Author Topic: Does ANYONE have a true success story??  (Read 2023 times)

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Offline Mom2you

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Does ANYONE have a true success story??
« on: October 18, 2005, 15:32:52 pm »
I have to ask...........granted, this is a help message board, but I see sooooooooo many moms having such a hard time with this, and I have been driving myself mad for over a month now. And once you get them on any sort of schedule, they just throw it out the window with teething or illness or growth spurts anyway..........is this worth the time and effort, just to have to start over?? My dd is 5.5 mos old and teething, (first teeth - her canines!!!) and has been absolutely miserable for a week now. She cries and cries and screams and will not stop unless I hold her. So, the whole sh/pat thing we had been semi-successful with is out the window! She is up every hour until her first feed of the night (bed 7:30, up 8:30,9:30, 10:30. 11:30, feed at 12:30), then will sleep for about 3-4 hrs, then is up crying until I feed her again......then sleeps restlessly until about 6:30 am, then falls into a blissful full sleep until 9:30!! Which does me no good, as I have a 4 yr old who gets up at 6:30 am. I am going on a full week of 4-5 hrs sleep each night and needless to say, I cry alot! :cry:

I've read another message about talking to people whose children sleep beautifully with no help......I have a ton of "those" friends!  :x  I'm scared I'm falling into postpartum depression now - is that possible 5 mos after the fact?!

I read the book, and it makes sense and it sounds do-able......then I try it and I'm so frusterated and confused and stressed.

anyone else feel this way?? any help??
Mom of Spirited Kenna (and Gage)

Offline Isom'smom

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« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2005, 15:57:20 pm »
I know it sucks, but it does get easier.  There is no true success until they leave the house (sometimes not even then).  So we parents perservere with splitting headaches from children screaming in our ears and our eyes crossing from no sleep.  We think about selling our children when they aren't angelic, and they they look up at you like you are the smartest person in the whole wide world and they are so glad you are there to play with and hold on to.  And that's when you know it's worth it.

No, you are not going to sleep like you used to.  You won't be able to do the things you used to without a gigantic diaper bag sling across your body just in case....  The sleep thing will sort itself out, just be as consistent as you are able.  There will be weeks when they'll sleep through, and weeks when you'll sleep through work.  It's just part of being a parent and it's even harder when you are a good parent.  Some babies are easier than others.

Hang in there.

Offline Aarismom

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« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2005, 16:43:09 pm »
Yeah, it's really nice to say, I have a baby who is teething and still sleeps through, takes decent naps even though we still have a few off days a week. However, that didn't come without a lot of training and tears. I still wish she would sleep better when we're out and about, but I guess I just don't have that sort of baby. There are some things you have to come to accept about your lo as parents. Once I realized that going with the flow, even though sometimes it's a bit hairy nap wise, makes my mental picture a lot less stressful, I felt a lot better about myself and my ability to be a parent.

But that didn't happen until I became medicated. PPD really skews your entire picture, because all you see is the negative, never the positive. Your life becomes centered around naps. Your day completely depends on how well your lo naps, or eats, or whatever. You never go out. You cry a lot.

In answer to one of your questions, PPD usually shows up within a year after the birth of your child. Mine showed up at about 3 months. It can last up to 3 years I believe. Getting help was the best thing I ever did for myself. It's hard to diagnose, because the symptoms fit very nicely into other disorders.

I can sit here and tell you not to stress about it because there are a lot more things that are going to happen that are harder to deal with between now and the time your dd moves out, but that doesn't help you now. The most I can say is, hang in there, this too shall pass! Every time I have to re-train it's easier, because she's already done it before. I'm not sure they ever "forget"...they just change habits, and unless you're stubborn about it and realize they're not really doing it on purpose at this age, they will get the best of you.

Hope you start getting more sleep soon!!

*HUGS*
Sonya =P


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Offline marlowho

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« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2005, 17:09:08 pm »
I think the reason you want to see more success stories is b/c you are seeing a lot of the negative right now.  (Rightfully so- things are hard right now!) 
But also remember that understanding our lo's and loving them through these tough times is also part of Tracy's message. 
And don't be afraid of holding your child when she needs you- that's a beautiful part of being a mother and no schedule is worth giving that up.
But also being consistent when they aren't sick or in an otherwise hard time will pay off for you in the long run.  I kept up with BW with my touchy one (#1-Madeline) and it has definitely paid off.  She understands our schedule and though she bucks it most days it has been ingrained into her so she doesn't buck it like I know she would if I had never done BW.  And just the fact that I know her tendencies from knowing her personality is a huge blessing.
Hang in there!
And by all means, if you need to talk someone about the possible ppd, please do so!   HUGS!!!
-Marlo, mommy to
Madeline Marie (3/9/03)
Noel Julienne (5/25/05)
Eloise Anne (8/3/09)

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Offline Jaime

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« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2005, 19:00:10 pm »
(((((HUGS)))))

it's always a work in progress, and when things stink, it's hard to see that there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.

i have found that there is usually regression of some kind, but by staying as consistent as i can, i can get through it all - and only slightly harmed!  :wink:  :lol:

and as marlo said, i have a toddler who knows what to expect and is not the totally insane little girl i know she would be otherwise.

hang in there, it will get better!   :D

ps - yes, check out the ppd board if you are suspicious - it can show up later...
Jaime
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DD - Textbook
DS - Touchy/Grumpy

Offline tylersmommy

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« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2005, 19:07:55 pm »
I can clearly remember wondering if it was all worth it when Tyler was an infant. We put a lot of hard work into sleep training, and like you said, it seemed to go out the window quite a bit with teething, milestones, and who knows what else. But the beauty of it was that once we'd laid the groundwork and successfully gotten the routine in place, it never took more than a few days to get back on track after a bump in the road. And it was never as labor intensive to re-train as it was to sleep train him initially. I'm not going to lie to you...it can be HARD work at the outset...but it's most definitely do-able and totally worth it in the long run, IMHO. You have to commit to it and stay consistent at first, and once things are firmly in place, you can often introduce a bit more flexibility.

Although BW did help us get Tyler to sleep well and instill a routine, the biggest benefit has been the outlook it's given us on our DS. The whole method revolves around treating your child with respect, listening to her, and getting to know her as the person she is, and that's been such a gift for us. Although Tyler is now almost 22 mo and has become quite the spirited, stubborn toddler, it's amazing to see how much security he derives from his routine (even when he fights it) and how easily we can anticipate his needs. Worth it? I think so! :D
Melissa
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Offline shem2005

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« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2005, 03:48:08 am »
I understand you completely. We have worked so hard to get our DD to sleep on her own and then nap for long periods. She has always been pretty good of a night but the day naps drove me crazy.

I think now we are just starting to reap the rewards. She had two weeks of blissful sleeps and i mean textbook. Then this week she has been all over the place, but for the first time ever i have found it easier to get her back on track.

I find it so frustrating that you think you have solved the problem and then it does reappear - and in our case it is not sickness or teeth. I think our problem was due to the fact that we left her with my parents for two saturday nights in a row cause we had functions on. And this was in our house and only for the night and it stilled caused her to be disrupted.

Perservere, with training your baby it will hopefully get easier to settle again if you do get 'bumps' in the road.

I have to say this week has been trying but she is getting on track again which has allowed me a couple of naps in the daytime which i love cause i have the flu at the moment.

Offline salvia

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« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2005, 14:27:01 pm »
I have a one year old dd, and I have really struggled with PUPD.  I first tried it when she was 10 months old, as she was waking up several times a night for a feed.  It took a full month to get it down to once a night, then it crept back up to twice a night.  Then she started teething and it's all gone out the window! :cry:   After a year of interrrupted sleep I'm too exhausted to persevere with any kind of sleep training!  I get depressed too, and sometimes feel angry, but we have no help, no babysitters, and my husband works 24 hour sleep in shifts.  Our dd is mostly a spirited baby, she doesn't like to miss anything, and would keep going until she fell asleep standing up, if she could.  I have found PUPD helpful for getting her to go to sleep in her cot at night, and it did work for naps, for a while, but now she sleeps even less.  Typically, there's rarely more than 11 hours, from her going to bed to getting up, and she'll wake from two to four times, up to seven times if ill or teething.  After I discovered BW I managed to get her to sleep for an hour in the morning and half an hour in the afternoon, before that it was two half hour naps, now she'll have one nap, of 40 min to one hour, and it's difficult to put her down for that without feeding her.  I've found that since I've had dd, I've felt depressed when I've been really exhausted and not had a break, broken sleep messes with your brain.  I'm wary of the label PPD, as it implies there's something wrong with you, when in fact it's a natural reaction to complete exhaustion and overload.  The problem is modern society, we live in small families, without strong communities.  In the past we would have had a big extended family to help.  I come from a small family, so I', trying to create my own extended family of friends, so we can support each other.  Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get it off my chest and it's good to know I'm not the only one struggling with this.  I'm lucky she's so cheerful in the day and so loveable, that's what keeps me going. :)   I think BW ideas are great, I just wish I'd come across her sooner, before dd got into habits.



Offline marlowho

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« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2005, 00:35:41 am »
Hang in there ladies!!!
Yes I agree about our culture and our need for more support.  It makes me sad a lot of times too.
We're all here to support each other though.
(((HUGS))))
-Marlo, mommy to
Madeline Marie (3/9/03)
Noel Julienne (5/25/05)
Eloise Anne (8/3/09)

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Offline salvia

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« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2005, 15:15:03 pm »
Thanks Marlo

Yes you're right, talking to you all on this forum is great support :D



Offline kendallnangie

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« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2005, 05:47:50 am »
I sent you a PM...
I can second tylersmommy.
I have laughed a lot at just the thought of this whole thing being called EASY....I have to say that it has been a great challenge in my life....I don't think anyone has ever said that raising a baby IS easy but in my estimations, doing it the BW way is going to be as easy as it gets. I would much rather have the battles of dealing with milestones, teething, illness,etc... that sort of thing on occasion, than to have to EVERYDAY deal with a child who cannot sleep and needs constant attention, without learning any sort of independance....Don't get me wrong, my goal isn't to get them out of my face, I just want them to learn to feel secure enough to sleep without me and play without me.( by that I mean, let me put the baby down without her losing it :wink: ) I don't think this could have been accomplished with Tracy's methods. It does in fact take work but, if you want something done well, it will take some work :D
I have 2 successful stories!
HTH, angie