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Author Topic: How long should I let my baby scream??  (Read 4037 times)

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Offline Kayna

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2005, 18:55:55 pm »
It took dd around 55 min. the 1st time (cried for about 20 minutes of that) and around 25 min for the 2nd and 3rd times. Now every once in a while I still need to go and lay my hand on her but it takes under 10 minutes.

I've had her on easy since she was 2 weeks old and have done pat/shhh and  promoted falling asleep on her own since birth. So she really just kind of needed a refresher course. I know that most babies would take longer than that to really have it start working.
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Offline chark

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #16 on: October 27, 2005, 08:24:55 am »
So what exactly do you do? Just literally press your hand gently but firmly on her chest and leave it there for the whole 55 minutes. Do you say anything? Do you do anything different when she starts going crazy? Do you ever pick up because when I do it seems to make it ten times worse.
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Offline chark

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #17 on: October 27, 2005, 08:26:09 am »
SORRY! Just reread your post - you said "use my voice to soothe her." I'll try that today. I've been wary of talking to him because he seems asleep but crying so didn't want to wake him even more.
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Offline Kayna

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2005, 14:21:51 pm »
I only use my voice, "It's okay, I know you're just tired and mommy is here to help you get to sleep" when she is full fledge crying. If it's a mantra cry I just keep my hand on her chest because my voice starts to disturb her at that point. I do keep my hand on her the entire time until she's asleep (now I can leave when she just starts to drift because she feels safe). I don't ever pick her up because it makes it worse (she arches her back and screams louder). I don't fight her though and just talk gently through the cries.

At first it didn't make a difference but now that I've been consistant she calms right now with my voice and a hand on her chest.

It makes it all worth it when she's just about in dreamland and she's looking at me all calm and I just know she feels safe and secure. I can't imagine how scary it would be for her crying all alone. :cry: You're doing great. Keep it up and you'll be home free very soon. :wink: It's hard to figure our lo out but such a good feeling when you do. :)
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Offline chark

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #19 on: October 28, 2005, 13:29:31 pm »
Okay. Thanks. I'll keep trying. I keep caving in and when he goes mental, I pick him up. He just slept for 45 then woke, when he started crying (rather than grumbling) i went in and put my hand on. Ended up picking him up twice but ...oh god I was going to say I thought he went back to sleep but I can hear him. Damn. Gotta go. This is sooooooo unbelievably hard.
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Offline Kayna

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #20 on: October 28, 2005, 14:27:57 pm »
Oh don't get me wrong. If picking him up soothes him by all means do so. I don't because it does the opposite for dd. It is called pu/pd but you can modifiy it to make it work for you.

Just remember with pu/pd.....if lo is crying pick him up but only until he stops crying and then place him back in his crib. Even if he starts crying again on the way back down, fully place him down and then pick him back up.

Pu/pd takes a lot of work and dedication because it could take 100 times of picking up but it does pay off in the long run if you're consistant.

I'm not really the expert on pu/pd but happen to have just gone through it. So if you want some better advice you may want to visit the pu/pd board. There are some fabulous mod's there. Good luck and be patient. :)
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Offline chark

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #21 on: October 28, 2005, 16:50:45 pm »
It does soothe him (usually) but then he seems even more upset when I put him down again. I'm sure it prolongs it. I just feel I'm being inconsistent. Maybe I should just stick to the hand and voice thing - at least he knows what to expect. It's all very well me being upset about his crying but I need to be fair to him and consistency is the best way...it is just really, really hard. I've failed three times today to get him back to sleep. Each time, I tried for an hour. Has been the same all week apart from once when he found his thumb and that worked a treat. Have used dummies in the past but they just fall out and he gets furious.
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Offline Kayna

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #22 on: October 28, 2005, 17:51:24 pm »
You're doing great and yes consistency is key. Might I suggest introducing a lovey? DD would not take a pacifier but absolutely loves her blanket bear.
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Offline Kayna

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #23 on: October 28, 2005, 17:53:59 pm »
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Offline chark

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2005, 10:21:48 am »
OH MY GOD. SUCCESS, SUCCESS, SUCCESS. My husband put him down on Saturday at 9am and he SLEPT FOR TWO HOURS. I was so happy and yet so worried that I couldn't do it. Failed to get back after 45 mins on Saturday afternoon but then on Sunday, I tried and I got him to sleep for TWO HOURS at 9am and then TWO HOURS at 1pm. He grizzled every 45 minutes but nothing serious and I didn't have to go in. Yesterday was tricky due to swimming lessons ( http://www.waterbabies.co.uk ) but today he has been asleep for an hour and a half with only one grizzle (no intervention.)

NO DUMMIES, no radio, no pram, no rocking. Aha hahahahahah. I am so happy. He was such a happy little baby yesterday. I am FINALLY starting to enjoy my maternity leave because my baby is happy.  He still screams occasionally when I put him down but I usually only have to pick him up once or twice.

He also found his thumb which has helped enormously.

Thanks for your help!
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Offline fleadle

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How long should I let my baby scream??
« Reply #25 on: November 01, 2005, 11:08:44 am »
Since reading all the responses to your question & feeling totally guilty about leaving my LO to CIO (DH's preferred method!) I decided to change my ways & look after my LO the way I WANT TO....no matter what he says! & go with my mothering instinct.

I have persevered with patting / shhh to sleep & she seems happier & falls asleep a little quicker.....& I am A LOT HAPPIER!!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE!! :P
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