Crying at bedtime until he vomits???

[gywong]

Our LO just turned one on October 24th. Thus far, We've been able to put him to bed at a regular time. It's late, but it's been regular, between 10-10:30pm. Despite all what everyone has said, it's been working fine.

Normally, I nurse him or feed him a bottle and then he falls asleep, before I put him in his cot. I know these are props, but ... anyway, I've tried a couple of times to put him in his cot while awake... esp when it gets really late past his usual bedtime...


A couple weeks ago, I tried to put him into bed awake, after going through the whole bedtime routine, bath, change, read, sing, even walking... and then to leave the room after a "nighty night" and a kiss... he'd start crying gently at first, and I was determined only to go in to do PU/PD or PD after 5 minutes depending on how desperate his cry was.

But, after 5 minutes I could hear him really crying like he does when he sounds scared, and I went in to find him sweating all the way down his arms... I picked him up out of his cot, and he vomited --- not once, but 3 times...

Tonight, I tried it again, and again, after about 3 minutes, his crying was so bad and I could hear him coughing... and as I had expected, he had worked himself up to a state where he vomited again!

Has anyone ever experienced this? Could he really be making himself vomit? Is it separation anxiety? Fear? Just frustration at a change in routine couldn't cause this, could it?

The strange thing is... right after I clean him (and me) up, and take him out of his room to read again, he seems to have forgotten everything!

What to do?

[jessica and emilys mummy]

As you've said,people have said to you about the bedtime,but I seriously would try to bring that down.
I would try sitting next to the cot shhhing for a while until he falls asleep.It may be worth having an air bed in their for a few nights (or as long as it takes) and gradually move closer to the door until he can sleep alone.
If you haven't already got BW solves All Your Problems,then I would give it a go.
You may find that by going out of the room even for 3/5 minutes he does go through some kind of sep anx.As for the vomiting,my dd#2 did this because she thought she could get a cuddle out of it,and she did.
in the end I changed her bedclothes and pj's in silence while she was in the cot (sounds impossible but is quite easy) and started again.

I have to tell you,everything you are going through,I have been through,it's exhausting and upsetting and I send you all the HUGS I can :wink:

Please let me know his routine and we can go from there.

[Katet]

Can I ask how you would feel if you suddenly found yourself all alone in a country you didn't speak the language & had no map or guide book? I know I would feel so anxious I might end up vomitting.... my guess is that is how your lo feels with the "rule" changes

Now if you were there say with someone you really trusted (like your parents) & a map & a guidebook, I'm guessing you'd still find it stressful, but not to the point of feeling sick about it.

So you need to be there to support him through this change, he is used to calming down by drinking, he can only learn to calm down with your help... sure he will eventually go to sleep if you leave him alone... but it will be through exhaustion & the feeling of abanonment. If you help him along the whole way he will learn from a loving mother & it will only strengthen the bond you have with him... yes it will be hard & yes it will be frustrating... but think about how long it took before he could sit or crawl... it didn't happen overnight & him falling asleep is a skill that will also take time & effort & probably tears from both of you... but better for him to cry in your arms than all by himself.

I suggest reading up on PU/PDor doing pat/sh & making sure you know exactly what to do & doing that from the momen you put him down for a sleep, not after he has been crying for some minutes.