Sleep Guru Ladies - I need your help!

[Mariek]

Hi Ladies

I need some help on something – so where better to come than the fount of all sleep knowledge?! I know you ladies will have some answers/ideas for me.  :wink:

Grace has always been a great independent sleeper (she’s always self-soothed and has always gone straight down for naps and night-time sleep – even if she didn’t go straight to sleep she would entertain herself until she dropped off).

Well, the last 3 nights someone has replaced my angel independent sleeper with a monster!!  :evil: The first night she screamed and cried when I put her down. DH and I had to go in countless times, we tried extra milk, paracetamol, another story but she only finally settled at about 9.15pm (bedtime is usually around 6.45/7.00pm). The following night was slightly better although she did cry and we had to go in again but she when off by 8.15pm. Last night she cried and screamed again (I moved her bedtime slightly later last night – 7.15) and wouldn’t settle unless we were in the room. She eventually went off at 8.15ish but woke at 2.45AM (EEK!  :shock: ) crying again.

She’s completely happy when someone is in the room with her and last night I did a kind of “gradual withdrawal” thing – I stood right by the bed and just shhhh’d her when she whimpered, them I moved a bit closer to the door and shhhh’d if she cried, then closer to the door, then at the door with the door ajar, then outside the door with the door ajar, then finally closing the door (took about 2/3 minutes but it felt like about 20!!). That seemed to work (and I did the same again at 3am because she wouldn’t settle otherwise). I really don’t want to get into any bad “accidental parenting” habits just because I want to fix this quick. I am not going to leave her crying (obviously) and it’s a real sobbing cry she’s doing. 

I guess I’m wondering if:

1.   Doing the gradual withdrawal thing is the right thing to do here?

2.   Is this caused by:
a.   Getting her Molars (21 months would be around the right time I think?)
b.   Its too dark in her room now (she’s never had a night light and I don’t really want to introduce one if I can get away with it)
c.   She’s testing the boundaries to see what she can get away with
d.   She’s getting to the point where she doesn’t need a nap in the day
e.   Or she does need a nap but needs a later bedtime (she usually naps 1.5 hours and gets up in the morning around 7.30am)


This is a real shock to my system because we haven’t had to contend with sleep issues before so I’m sorry if it’s a bit waffly. Any ideas you have would be greatly appreciated.

Love

[Katet]

Marie just a quick comment, we did the gradual withdrawral method with great success a few times with Aiden.
Reasons...well don't think it is the nap issue, may be teeth, or testing boundaries (although I doubt that) Maybe more aware of what is going on & needing a bit of extra love & attention. Sometimes I wonder & 3-4days later the reason surfaces.

[Mariek]

Thanks Kate

I'm hoping its just going to be a one off anomally and that things will be back on track in a few days.

She does seem more aware of the fact that she's on her own in there  and seems comforted by the fact that we're in the room or knowing we haven't disappeared completely and are just downstairs.

I'll carry on with the gradual withdrawal as long as its working - I think I just wanted reassurance that that's an okay way to deal with it. Like I said, its new ground for us so I don't want to go screwing up the good practices we've established.

love

[elfin]

Marie,

I think you are doing the right thing by doing the gradual withdrawl.  Has anything at home changed, or any new activities started for her?  Sometimes they can be really sensitive to minor changes, and in turn can affect their sleep.

Sounds like you are doing really well though!!!

[Lana]

I think that you are handling it properly.  I would vote that she is getting molars if she hasn't got them already.  It really wacked Ewan out when he got his.

Good luck.

[Mariek]

I would vote that she is getting molars if she hasn't got them already.  It really wacked Ewan out when he got his.

The molars are looking like the most likely culprit at the moment - judging by the rosy red cheeks and finger chomping that was going on this afternoon.

It didn't take her quite so long to settle tonight (only 25 mins before I could finally close the door completely and come back downstairs) so hopefully we'll be back on track pretty quick.

Teeth have a lot to answer for! A pain coming and a pain going!  :roll:

love