Author Topic: Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!  (Read 1702 times)

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Offline Katw

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Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!
« on: October 17, 2005, 19:55:05 pm »
Hi there,

My DD is just over 5 months and has been on EASY since she was 5 weeks. I went through the sh/pat routine ages ago as she was so hard to put down to sleep and through sheer perseverance it paid off and she was able to go down for bed and naps.

However for the past week evenings have been a nightmare!!

She just doesn't seem to want to go to bed! She will let me swaddle her and pop her in and will even lie quietly for about 5 mins. Then she starts to winge and it goes on and on and eventually it goes to crying and then I know if I don't go in she'll never settle. I have tried re-swaddling, putting on side ( which she always preferred) and also putting on her back , but none of it seems to work!
Sh/pat doesn't work anymore as I think it winds her up as it was so long ago that I had to do it that she has forgotton all about it!!! Also with PU/PD it is hard as when I PU her swaddle comes undone and she'll just lie on the bed grinning at me. She stops crying when I walk into the room so doesn't really need to be PU!

Do you think this is just a ' phase ' and that I just need to grin and bear it?
She started solids about 2 weeks ago so am wondering if that is an issue, she has them at 11am and 5pm at the moment, do you think 5pm is too late? Also wondering whether to cut out the cat-nap but then I'm thinking if she falls asleep out of exhaustion then its not really teaching her to sleep on her own!!!

Gosh I'm sorry so many questions but I'm so puzzled and pulling my hair out as to what to do!!!
Thank you!!!

Nikki~Nathan&Danielle

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Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2005, 06:03:08 am »
Hi, my first thought is wondering how long your activity times are and yes perhaps looking at dropping the catnap - not wanting to go to bed is quite likely resistence because she's not tired.  My dd transitioned onto 2 naps at 5mths (yet others do still need the catnap), but her personality seems to allow for that and she doesn't melt down, but does sometimes pass out at her final feed.  But because she goes down for naps well and it doesn't always happen it doesn't cause us any issues.

How long are her activity times?  I wouldn't think the food is an issue as a first step because she calms when you go into the room - to me she's just not tired at that point.  The other thing is, what does she have to sooth herself with?  My dd has a blankie which really helps her go to sleep.

Offline Katw

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Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2005, 11:50:51 am »
Hi Nikki,

Thanks for your reply. Lucky you living in NZ, my Dad lives near Wellington and I just love it out there!!

Anyway this is what our days generally look like , she is not a baby who stays awake for long as she gets too tired.

Wake up around : 6.30am - 7.15am
Eat : 7am/7.15am
Sleep : 8 or 8.30 depending on wake up time until 10-10.30am
Eat : 11am milk and baby rice
Sleep: 12pm - 1.30pm or 2pm
Eat: 3pm
Catnap: 4pm- 4.45pm max
Eat : 5pm veggies or fruit
Bath etc 6.30pm then milk
Bed: 7pm but now not sleeping until 8/ 8.30pm
The thing is I'm not sure she'd last without the catnap if she is awake from 1.30pm so I'm quite stuck as to what to do?

She doesn't really have anything to soothe her as her hands are in her swaddle, we have tried leaving them out but she then can't get herself to sleep. She is slowly starting to learn them though as since she has been having her 2nd lot of solids a day I have not have to get up in the night to re-swaddle her. She is going from the DF at 11pm until 6.30 ish, which is great.
At the moment I am leaving her until I can tell she is getting worked up and then going in and doing a re-swaddle and eventually she goes to sleep, sometimes on her side , sometimes on her back. There seems to be no pattern as to what finally triggers her to go to sleep.

So anything you can think of would be great!!
Thanks alot

Nikki~Nathan&Danielle

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Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2005, 23:27:25 pm »
Have you got the latest BW book? I think you probably do need to work on extending out the activity times gently, there is a plan in there for 4/4 which works on around 2hrs of activity time initially, this will mean that you push out the two naps and may or may not need the catnap depending on how you go - my dd has a 4hr activity at the end of the day which does seem long, but she manages to cope with that fine - of couse you'd need to get the wake up from the last nap to extend out till 3pm.

I would also say it sounds like she's going through some developmental changes that could be causing her to not settle - could be linked to the swaddle and her learning to use her fingers.  Until she can suss that out, there may be a few weeks of disturbed sleeps where you will need to help her through pu/pd or patting.

Good luck.

Offline albertasweetpea

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Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2005, 01:34:54 am »
Hiya Kat! So sorry to hear Alana isn't sleeping well these days.  :(
I did want to you know that when Molly started not wanting to go down for her catnap (only about a week ago) I headed straight to the BW site for answers too!!  I read quite a few posts and some of the EASY schedules and saw that many LO's drop the catnap around 5-7 months. Perhaps that is it with Alana!! You say she isn't one to have a long awake time, neither was Molly. I was surprised to heck the first time she refused her catnap because she didn't go to bed until 6:30 pm and had been up since 2:30 pm. She went right off to sleep though!! Tonight, the same thing. She was up from her afternoon nap at 1:30, refused a catnap and went down very easily at 6:15 pm.
I'm with Nikki on this one, try to let her drop the catnap and see what happens at bedtime. Sometimes they surprise us!! You may have to bump bedtime up by a bit the first few nights.
Also, give it a go stretching the awake time as well, say by 10 or 15 minutes only and see if she is harder to settle. I have stretched Molly's awake time to 2.5 hours usually with no problems either!!
Good luck, let me know how it goes OK?
Hugs.
~Michelle (Spruce Grove, AB, Canada)

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Offline Arwyn's mom

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Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2005, 05:18:39 am »
Hello Kat,

Your lo sounds like mine right now. For the past little while (2 or 3 weeks) we have been battling going to sleep. The first two naps are okay. I would like to have her fall asleep independently but she needs me to help her fall asleep by pat/shushing. She used to be able to just drift off but now, she is pushing up, rolling over, etc. until she is right knackered and can't settle herself down. It is turning into a huge struggle.

Anyway, our schedule is EXACTLY like yours except that I also feed solids at breakfast. We too, started solids at 5 months 2 weeks. I worry about her being up from 1:30 onwards also. For the past two days, this is the case... after about 1h 30 minutes screaming and pu/pd and pat/shush for her 4 pm catnap both days. If I take her out of the bedroom, she is fine. She will continue on the day, play, eat, etc. But, if I put her back in the crib, the screaming and crying will start again. So, my conclusion is, she is dropping the catnap.

My suspicion on not being able to settle down for naps and evening sleeps is that there are so many developmental things happening at this time. Maybe Alana is experiencing more mobility and this wakes her up or causes her to be more distracted when supposed to be winding down for sleep. I would swear that Arwyn "sleep crawls" as she gets into the crawling position and then can't get out of it, therefore... waking herself up.

I know this post is not very helpful. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. There is so much going on at this age that I think the little ones view sleep as secondary!  :wink:
Ankie
Burnaby, B.C. Canada




Offline Katw

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Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!
« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2005, 19:02:38 pm »
Hi Guys,

Thanks so much for all your replies!
Well yesterday she slept from 12pm until 2.15pm ( very tired as we had swimming in the am) so I decided to go out rather than her have her catnap. She was fine and only got grouchy at about 5.40pm, thank god for door bouncers and baby einstein!!!
Whenever she has not had the catnap before either because we have been out or because she wouldn't go down, she has always gone straight down in the evening , so yesterday I was pretty hopeful!! Bad mistake as it was the same as the other evenings, just crying straight away!!!
It did only take 30mins for her to settle which wasn't too bad!!!

So today she only slept 1hr at lunchtime so thought she'd better have the catnap, well she thought otherwise and refused to go down even though she was knackered. So at about 5.30pm I decided to go for a walk to kill some time until bed and she went to sleep!!!
This is the baby who has NEVER slept in her stroller since starting BW !!!
Anyway thought she wouldn't go down tonight but she lay chatting for about 10mins and has been asleep for about 35mins now!

So who knows what the answer is!!! Guess I'll just have to play each day as it comes for a while!!!
Thanks for your replies though , it great to know that help is at hand!!!

Nikki~Nathan&Danielle

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Help, suddenly won't go to bed!!!!
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2005, 20:23:26 pm »
Hi, yep it is challenging when they're constantly changing.

Just a comment on the walk in the stroller - for quite a few months I always did the catnap in the front pack, so just if you're worried about creating a bad habit, don't worry about it because it is the first nap to go and as long as you're doing the other naps in her own bed it won't create anything that you need to "unfix" later.

Good luck.