Need help getting started-nap issues in older baby (long)

[neujen72]

My son is 10 months old.  We've always had trouble at naptime - getting to sleep and staying asleep.  Since buying the books, I've learned that part of the problem is not knowing how to handle his temperment (spirited or touchy in terms of sleep, but not necessarily in other aspects like eating or activity), and therefore resorting to props (rocking and bottles at naptime).  Nighttime sleep is pretty good.  He goes down either with his bottle or if still awake after his bottle, he can get himself to sleep after playing for a while.  He rarely cries at bedtime - but we've also had a good bedtime routine in place since around 3 months.  He sleeps for 10-11 hours straight and so far we haven't had trouble with night waking.  Naptime is another story and I need to learn how to fix it because he's visibly tired (and cranky) during the day yet, takes very short naps and is very hard to get down and wakes up crying.  We're weaning to a sippy cup (which he's doing great with) so he hasn't been getting bottles at naptime anymore (for a couple weeks).  I think he might need a better winddown routine to help him settle in, but I don't know what's appropriate for his age.  I do usually close his shade and turn on light classical music at naptime, but swaddling and shushing/patting at 10 months are not going to work.  Any ideas for his age?  Can I do some rocking until he's settled down (he usually starts crying when the shades close or when the rocking starts), or is that too stimulating?  I'm guessing most days at naptime he's either overtired/overstimulated (I need to work at reading his cues better too). Other ideas?  Also, his two naps used to be 45 minutes and have recently shortened to 20-30 minutes, with longer (60-90 minutes) happening sporatically.  I think I need to pu/pd to lengthen them.  Again, how do I do this for his age?  If he's crying, do I stay with him until he stops (not making eye contact)?  Do I maintain physical contact the whole time?  In what manner?  A firm hand on him somewhere?  He does fight and push me away frequently if I'm holding him while trying to soothe at naptime so I'm guessing most of the time, he'll be not held.  His daily routine is something like this:

Wake between 5-6 am and have a bottle at that point
7:00 breakfast (he's a great eater and does mostly tablefood for all meals)
9:00 naptime
Formula after nap (in a sippy usually - was at naptime until a couple weeks ago)
11:30 lunch
1:00 naptime
Formula after nap (used to be at naptime until a couple weeks ago)
3:00-3:30 snack and a bit of formula or water
5:00 dinner
6:30-7:00 start bedtime routine which includes bottle.  Usually sleeping by 7:00

If you've stayed with me this long, you're a saint!  I tried to be thorough to eliminate follow up questions, however if I haven't covered something, please let me know.  I'm optimistic about this approach (I've tried several other books with no luck as they don't address the temperment part).  Please help me set my expectations in terms of how long it might take to see results.

Thanks for any insight or experience you can offer.  I just want my baby to be well-rested so we can enjoy his otherwise happy, smiley personality and teriffic giggle again!

Jenny
Mommy to Sam 12/18/04

[Meg's Mom]

Hi Jenny and welcome,

I have printed your post and will have a think then come back to you in a bit.

Hang in there!

[julieb]

Doesn't sound like your nap wind down routine is very long?  Or maybe it's too long and he's already past the point of no return.  Like you guessed, you may need to watch those cues and then start wind down earlier.  With my LO, he'd start to cry when I turned off the lights (this was back when he was 3 mths though), so I started leaving the lights on during wind down (I rock and sing for 5 minutes with luvie).  He'd calm down and start sucking his thumb, so then I could swaddle (now sleep sack), turn off the lights, and then rock & sing again for 15-20 seconds.  This acts more like a cue than anything else.  If I hold him for any longer during the second part, he's already halfway to dreamland and that's too late to put him down.  So I do it really quick and in the crib he goes.

On PU/PD, can he stand in the crib?  If so, wait for him to sit or stand up, then PD.  Like you said, holding will prolly just irritate him more because he's tired and trying to settle himself.  You can try putting a hand on him, shushing, or whatever else you do to soothe while he's in the crib to try to get him to stop crying.  Eventually he'll either loose steam and go back to sleep or it'll be time to get up.  Just FYI though, PU/PD doesn't work with my LO to extend anymore (don't know why), but maybe you'll have better luck or can try wake to sleep as well.  I only do it for 45 min or until the next feed time, depending on how he's doing with it.

Hope that gives you some ideas to start with!

[Meg's Mom]

A few more tips for you:
-Nwd: we do diaper change (at which point she rubs her eyes), close blind, turn on sound machine, sit in rocker and read 1 book.  If she won't sit and fights me I put her straight to crib and say nap time honey, good night!

-PD: I put her down, if she gets up I do this a few times - once she stays down and is calm, I pat for a minute and say nap time honey, good night, then leave.  If she won't stay down after a few tries, I put down one last time and say nap time, good night and leave.  If she is upset (not just moaning or forcing it, but the very upset cry) I wait 1 min, go back in and repeat.

Lastly, stick w/ it - it takes 2-3 weeks to re-set an infants bio-rhythms - but you should start to see some improvements before that.

Good luck, hope this helps.