Does wake to sleep have to be for every nap to work?

[tracefo]

I'm trying to extend my 15 week old daughter's naps.  I've been trying wake to sleep but if I do it for every nap I will be a prisoner in my own house.  I've committed to at least the first and third nap, will that be enough or will she be getting mixed messages?  And how long should I persist trying to get her back to sleep.  Sometimes she seems to drop off with a little help but doesn't go into a really deep sleep again even though I stay with her the whole time.  I find that if her soother falls out she wakes up.  Does that make it a prop?  She does 10-12 hours a night with it and the first 45 of naps with it. 
Lots of questions.  Thanks for any help.
Tracey

[Diego's Mama]

Are you using wake to sleep to teach her independent sleep for the first time?

How does she go down for naps?

Do you use pu/pd or pat/shh?

[tracefo]

She basically falls asleep on her own but can't seem to get past the 45 minute nap cycle except at night where she sleeps 10-12 hours without any intervention.  We've followed the EASY schedule since she was 5 days old and she has done very well except for the naps.  I'm following the wake to sleep post by Matthewsmommy where I put my hands on her and replace her soother etc...  But we had such a bad time of it yesterday, both of us frustrated and she was so miserable most of last night that today I decided only to commit to putting the soother back in her mouth when she woke up.  I don't want to hold her down anymore, it was making her very unhappy and any pick-ups just made her hysterical.  The pacifier replacement worked pretty well today although I don't know if she went back into any deep sleep but at least she isn't screaming tonight!

[Diego's Mama]

Well, I wonder if you're actually waking her up.

Skip the soother.  Go in around thirty minutes and lightly rub her tum or back.  Just enough to make her stir ever so slightly -- where maybe she turns her head in her sleep.  You want her to stay asleep, but by getting her to stir ever so slightly, you're breaking her sleep cycle and as she decends back into a deeper sleep will start another sleep cycle, hence lengthening the total nap.

[tracefo]

She usually falls asleep with a soother if I wake her up a bit do you think she will be able to fall back to sleep without it.  (I guess she does it at night)  I'll give it a try.  Thanks
Tracey

[Diego's Mama]

Hard to say, depends upon how dependent she is upon it.  I'd just gently touch her for a moment to see if you can't rouse her a wee bit, you just want the slightest response from her, you're not waking her fully at all.  With Emilio, I would rub his tummy once and then duck down in case he opened his eyes! Heheeee...

[tracefo]

Ok, Laura,
I tried to wake her at the 30 minute mark by rubbing her head.  She startled (didn't open her eyes) and settled down quite quickly (seemed to be back in a deep sleep) and then was awake 15 minutes later.  Hmmmmmmm.... so do I try getting her back to sleep?,  she's wide awake at this point or should I have stayed with her longer to make sure she was really still asleep or did I now wake her up enough to start with.  This is so confusing and frustrating.

[Diego's Mama]

Hmmm, have you tried extending her naps with pat/shh before?  Maybe she needs help transitioning between sleep cycles.  Perhaps observe for a few days and time exactly when she wakes.  If it's at the same time each nap, then go in five minutes before she's due to wake and use your settling technique (whatever works best for her). For some moms, they'd lay their hands on the child and that helped reassure them as they switched sleep cycles, some would do patting. 

How long is she awake before having a nap?  Sometimes overtired babies have a hard time staying asleep.

Do you use white noise?

[tracefo]

Hi Laura,
I don't use white noise and her  time between naps is generally 1.5 hours unless I see her yawning and then I start the 4 S's right away.  I've been thinking about my settling technique and I'm pretty sure it's the soother.  I don't want to wake her up by putting it in.  I'll try putting my hand on her or rubbing her forehead.
Thanks,
Tracey

[maricar]

hello... what are the 4 s's?  thanks

[tracefo]

Hi
It's a pre sleep routine that you do before every nap and bedtime.  I start with Setting the stage (for us it's a diaper change and pulling the blinds in her room), then Swaddle (which Tracy says to try not to do in the crib so we do it on my bed), Sitting (we sing and read stories for 5 minutes) and finally if it's needed pat Shush(we don't need to do that very often).  It's a way of letting your lo know that it's time to go to sleep.
Hope that's clear and helps.
Tracey

[Taylor's Mommy]

when you do go in at 30 minute mark, you usually have to stay for 20-30 minutes to get them fully into the next sleep cycle.  remember, 30 minutes is when they come out of deep sleep...40 minutes is the end of the sleep cycle and then it takes another 20 minutes to reach deep sleep of the next sleep cycle...so that is a total of 30 minutes.
yes, you do seem like a prisoner, but it will often work.

when you said 1.5 hours of A time at 15 weeks, it made me think maybe she is ready to move up A time just a bit, perhaps 1hour 45 minutes? 
Could you extend A time with very low calm activity?
Is she moving towards 4 hour easy yet?

[tracefo]

Hi Andrea,
Thanks for your reply.  I get that you need to stay with them but it seems that she's finally in a deep sleep after the 30 minutes sometimes 40 and she still does not stay asleep.  What am I supposed to do, keep my hand on her for the whole 40 minutes? 
I've just started to move her to the 4 hour easy.  It's tough though because she is sooo tired at the 1.5 hour mark.  Is that supposed to happen?  Also, should I try to extend the naps now or wait until we're on a 4 hour easy plan to see if that solves the problem?  I don't want to be implementing too many changes at one time, the poor child will think I've gone crazy!
Tracey

[KellyRobert]

The 4 S's are in Tracey's new book.  The 4 S's are used when putting your LO down to sleep: 1)Set the Stage: darken room, use same soothing words, turn on fan, etc. 2)Swaddle, 3)Sit (not rock!): cuddle, wind down baby w/o rocking or swaying, 4) Shh/Patt (if baby needs help settling).  Not sure if 4S's are listed anywhere else on message boards, but that has worked well for us and my 6 week old goes down for bed very well b/c of it.