Some sleep issues, please help me!

[proudmum]

I've also posted this in the Naps forum, wasn't sure what would be best as I'm covering a few sleep issues!

I'm having a few troubles with my lo and would appreciate some advice. First thing is the 45 min naps, I've been doing the wake to sleep method for a couple of weeks now and haven't seen much improvement - is this normal? Or do you think I'm doing something wrong. (I follow the example in Tracy's sleep interview) I normally do manage to get him back to sleep, but it always takes at least 20 min.

Also he uses a dummy and I think it has now become a prop. I try to withhold it when he wakes, but then he gets upset and cries and wakes himself up even more. I give it to him and it soothes him straight away. I;m just worried that I'm causing more trouble for myself. but I don't know if I should be trying to 'wean' him off it, or use it less. Any suggestions on how to do this?

He is pretty much sleeping through the night, he has a DF at around 10:30 and wakes at about 5:30 - 6:30am. Bedtime is a bit of an issue. I put him down for a nap at around 5pm, but this for him turns into a sleep and he never wakes up after 45 min (typical isn't it, when you want them to nap they don't and vice versa  ) what I try and do is wake him after an hour, sometimes less, sometimes more. Then we have bath, dinner and bed time. but Ihaven't managed to find a time / routine that really works yet. When he;s woken, he's often upset, and cries through his bath - which isn't much fun for anyone.

(sorry this is so long!) last night he went to sleep at 5pm which I thought would just be a cat nap. we woke him at about 6:30, had bath and a feed and then back to bed. He screamed throughout the bath and getting dressed and then was wide awake after his feed. DH did DF at about 10:30, but DS woke up 3 times during the night and I had to spend at least 15 min resettling him each time. Do you think this was because he slept too long before bedtime?

Apologies again for the length of this! Hopefully you have some thoughts / advice / idea's for me.

Thanks

[branwen]

I'm having a few troubles with my lo and would appreciate some advice. First thing is the 45 min naps, I've been doing the wake to sleep method for a couple of weeks now and haven't seen much improvement - is this normal? Or do you think I'm doing something wrong. (I follow the example in Tracy's sleep interview) I normally do manage to get him back to sleep, but it always takes at least 20 min.

have you tried the pat/shhh?  you might see better results.

Also he uses a dummy and I think it has now become a prop. I try to withhold it when he wakes, but then he gets upset and cries and wakes himself up even more. I give it to him and it soothes him straight away. I;m just worried that I'm causing more trouble for myself. but I don't know if I should be trying to 'wean' him off it, or use it less. Any suggestions on how to do this?

not sure if I'm the best to give advice on the pacifier as I have personally never dealt with it but from my experience on reading around here it's best to just go cold turkey.  you can also make it part of wind down...some mom's have had some luck with this.  withholding and then giving in though is probably confusing him so if you want him to stop using it I'd stick with that.

He is pretty much sleeping through the night, he has a DF at around 10:30 and wakes at about 5:30 - 6:30am. Bedtime is a bit of an issue. I put him down for a nap at around 5pm, but this for him turns into a sleep and he never wakes up after 45 min (typical isn't it, when you want them to nap they don't and vice versa  ) what I try and do is wake him after an hour, sometimes less, sometimes more. Then we have bath, dinner and bed time. but Ihaven't managed to find a time / routine that really works yet. When he;s woken, he's often upset, and cries through his bath - which isn't much fun for anyone.

I dealt with this same issue for a long time!  what we ended up doing was putting to bed early- like at 5:30.  it worked for us for a long time until just recently when she was able to extend more into the evening.  I would suggest if you are going to wake him to do it at the 45 min mark just because that is when he is naturally transitioning and it might startle less.  What I would also do is perhaps you could offer a little dinner before the bath so he isn't so hungry waiting for it. 

(sorry this is so long!) last night he went to sleep at 5pm which I thought would just be a cat nap. we woke him at about 6:30, had bath and a feed and then back to bed. He screamed throughout the bath and getting dressed and then was wide awake after his feed. DH did DF at about 10:30, but DS woke up 3 times during the night and I had to spend at least 15 min resettling him each time. Do you think this was because he slept too long before bedtime?

I think he is telling you he wants his bedtime earlier...I know it is early!! Trust me!!!  But my dd was so much happier when we started doing bedtime earlier.  What you can try to do is start the bedtime routine at 5pm...so 5pm is bath, then dinner and bed.

Experiment and see if he makes it to the df! You might be surprised!!

Apologies again for the length of this! Hopefully you have some thoughts / advice / idea's for me.

No problem!  This is what we are here for

[proudmum]

Hi Branwen,

Thanks so much for your informative reply!  I do the pat/sssh to resettle him after the 45 min naps, although he actually prefers just the shhh. 

Good idea about the little dinner before bath, I'll try that tonight.  And also waking him at 45 min instead of later.  But I might try the earlier bedtime and see what happens - it does seem really early to me that's why I haven't tried it before.  THat's why it's so good to know others have been through the same thing! 

Last night I tried the opposite, to keep him up a bit longer and skip that late catnap, which didn't go down well at all!  He was miserable during his bath and barely had much dinner before I put him to bed.  The night was a disaster then, he woke every couple of hours (after the DF) and happily played until I resettled him back to sleep.  You live and learn don't you?  So tonight we'll try the earlier routine and see how it goes. 

Thanks again for taking the time to read my loooong message!

[branwen]

Oh yes! We were on a 5:30 to 5:30 routine for a long time.  Everyone thought I was nuts but I think it was my dd's natural bio-clock.  Once I started listening to that bedtime got a lot easier.  She really wanted that 12 hrs too.  It sounds like your little guy is doing the same- waking around 5:30-6.

Sometimes she would cry all through the bath-it was so sad and then cry while we were getting dressed, etc. I think it was because she really wanted to be sleeping and was hungry- so when she woke from her last nap she would be up about 30-45 min and then I would start the bedtime routine.

Sometimes pat/shh was too stimulating for my dd too.  We started pu/pd around 14/15 weeks to get her to extend naps.  What temperament do you feel your son is?  My lo is touchy so I would place just the hand with a little pressure and no patting, eventually I would be able to remove the hand.

[proudmum]

Hi again,

I wanted to try the earlier sleep last night, but we had guests and I was out most of the day so it just didn't work out - I'm going to retry tonight. 

My ds is a textbook / angel baby, so he's pretty easy.  I did give him a little food before his bath last night, which worked really well, but he was definately ready to go to bed straight after his feed though. 

We'll see how we go this weekend with earlier bedtime.  He does wake up a couple of times a night though, and I wake up to hear him happily 'talking' to himself. After about 15 min I get up to resettle him which he does pretty easily.  Did you find this too?  I just wondered whether this meant he was getting to bed too early, or is it just that he wakes after a sleep cycle and doesn't get back to sleep?

[branwen]

Hi!  I was wondering how things were going!

Many babies wake throughout the night and talk to themselves but yes sometimes they don't know how to get back to sleep.  I would suggest not going to him unless he cries...see if he will babble himself back to sleep- my dd still "sings" herself back.  Also for my dd this became much less of an issue as she learned how to self sooth- (thumb sucking in 4th month).

I actually found that with the earlier bedtime she was more of a sound/deep sleeper (she is touchy so noise has been an issue) and slept longer stretches...

Let me know how the weekend went!! I'm happy to hear that a little food before bath made things easier on you!  Someone posted that suggestion to me when I was having "bath woes"- it's so nice to pass on the advice!