no sleep

[ling]

My DD is four weeks old and I'm really trying to do this right- but she doesn't like it at all!
 :twisted:
she only likes to nurse to sleep.  which i can't do- so this morning for example she woke at 9 ate, played for about 30-40 min, yawned so i put her in her crib patted and shuushed- she begab to cry, picked her up more patting, she con't to cry for the next two hours, by this time it's time to eat- let her nurse-she falls asleep- I change her diaper b/c she can't fall asleep after nursing right?- she wakes up- cont' to cry again for another hour- at this point we've both been sitting in a dark room, patting& shushushing for three hours while she screams.
I decided this EASY stuff doesn't work- fed her gain and let her go to sleep!
Honestly if things don't get better I'm throwing this book away and trying something else.  I like the idea of listening to what your baby wants and needs- but what do you do when the only thing she wants are all bad habits!!?  She wont' take a pacifier either.  I've been trying to break the nurse to sleep habit for three days now. No prgress as far as I can tell.
I dont' really care how long she sleeps at night- I just wish we could have some awake time where we both weren't in tears.
Any advise is apprecieated.
jenn
mom to ESME- spirited baby I'm sure :mrgreen:

[Isom'smom]

Honey, take a deep breath and put the book down.  It's a book.  It's a good book.  But it's not the Bible. 

She's only four weeks old.  You are exhausted from not sleeping.  She's exhausted from not sleeping.  Sometimes you just gotta do what gets you through the day.  You should let her eat until she's full.  Don't change her diaper afterwards, just lay her down.  If she's taking full feeds before she falls asleep nursing, then let it be for a while.  It's not a bad habit.  It's just not a habit you want when they are 18 months old.  The whole premiss of the book is start as you mean to go on.  It's not follow the rules or you'll have a totally dependent child.  It's a good jumping off point with a lot of common sense behind it. 

So go nurse her to sleep if necessary, take a nap with her, and then, after a while, you'll be ready to tackle sleep training together.

Crystal

[jennc123]

I agree, she is way too young right now, feed her on demand, she will sleep, personally i didn't really try any sleep "tactics" till Bella was 4 months old.  give it time.

[mthyne]

You sound just like me--I was determined to have my baby on a routine at only 3 weeks.  The fact is, you just can't.  The other ladies are completely right--it's a book, nothing else.  Do what works for you.  I cried with my baby for 2 weeks until my DH had enough and took the book away.  Enjoy your baby now.  Things will start to make more sense when she's over 8 weeks.  Just watch her and see if you can distinguish some of her different cues now, but don't worry about it!  Take it from someone who did it too! :?  Relax!
Melissa

[Deb_in_oz]

on another note - i woudl also suggest that you put her down earlier for her sleeps - i see you have noted she is spirited - it took me until 7 weeks to realize that my Olivia was overtired and not napping due to that.  by the time she yawned it was past her "window" and this is quite common with spirited ones.  do you have the latest book or just the original BW book? the latest one goes into specifics about the types a bit better so if you have that one i would go through the pages in the index and read how to apply BW to spirited children.  I can tell you it is different - having raised dd1 with BW it was much easier with a straight textbook/angel baby.

try making sure she is in bed earlier than her first yawn - how long does it take to nurse/feed her right now? you mentioned she "played" for 30-40 min after that - i would bet money that it was too long for her, but the only way to figure it out is to start putting her down earlier and see if she is better.

there is a support group thread in the EASY forum that is for dealing with spirited babies - i suggest you also have a read through there as it has some tips form those of us with older ones (and a lot of moms are findiing it is their lifeline to sanity by checking in on that thread)

good luck - i seriously recommend you stick with BW because as hard as it has been implementing it with a spirited baby i think i woudl have had an even harder time if i had not read Tracy's insights into handling spirited ones 

[ling]

Thank youall so much for the advice and encouragement!  It really helps tp know that I'm not the only person whose been through this.  I think I will just cut back on the training and hope to get through the day with whatever works for awhile!  I'll catch up with the book in the future- and I'll definetly keep an eye on the spirited baby support group.  Thanks again.
Jenn

[jennc123]

good luck!  I am not saying these baby books aren't beneficial, just take what you can out of them, not all babies are BW, or any of the other sleep tactic ways, my hubby just about threw all my books away because after awhile I didn't know what was right and what wasn't, i just started listening to her and reading her cues and it eventually worked out.  I took some great tips and advice from this board and another board and also from the BW and also my own common sense. :wink: 

[simplyme]

:lol:
This is my first time responding to anything I've read so far.  My DS is 4 wks old and is my second child.  Read the BW with my first - textbook - this time I feel like I have no clue.  Little by little I remember it was a tough start. 

Thank you for all your insights, especially "put the book down, its not the bible".  My husband too is not up for hearing any more and reminded me that just yesterday I said I was going with my instincts.  We all have them and I forget that BW is just some more practicals but every relationship is unique.  I want to enjoy my little miracle, not continue to stress.  He has not been napping, unless we go out and with everyone's posts, I think he's just been up too long and is not quite ready for EASY.
I'll let some more time pass.  Congrats to all moms wanting to understand their children, parenting is not always "easy".

[GG]

I agree with Debra.  You shouldn't let your lo be awake for more 15-20 min during the activity time. (My spirited little guy barely stayed up that long when he was a month old, and I hadn't even found the BW book yet. I just went by his cues.)  She will get a lot out of that short timeframe, trust me.  Also, make sure that the activity for that timeframe is something low key.  Spirited/touchy babies don't need the extra stimulation.  After that, I suggest starting a short wind down routine in a low key environment.

True, the book is not 'the Bible' and, above all, you should definitely follow your parenting instincts.  However, the one thing to keep in mind moving forward: as Tracy said, do things now as you mean to do when the baby is older and used to them.  So if she gets used to nursing to go to sleep at 1 month, she will most likely be an 8 or 11 month old baby that wakes up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep w/o eating.  It's a lot harder to change a baby at an older age than it is to get her used to things when she's still an infant.  (The only thing I would change about the first few months of raising my DS - if I could go back - before I discovered the BW book, is to not nurse him to sleep.  My life after those 3 months would have been a LOT easier!!!  )

One more thing... when you're exhausted or ill, you don't have to try to do any sort of training.  Do what you need for that time period in order to get through it.  Give yourself some time to rest and be well and then, when you've the energy, give it a go.  (just hope that your lo hasn't learned any habit that are too bad. ;-))

Try the new shortened activity time and let us know how things go!!