Routine - Strict or Flexi

[otm]

I'm going through a real period of self doubt and feeling like a massive failure. 7 month old son was on a fab routine, all happy and everything great - a week ago all changed and now we're both miserable! he is overtired druing the day coz waking up after 30 mins and i wont go back to sleep -i've really tried to help him go back to sleep but he never does and i end up getting angry and feeling guilty that he's just spent an hour crying for nothing.  Surely a whole week of trying to extend, what used to be 1.5/2 hr naps, would have made some affect by now?

Wondering if i should keep to strict naptimes and bf/ solid times or should i just take it from when he wakes up (anywhere between 5.30-7am) and be consistent about time awake - and adjust routine accordingly. Could that make a difference?

[carolyn]

I'm sorry that it has been so tough right now.  From my experience, it worked better for us if we did not keep our routine by the clock.  We had better days when I was more consistant about the time between wake, feed, activities, etc.  So, if John woke at 7:00 and needed 2 hours before a nap, he would nap at 9.  But if he woke at 6, I would put him down around 8.  Trying to wait that last hour was miserable sometimes.

More than anyting, I would suggest watching for the sleep and hunger cues and following them.  You may in a growth spurt or close to one, and things tend to go haywire then.

[momofnewbaby]

I agree with Carolyn. I go by her cues, rather than the clock, although most days she conforms to the clock all by herself, unless she's too tired, or has had a couple of hectic days of going out or people coming over and stuff. I too would suggest to look for signs of tiredness, and please ('coz I'm saying this from experience) don't fret a lot if he take proper naps, try to go with the flow, and not stress out. The more stressed you are, the more he will pick up on the anxiety, and no-one will be happy.

HTH.

Sumita

[Mum to Ella Rose]

I agree with the other mums.  Dd never has a predictable wake time. We just follow her lead and go by the amount of awake time and her cues as opposed to the clock. And please please don't feel like a failure!!! It's soooo very hard to be a parent and especially a first time one. We all go through the self doubt, etc. You sound like a wonderful mum who is paying close attention to try and do what's best for your lo. That's what's most important!

Sharon

[otm]

thank you so much for your help and kind words  -very much appreciated...will try and chill a bit..

i had no idea they still go through growth spurts this late - even at 7.5 months? really? So will he just drink more during his 4 feeds?

[carolyn]

i had no idea they still go through growth spurts this late - even at 7.5 months? really? So will he just drink more during his 4 feeds?

John hit growth spurts at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, and 12 months --- right on time.  You may find him feeding more or more often and sleeping more for a few nights.

Another possiblility is that he could be teething.

[mum2isabella]

When my 6 mth old wakes after 1/2 hour from her nap. I just bring her downstairs, let her play for a while then take her up for a nap as soon as she looks tired again. My routine is very flexible - after her morning feed between 6 & 7am she usually goes back to sleep for a couple of hours!!!!

[bsparki73]

hi mum2isabella,

I really feel my son would work well with that kind of flexibility....he's a short napper & I've put him down to sleep a second time too (ie EASASE)....just wanted to ask, do you keep your feed times the same? Do you stick to the 4hourly feeds?
Thanks,
Sophie

[mum2isabella]

Hi there - I do stick to 4 hourly feeds, but they're not always at the same time.  She normally wakes between 6 and 7am for her first feed, but this morning it was 5am. Because she always goes back to sleep for a couple of hours after her first feed, the first part of her schedule tends to be ESAES - this is not a problem for my dd as she never falls asleep at the bottle (being very spirited!) so she always has awake time before sleep (that's the most important thing). I find this flexible routine works very well for us and my DD seems happy with it.