can't stop the bad habits

[charity421]

my son is now 5 months old and his sleeping habits are so bad that when he wakes me up i am crying and litterally screaming for a half hour.  what he does is he has to fall asleep in his swing at 8:00 and then i'll put him in his crib (which is in my room, but is getting moved back to his room tonight) where he'll sleep for an hour or two.  then when he wakes he has to go bed with me and have a breast in his mouth.  around two or three he wakes up and wants to play until four, and still has to go to bed with me.  then the alarm clock goes off at 5:30 so daddy can get up.  sometimes this wakes the baby.  then no matter what he wakes up again at 6:30.   i also can't get him to take naps during the day that last more than a half hour.
i don't know how to break him of these habits because i am way to tired to think and daddy seems to think that being a mommy is sooo easy that i can figure out everything on my own and not get any help from him.  does anybody have any habit breaking routines that i can use.  i am very desperate that i will try anything.  the only thing i know for sure is that daddy and i are going to take alternating nights to get the little guy to sleep.  at least that way every other night i will be able to get sleep and be better equipped with dealing my baby.  and honestly that is the only thing i have figured out. 
help please, if this goes on the way it does i'm afraid of what i could do.
brandy

[Lucysmom]

Brandy - Hey there.  I am so sorry things are rough right now but you have definitely come to the right place with finding this site.  You are a strong person to have been able to deal with sleep deprivation for so long.  You are definitely correct in saying that your husband needs to take care of the baby some nights so that you can get some uninterrupted sleep.  So stick to your guns about that.  It sounds as if you are depressed and that is sooooo very understandable.  I would talk to your doctor and see about maybe getting started on anti-depressants.  I am on anti-depressants and feeling like myself again.  I don't know how you feel about medications but it is nothing to be ashamed of AT ALL.  It is only after I went on meds that my husband realized that he needed to pitch in more with the baby.

With the sleeping problems your baby is experiencing, it seems he is dependent upon the swing, the breast, or your presence in order to sleep.  I do not know how familiar you are with Tracy Hogg's books and techniques, but the swing, breast, and sleeping with you are all "props" because these things are what he associates with sleep.  So if they are not there, he does not know how to sleep.  What I would do would be to get Tracy Hogg's book The Baby Whisperer Solves All of Your Problems.  Since your son is 5 months old, you can use one of her techniques called pick up put down.  There is a board on this website dedicated to pick up put down as well but definitely get the book as you will learn so much and understand that you are soooo not alone and that there are solutions.  It seems to be the closest thing to a user's manual for babies in my opinion!  :lol:

I don't know if I have helped you but I know that you will find lots of support on this site.  You will get through this and your baby will become a better sleeper.  Sending you lots of hugs and support.

[stasztk]

Brandy,
I am the moderator on the PostPartum Depression forum. Have you been there yet? Would you take this self test please? It is important to find out if this could be a factor. If you find that you have a high score, you may need to seek treatment. If you feel more comfortable you can pm Deb (My comoderator) or I. This a big step towards feeling better.
http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/edinburgh-test-here-for-those-unsure-if-they-have-ppd-vt43462.html

What you are going through is very normal. In fact I am going through it with you. Due to my accidental parenting, my DD doesn't sleep well either. It hurts so bad for me to hear her cry.

I am glad to hear you have support. My husband is also a big help. If only we could let them help more! Even when you are feeling better you need to let him help. You just had a baby! (Until your baby is a year old your body will still be recovering, possibly longer :wink: )

I am not going to be able to give you advice. (I am in it too!) What I can do is help you get through this, and we can do it together.

[marlowho]

I agree with the above. 
The first thing you must do is get yourself together so that you can focus on your child and work out these "props" which are causing the disrupted sleep on his part.  So...your first idea w/ your husband and you alternating is terrific!  You NEED your rest.  Also- it sounds as if you are a SAHM?  My suggestion is: forget everything else for a few days so you can get back on track.  You need to tank up your own rest to be able to tackle your lo's sleep issues.  So until you've tanked up (may take a few days)- sleep every chance you have- i.e. "sleep when the baby sleeps."  Even 30 minutes here and there does refresh your body. 
The house can go to pot for this- you and your baby's health is more important right now.
As soon as you feel physically and emotionally ready, I of course suggest Tracy's techniques.  And prepare yourself- it will be a hard road for a very short time.  But the end results are well worth it.  If you do not have the book yet, please let us know- I believe there is a lending library if you do not want to buy it.   And of course please check in here with your questions.  We're all in this together!
(((HUGS!!!!)))

[charity421]

i have taken the ppd test and according to that i am not depressed.it's been two days now since i've put his crib in his room and the first night was wonderful. he still woke up about 3 times but easily went back to sleep, once without eating.last night was a little more difficult. i understand that he has three props and i think it would be better if i didn't tackle all of them at once, yes? i also have the book, and i find it helpful but also frusterating beacause she talks about helping families and i have no help myself. all my family lives over an hour away fom me.  so far i'm finding that the reason he is sleeping better in his room is beacause he doesn't have daddys snoring to wake him. ha, ha. but the last two nights were significantly better than usual and i have slept harder without a baby on me.  i am working towards being able to sleep through the night in a few weeks.  as for daddy?  well, he seems to think the reason i asked him to get up the first night is because i don't want him to sleep more than me. i think men should come equiped with more estrogen. then they might start to understand. thank you for your help in this. i felt i was ready to lose my mind.
brandy

[marlowho]

Brandy I'm so glad you took the test.  And being sleep deprived can make any of us wonder about the ppd, too!
As far as getting help, I do understand.  My family all live at least 11 hrs. away.   
It is very tiring to do it all yourself.  But you can do it!  (My sanity saver has been this site, I think!)
And I'm so glad that your moving the crib into his room helped.  It always helped us as well. :wink: