Author Topic: New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!  (Read 2311 times)

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Offline debandbrian

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« on: October 26, 2005, 14:34:55 pm »
Just discovered baby whisperer...wish I'd heard of it months ago! I have read Tracy's 1st book and every inch of this forum, have not been able to get my hands on a copy of the newer book but I need help with naps!
We made every accidental parenting mistake with our 6-mo-old regarding sleep...co-sleeping when we really didn't want to, allowing to nurse to sleep on demand, allowing to nap on our chests/in snuggli or swing. I really want to un-do the wrongs and get into an EASY routine.
Perhaps some important info to share is that he was born a bit early and is small for his age - just over 14 lbs now - so I have always been nervous about denying him time at the breast. He also has the first tooth peeping through but it hasn't seemed to bother him too much.
We transitioned nighttime sleep to crib at 3 mos, and at 5 1/2 mos when he'd reverted to demanding nursing every 2-3 hours at night, we followed Ferber method of weaning nighttime feeding and did the CIO (before we heard of BW!!). This worked well and now he sleeps from about 8:30 pm to 7 am with one feeding around 5. I am not sure if this early am feeding is necessary or counterproductive - and I know he needs more nighttime sleep as he shows signs of sleepiness before 9 am. I worry however that he'll need a 3 or 4 am feeding if I make bedtime earlier. I also thought I might not bother with this until after we change our clocks this weekend.
The CIO method was completely unsuccessful for naps, though, which led me to BW. I have been focusing just on getting him to nap in the crib and it's been fairly successful with an hour or so nap in the morning and 2 shorter ones later in the day - will work on increasing those later -  but he still needs to nurse. My husband can get him to sleep with just rocking, but he is not here during the day.
So today for the first time I tried to eliminate the breastfeeding. Since he is 6-months I followed the advice in Tracy's interview - had some quiet time then put him in the crib and maintained contact. He started to cry right away and I kept contact except for a few seconds to get a chair because I started to tire.  The crying never changed/subsided, and was accompanied by kicking legs and scooching to the top of the crib where he was bumping his head. After 25 mins of constant crying I picked him up, and after just a few minutes of flailing and tugging I nursed him. It was worse than CIO because not only did I have to hear the crying, I had to see it too! I felt terrible. I put him in the crib asleep and he slept 20 mins. I was so upset when he woke that I picked him up and nursed him to sleep twice, but he work both times upon being put in the crib, and when he smiled at me I figured the window of opportunity had passed. He's now playing on his mat on the floor next to me as I type!
I just don't know where to go from here - how long to stand over/sit next to his crib while he cries or if there is something else I should be doing.  I want him to be well-rested and I am in desperate need of some of that time for myself that should be happening at naptime!
Thanks for reading the long message - and in advance for any welcome advice!  ~ Deb



Offline allyson

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2005, 17:07:27 pm »
I used to nurse my 5 month old to sleep and the way I broke it was bringing her up to unwind before she got overtired and instead of rocing her in the chair where I used to breastfeed her I hold her tight cradle hold and place a pacifier in her mouth and hold her against me. I then walk her gently around the room or move in place. she has not needed to nurse for 3 days now. huge improvement. I suggest getting out of the chair you used to do it in. that is what worked for me. good luck

Offline Meg's Mom

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2005, 22:04:56 pm »
Hi and Welcome

I have moved you the Breastfeeding forum.

I am glad allyson was able to help, she gave you some good ideas.

I think you will get better support in BF'ing then in the naps forum.  Also there are helpful announcements in the Breastfeeding forum on this topic, so have a look there too.

Offline Meg's Mom

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2005, 22:07:04 pm »
I just wanted to add, There will be tears, but that is to expected as you are changing the rules.  It is like she is saying "hey, this isn't how we do things - I don't know what to do here!"

But you will need to be strong and be consistent for her to learn the new way of doing things.

So hang in there!

Offline sadiebean

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2005, 22:34:35 pm »
Hi Deb,
I'm on Day 3 of EASY for my baby, to help him nap on his own, and have made good progress breaking the nurse-to-sleep habit for the most part. However, I do still nurse him to console him if needed, and I think it will work:

The first day was horrible, and I was learning on the fly -- trying to get him to sleep, then checking these posts for info in between and re-reading Tracy's sleep interview, literally. He slept for 4 naps, 2 were 45 minutes, 2 were 25 minutes. And there was way "too much" crying for my stomach and heart.

I decided that hysterical crying was not OK for us, and things got better on Day 2. I simply end the "sessions" when he gets to the inconsolable point. I was able to get him down for both a morning and afternoon nap with ssh/pat (he cannot tollerate pu/pd) and no inconsolable tears.

Today, Day 3, he took 2 naps, each for over an hour. I was able to settle him with shh/pat but then able to stop altogether -- including removing my hand -- before he fell all the way asleep! He settled himself the rest of the way.

And if he screams inconsolably? I take him out of the crib and bring him downstairs. Depending on what he needs at the time, I have either just ended the nap and moved to quiet awake time, or nursed him downstairs to soothe him. I have done this 3 times, and I don't think it's causing any regression. The two times I nursed him, I then had to walk upstairs -- and made sure he woke a bit in the meantime -- to put him into bed, still requiring that he settle himself.

So long story long: based on my limited experience, I would suggest going ahead and nursing him when he just can't console himself... but 1) do it outside of his room, and 2) wake him up a bit before placing him in his crib.

Good luck!! (to all of us  :wink: )
Ann



Offline GraceKellysmom

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2005, 01:05:12 am »
This is really more of a sleep issue than a breastfeeding issue. But I hate to move your post again!

I agree with the previous poster about disassociating the breast from sleep. If you continue to nurse near nap time, just make sure he doesn't nurse to sleep. Have a couple minutes of quiet time, do your nap routine, and go to sleep. Slowly move the nursing up earlier and earlier as he tolerates it.

And with anything, don't try to make too many changes at once. That is Tracy's big thing and I completely agree! If you were co-sleeping for naps, then work the crib first and then work on the nursing. Stuff like that.

Lastly, please do whatever works best for *your* family. There are many different methods of doing things, and parental choices, and you have to choose what you can live with, and what is best for your baby.
Stacy, Mama to
Grace Kelly 01/03, Maximilian Alexander 07/04, Faith Noelle 03/07, Henry Patrick 12/08
and my angel babies

Offline Meg's Mom

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2005, 01:18:50 am »
Oh darn, sorry deb - i moved it to the wrong place.

Grace-kellys mom - maybe props would have been more appropriate

...regardless i think you have given excellent advice!

this may also be helpful deb although it applies to a dummy the concept is the same (replace dummy for breast):
http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/gradual-weaning-process-recommended-for-young-infant-vt2361.html

Now you have a few ideas, good luck!  Let us know how you get on.

Offline debandbrian

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2005, 20:45:02 pm »
Thank you all for the words of advice and encouragement. I decided after yesterday's crying that I would tackle only one thing at a time - eliminating the breast and falling asleep independently in the crib are really two different issues, so today I just worried about eliminating the breast. When we went in for his first nap I sat in the glider and he started to put up a real fight when he realized he wasn't going to nurse. So I put him to sleep while I was standing - rocking and sort of humming - it took about 15 minutes. He woke after 30 mins so I put him back to sleep standing again - a little more fussing and it took another 15 mins.  He slept for 40 minutes so total time was 70 mins. I did the same thing for his second nap and he fought a lot less. Still woke after 30 mins - we will work on that one after the falling asleep on his own!! - so I repeated the whole thing again and he fell asleep quickly and slept another 30 mins. Now my husband has just gotten home, he (the lo, not my dh!!) looked sleepy again so my husband just put him down no problem.
I don't know how long he'll need this third nap, but I figure he's sleep deprived from all the naps he's missed along the way!!
So I am feeling a lot better - 4 times of me putting him to sleep today and no breast!! We'll work on the other stuff in a few days time...
So those having the same (or worse) nap issues, hang in there.
Deb



Offline Meg's Mom

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2005, 21:52:56 pm »
Awesome!

I think once you find you get him to where he can fall asleep indpendently the short naps should go away.

You are doing great  :wink:

Offline GraceKellysmom

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New to Baby Whisperer..help eliminate nursing at naptime!!
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2005, 00:58:46 am »
My ds still had a third "catnap" until maybe 8-9 months old. HTH and sounds like he had a great day!
Stacy, Mama to
Grace Kelly 01/03, Maximilian Alexander 07/04, Faith Noelle 03/07, Henry Patrick 12/08
and my angel babies