetting him so much or missing it - but maybe???  Hard to say.  How does he respond if you keep talking quietly and rub his back?

[FrasersMum]

He's like the freaking Energizer Bunny (do you have the Energizer Bunny??)  He doesn't even seem to hear me talking to him, he rolls around like a crazy man, scissors his legs on the mattress (does this immediately upon waking too), gets up on hands and knees and rocks, and bangs his head on the mattress over and over and over.  I have tried to pin him down but it makes him madder.  Aaahh, I don't know what to do.....

[Judy]

Oh and here's my other thought on lo's touching breakables at other people's houses.

I think hoping to go somewhere that isn't childproof with a young child and thinking that you are going to sit down, relax and visit is a sure recipe for problems.  Even if there's nothing in your own house in their reach that they shouldn't play with - you can still be right there at someone else's home and say "isn't this nice?  I think it's very special to grandma though so we shouldn't touch it unless we ask her first."  then either touch/explore it with them (and assume you can never leave then unattended around it or just move on with them to something else interesting they'd like to do.

Example. I let my girls jump/dance on the coffee table.  They can jump from the coffee table to the couch (but I ask them not to just jump up and down on the couch - because bouncing off into the coffee table hurts a lot more than bouncing off the coffee table on to the couch.  AND I assume they could break an arm falling off the couch and I'm sure a trip to the ER with a broken arm in a young kid would be investigated by child services... and I assume that "they fell off the couch" is a typical excuse given by someone abusing their kids... KWIM??  Call me paranoid!! )  BUT, my girlfriend does not even let her kids sit on her coffee table... so when we're there of course my girls sit on it and I say "this table is Sally's and Sally prefers that you don't sit on it" and either they get off of their own will or I try to interest them in something else there or in the playroom.  I also talk to them about it at home sometimes (not always) when they're jumping here - "it's ok to jump on our table but not everyone likes it so when we are at Sally's or Grandma's we need to understand that it isn't ok to jump on the coffee table".  Zoe gets this - Sarah might get it but she's too impulsive to be able to control her urges so she needs more hands on help.

My parents have a ton of breakable silly things all over the place and it makes or visits more stressful.  It's their house and they should be able to decorate it however they want.. but we just don't come to hang out very often either.  I don't see the point... with four kids I can't sit for a second so I can't be bothered to go there -easier if they just come here.  And my dad is very anal about his house... he gets all uptight about his wood floors and gets noticeably annoyed if children play with plastic toys (read non-threatening to the floor) on the floor.   :roll:  His right for sure and I shouldn't criticize it but my thinking is that his time would be better spent enjoying his grandchildren and guests rather than worrying about a scratch on a wood floor.  It's a floor for goodness sake.  Mind you I wouldn't let my kids go at it with my keys - but a plastic toy???

[Judy]

Jo, what if you had a longer wind down time - just walking quietly around the house with him for say 20 minutes??

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Judy, you have a great way of articulating discipline issues - I love reading your responses. 

Jo, not sure if you've mentioned it or not, but does Fraser have a cuddly of some sort?  Perhaps you and he could snuggle with that during your winddown time?  Sorry you're having a rough time.

[FrasersMum]

Hi again (my turn to hog the thread today, sorry!!)

Nikki - Fraser has a teddy that he sometimes cuddles, however often he grabs a hold of one of his arms and thrashes him around the cot.  We do perservere though - on some very rare occassions he just lies down and cuddles Ted, chats to him and goes to sleep - he did that this morning apparently, always when Mama is at work so I don't get to enjoy it  :roll:

What does everyone think about limiting day time sleep (robbing Peter to pay Paul right??)  I asked DH to wake Fraser after 1 and a quarter hours this morning - but just found out the nap went 8.15 - 9.30.  Kind of hoping that might mean 2 more naps for the day, but now I'm not sure whether we should cut short the next nap too.  Thoughts anyone?

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Jo, what's Fraser routine looking like now?  Do you think he's wanting to be up longer and dropping down to 2 naps?  Sorry, if you've already covered that.

[FrasersMum]

Hi Nikki

To save boring everyone else with the detail - I'll PM you.  Thanks!!

[Little Bear's Mum]

Hi everyone, I was away for the weekend and didn't get a chance to pop in. So I've scanned the 12 pages I missed and will start fresh again now.

Ankie, I love Arwyn's Chrissy outfit, I've been waiting to get our tree up before I take a photo of Daniel for cards. The rule in our house is not before 1 December. I set the rule so to keep myself from putting it up in NOvember. But this year DH will be away the week leading up to the 1st Dec, so it may just go up early. Daniel isn't quite crawling yet, but it won't be long, so if he crawls before Christmas the tree may have to come down. Therefore, I'll get it up to enjoy as soon as I can get away with!  :lol:  :lol:

We had our first swimming lesson today. Daniel loved it. Well, he seemed to enjoy it. No tears, just smiles and kicks. It's held in our base pool, so just a 2 minute stroll to the class. There's only 3 of us doing it, so great for one on one attention and help. One of the mums I already know, but the other is new back on base, infact, we're now living in the house they left 2 years ago when transferred off base! I haven't known her in the past so it's nice to now have the opportunity to get to know her. Also, she's now 2 doors down the road, so I"m sure if I'm not on here, doing housework or playing with Daniel, there's a strong likelyhood we'll be having coffee or going for walks.

Mmm I've got a feeling the chat might be on now. Might pop on and check. If not, I'll be back later anyway.

Oh, apart from last night (up 4 times) our nights are going really well, sleeping about 11 hours most nights, and naps are great too. If only we could get Daniel enjoying eating his solids.....

Finally, the weaning has been successful, Daniel loves the bottle, and although I'm currently lopsided due to one side drying up quicker than the other, so far all is going fairly smoothly in that department. Panadol is a great help!

Bye for now.