27 mths - eating problems

[mcruari]

Hello to all! I'm new to this so please excuse no abbreviations etc.
My daughter, Clarissa, is just not interested in food. She has always been spoon fed by her g-mother for fear of her choking and seeing as I am a working mum and have little time I found myself carrying on with this method. She seems to like meat and will eat ham, a chicken or veal steak quite happily on her own. The other things she eats is pieces of fruit, bread and bread sticksraw carrots and pizza.  I admit I tend to force feed her  :evil: and this leads to tantrums and horrific meal times!
She has just started nursery and when she was presented with food she literally threw a wobbler. Although things seems to be getting a little better at nursery, she doesn't really seem to want to eat anything in particular. I basically wish she had an appetite! She is a healthy child (not chubby nor particulary slim) and tall for her age.
I would really appreciate some advice as yesterday I just lost my rag, and that doesn't help either :oops:
P.S. Nursery and slight cold seems to have interupted sleeping too - any suggestions?

Thanks

Sinead

[Poppy & Lily]

Hi sinead,

At this age kids tend to get fussy about their foods my dd is 26mths old and recently went through a stage of only eating toast :shock:, i would carry on with what you are doing the fact that she will eat certain foods is great i would be worried if she didn't eat anything at all.  Most kids will refuse a new food around 30 times before they try it :roll: .  I would perhaps slowly introduce new things and if she doesn't want them then no big deal try again in a few days, i wouldn't try to force the issue as this could cause other eating problems.

I think at this age it is all about being consistent and persistent, she is just testing the boundries and discovering things for herself.  If you have reall worries about her eating then perhaps speak to your doctor about it, but like i said she is eating certain foods like meats and fruits so i wouldn't panic too much, she will eventually grow out of it.

HTH

[mcruari]

Poppy-pop,

thanks - guess I just needed some confirmation!!
really appreciated.

Sinead

[Tamara]

Hi there - I agree with what Poppy-Pop said.

I think the ABSOLUTELY worst thing that you could possibly do is to 'force-feed' her - just think about how you would like it if a much larger, stronger person than yourself would 'force' you to eat something you didn't like.  And i really don't think that will make her eat the food - it will just make her anxious about mealtimes and scared of you even possibly?

Try looking at her food intake over a whole week instead of a day - some days will always be poor, the next she will/might make up for it.  She seems to be eating a little of most food groups, so be ahppy about that.  She will become more adventurous as she grows older.  Continue to offer new foods alongside foods that she currently eats.  If she doesn't eat them, no big deal, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD - try and remember that.

I know it's hard - I have a VERY fussy 2.5 year old.  I just go with the flow and try and make sure she doesn't have too much junk food, sugar or salt in the foods that she DOES like to eat, and not let her have cereal for every meal every day, whcih she would have most days if she could!  :roll:

Let us know how you get on

[mcruari]

Tamara,
thanks for your reply too.
Yesterday evening was another trauma. Even before she sees what there is to eat she says "no dinner, no dinner". That just makes me fly off the rails! The thing is, if I can get her distracted with something she will generally eat (with me feeding her) what is in her plate, so I know it is not because she doesn't like the food. She has such a strong personality and is so stubborn (alas, she inherited that from mummy) that it is just a fact of her making her point and standing her ground - but she is bearly 2.5yrs!! I thought I'd be able to cope no problem with the terrible twos, but it looks like I'm not strong enough :cry:  :shock:
Should I just let her eat ham, chicken, bread and fruit every day. Should I give her what she would like first and then what I would like? I am presently doing the opposite. I mean I heard from kindergarten yesterday that she tried omlette!! I really don't know how far to go with getting her to try to eat what we eat at the table.
Any suggestions would be fab.

thanks

[Tamara]

To me - it sounds like meal times are already a big issue with her given that she starts shouting 'no dinner' immediately.

I really think you need to concentrate on removing the anxiety and frustration that is surrounding mealtimes at your house.  If you can do that, and DD becomes more calm and relaxed about the whold thing - you have much more of a chance that she will eat new things, she is anxious about it all, because she is scared of the threats (if you don't eat this, you don't get pudding, or similar things) the 'force' feeding (which will get you absolutely nowhere, stop that now) and the fact that mummy gets upset with her.  Mealtimes are a BIG deal now.

If she eats some chicken, bread and fruit, what's SO wrong with that?? There's proetein, carbohydrate and fruit there, can't be all that bad can it?

What were your eating habits as a child?  Did you try everything your parents gave you?  what happened when you didn't like something?  I think you need to look at this and try and work out why it's so important that she eats 'X' food TODAY for you!!! 

Toddlers often go through phases of just eating a ceratin food, but yours is eating several, so there's no cause for concern. 

I'd serve one thing you know she'll eat alongside something new just so she gets used to it over time.  She might not even try it for AGES, but IT DOESN'T MATTER - please try to remember that.

You say your DD is not fat - excellent  , and neither is she skinny    - so where's all this concern coming from??  If she's healthy and growing, try your best not to get wound up by it all.   She's not doing it to spite you, she's just a toddler.  She won't starve herself either, if that's a concern of yours.

I hope you can hear what I'm saying and believe it - no harm will come to her if she doen't try every new food and never clears her plate - I am living proof of that.

HTH a little, post abck if you want to ask anything further ok?

[mcruari]

Tamara,
I know that's what I have to do - I don't threaten her at mealtimes at all but I clearly remember my mother doing it to us when we were young(er) saying that she had worked hard to present that meal and that we were ungrateful if we didn't finish it all (how times have changed, thankfully). Is this probably why I try to insist?!?
I promise I won't do the following at meal times:
- raise my voice
- argue
- plead her to eat
- make her stay seated at the table

I needed a good telling off!! thanks for that. :oops:  :cry:
I'll let you know how we get on.

P.S. I think she is definitely testing our boundaries as she has just started kindergarten so maybe this is contributing too??!!

[Tamara]

Oh!  I didn't really mean to sound like I was telling you off - honestly!

I know you're only trying to get her to eat a healthy varied diet, but perhaps in the wrong way. 

Well, you seem to have taken my comments well, even if I did sound very stern  :wink:

I approve very much of your 4 'I won'ts'  Try to stick to them, and by all means come back here for more support/help, that is if I'm not too scary  :shock:  :wink:   

I'd love to know how things go with you over the next week or so.

Godd luck!

[mcruari]

Tamara,
well first evening went well. She asked for pizza so that's what she got and nearly ate all of it - just left a few crusts for mum&dad to eat! We had no cross words and she slept all night from 9.00 pm to 7.10 this morning, something she hasn't been doing recently :shock:  :shock:
Please don't say sorry, it's what I needed!
I'll keep you posted.

Sinead