how to wean when you are used as a soother...

[Ethan and Will's mama]

Hi there ladies, I am new to baby whisperer and am so glad that I have came across it. I am having a few problems with my little guy at the moment and I hope I don't come across as a terrible mother. I need some help. This has to do with weaning as well. My son will be 1 year on the 10th and he is still sleeping with my husband and I. The worst problem is that he basically uses me as a soother all through the night, switching from breast to breast every 2 to 3 hours and I am totally lost on how to stop this. Also, we just recently found out that we are pregnant again and so this stress is even more intense as we won't have the room in the bed soon with my belly getting bigger for my son to share! I would appreciate any advice! I hope I am not the only mom out there who has their baby sleeping with them.   :oops:

Thank you so very much for your time and advice. Ethan's mama

[GraceKellysmom]

This is one of the toughest issues a newly pregnant mom can face. I have a friend that faced this about a year ago. Her toddler nursed/co-slept with them. What she did was slowly get him to sleep in his own bed. She started with the crib in their room. As he got used to sleeping in it all night, and not nursing all night, they moved the crib into his own room.

When I found out I was pregnant with #2, I gave dd#1 a pacifier, she was 9 months old. She took to it pretty easy and stopped waking for me in the night. I continued to nurse her until I was 20 weeks pregnant and my milk left.

This age is tough because there is a lot of seperation anxiety associated with it. Make sure whatever you decide to do, you go slow, and easy. Your baby is extremely attached to you. Of course, your duty is to the new baby.

If you are interested, La Leche League has a ton of articles on their website, http://www.lalecheleague.org , and I've found several on weaning, on pregnancy and breastfeeding, on sleeping issues. I'm sure you can find lots of info to help you make your decision.

[annamum]

Hi there,

Congratulations on your new pregnancy! It is hard to find a balance to take a good care of yourself and your first child. You are not a bad mom. And you are not the only one who is sleeping with your baby  :lol:.

As GraceKellysmom said, the key to transitioning your son would be making changes gradually and slowly. I think, for a co-sleeping and breastfed toddler the best approach would be using his dad to help with a change. When he wakes up at night, have your husband take care of him, don't offer him your breast. You will have to be consistent. OH, and I think it would be better if he doesn't see you when your husband is calming him down. Your son will cry, as any modification to his usual routine would cause him to protest. Let your husband pick him up and do whatever it takes to calm him down, be it be carrying around, massaging, pu/pd or whatever works. It may be very difficult at first, your son will not like it but as long as he is not alone and not crying it out, he will learn a new way of going to sleep. You can also try to move to another bed and let your son sleep with dad until he learns to sleep without nursing, then you can move him to crib and then to his bedroom.

There is no need for you to stop nursing completely if you don't want to. Some women nurse through their pregnancy and some don't. There are many pros and cons for each approach. Probably the best you can do is to inform yourself about your options and make a decision based on that. Here is a good website where you can find info on breastfeeding while pregnant:  http://www.kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html

[Ethan and Will's mama]

thank you so very much for you excellent advice and for the website. It helped us a lot!

Regards,
Ethan's mama