stuggling to feed

[Eden's Mum]

i have succesfully fed ds1 for 7 months before he bit me with 6 teeth and at that point i expressed until he was 13 months. now with ds2 i am struggling because he seems really reluctant to feed. i am not giving him bottles at all so there is no confusion but when i attempt to feed him he sometimes gags when the nipple goes in his mouth, before he has had any milk. he also sometimes crys on the breast and often is thrashing about so much i cannot get him to feed at all. this morning i ended upholding himreally tight to me and preventing his arms or legs moving at all, then wiht the other hand holding his head to the breast rather than just supporting him, and pullin his mouth open to get him to try and latch on. in the end he did and fed for 10 minutes before giveing up. any ideas? If i leave it too long after 3 hours to feed him he just ends up too tired to feed. it makes the easy routine not work and the feed if it happens is too sleepy.

oh and he is biting alot. ( no teeth yet thank goodness!)

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Clare - that sounds like quite the struggle!  I'm not sure about the initial gagging thing...maybe he has a very sensitive gag reflex?

Otherwise, how is your supply?  Often the squirming can be caused by a slow let down (impatient baby) or a fast letdown (trying to deal with the big flow).  How's his weight gain and output of dirty diapers?  Has it been like this all along (if so POOR YOU!!)?  Do you notice any difference when you feed him while sleepy - in other words, is he more relaxed and easier to latch etc when dopey?

Any lactation consultants in your area?  It might not hurt to get a professional to take a gander...  It shouldn't have to stay this much of a struggle for you both!  :shock:

[rooby-rooby-roo]

Hi Clare, i don't know whether it might be developmental?? Red has always been a fussy feeder, but right now it is at its worst. I am having to stand and feed, as he won't latch on any other way :shock:  The things that aggravate it with him are noise (Ruby, or me talking, or noisy toys etc) his reflux and his own blinking arms/ hands getting into the mix. He scratches and pinches me all the time, i am covered in wounds!!

Not much to help you really, just wanted to let you know that it might be an age thing and it will probably pass - hang in there!!!

[Eden's Mum]

Thanks both.

Erin - no it hasn'tbeen like this all along but it has gradually been getting worse. He is beter on my left side where the supply is very weak and he hardly gets anything. on my right side where it is a very strong supply and he gets squirted taht is when he tends to choke and come off alot but not really gag. this gagging seems independant of that.

Clair - what you describe actually sounds similar although i don't have to stand to feed. poor you!!

Last night he fed at 4am and yes it wasn't too bad as he was very dozy, although he fell asleep again quite quickly and was on my weaker breast so didn't get much at all. today it is nearly 10am and he hasn't fed yet dispite everything i have treid. i don't know what to do. I expressed off 200mls from the most painful side and tried him again but he wasn't having a bar of it so i expressed the rest off as well. i have treid him on both sides and he is not interested at all. he is wriggling and squiriming, gagging biting and spitting me back out again. He is even worse when eden is around making noise but today we were late so eden was busy with dh getting ready and not around atall.  his weight gain was fine, although i don't know now. he had a smallish dirty nappy this morning but didn't have one at all yesterday, i think he had one or two the day before though. i am at a loss.

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Something else I was thinking of...have you tried different positions?  I know with a strong letdown, it sometimes helps to nurse lying down so gravity doesn't contribute to the flow.  Or, with your lo on your tummy with your breast pointed up (I never really managed that one!).  I have a forceful letdown and I often had to pump off a bit first, or when I felt the letdown, I'd unlatch her and let some spray off into a towel and put her back on once it subsided.  I also found it got MUCH better as she got older.

[Eden's Mum]

I find he is most cooperative with me leaning over him, which doesn't help with a forceful let down on one side.

Today was awful. I hve had him wieghed and he has dropped off abit withi his wieght gain, quite disappointing, although has still gained. The lactation lady has no ideas and the two health visitors i spoke to today are none the wiser.

he fed at 3am, then refused to feed again unitl 9.20am when he only fed for 5 minutes. then nothing until i tried him again at 11am when he managed 10minutes before falling asleep on me. he then had nothing until 2.30pm when he had half anhour but did the whole thing asleep. He had 15 minutes at 4.30pm and then 10 minutes at 6.30pm to be honest at the stage i gave up on timing between feed and was just rying to get as much in him as posible before bed time. I will wake him again for df at 10 / 10.30pm and from then we will have to see. He is really tired today he has slept constantly but really doesn't show any real signs of being ill. the health visitors agreed that this wa sthe case. no thrush, no sore throat no cold. I ama oging to a breast feeding suport group tomorrow where hopefully we might have a few ideas.

[busymom]

Clare,


I was just wondering how your lo managed with feeding when he a few weeks old.  Also does he have a problem with choking?  I'm asking because my lo was great for the first few weeks- only problem was she BF a lot, almost around the clock.  Then at around 3 weeks she stopped wanting to eat.  She would cry a lot, so I'd think she was hungry, as hours had passed, then I'd put her on, and she'd squirm around but suck very hungry until a letdown, then pull on and off crying and in the end would only feed for 5-10 minutes total.  None of the lactation consultants knew what was wrong and the MD told me it was because the letdown was too strong.  I would pump some off beforehand but this wouldn't help.  It went on like this for weeks until my lo was 8 weeks old and tapered off in weight gain.  Then at 9 weeks I started noticing more choking and she would oull of and arch and cry a lot.  She was finally diagnosed with reflux at this point.  I'm not saying that this is the issue with your lo, but I'm always paranoid now after what we'vw been through.  I hope things get better for you soon.

Lori

[Eden's Mum]

Thanks. i will keep an eye on that one as it does sound similar. Noah fed really well up until now. we have had no probelms until this. I did think he might have something like reflux or colic for a while but after persuing that and getting to know him better i decided that hte straining meant he was tired as if i put him his cot when he starts doing it he goes to sleep but may be that is part of blocking out discomfort? this is day four of it now and i have been observed feeding him but still have no really helpful suggestions from the bf lady. They say i shouldn't worry yet about the drop off in wieght though as it can be normal around this age? i don't know. it is getting quite upseting though.