When do you stop the shh pat method?

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

It seems lately that my son wants to sleep without me patting or shhh him. The first thing we do is wind down with a cuddle. I hold him upright in a dark room and pat him. Then when it seems that he is relaxed I lower him into the bassinet where I sshh and pat him until he sleeps. I continue to do this until about 10 to 15 minutes after he sleeps.

The last few naps he gets fussy when I shh and pat him before the bassinet. He squirms as though he wants me to stop, so I put him in the bassinet and falls asleep on his own. Other times he squirms in the bassinet, so I stop and he cries for a few minutes and falls asleep.

Getting the shh and pat method to work for us is a pure defeat, and I dont want to do anything to regress. Also, we are begining to have an issue with the 45 min inturder. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[Diego's Mama]

How old is he?

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

My son is 8 weeks old.  He would not sleep today. He would wake up 10 min after I left the room. I shhed and patted him 15-20 after he was asleep. Is is possible that the pat shh can become a prop?

[Diego's Mama]

No, too young for a prop.  My youngest woke at the ten minute mark a LOT in the beginning, it's maddening.  Pat and shush him back to sleep. It's a huge amount of work in the beginning...... you'll spend what feels like all day working on sleep, but there's huge pay-offs four/five/six weeks down the road.

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Thank you. It is nice to know that I am on the right track. How do I know when he doesnt need the shh pat anymore. Also, how do I know when he is in a deep sleep. I usally shh pat for about 10 to 15 min after his eyes are closed and his breathing is shallow. Sometimes he will move or wince, does this mean the time should start all over again?

[Diego's Mama]

You'll know because he'll settle faster and generally not need that much patting/shushing to fall asleep.  Be prepared to keep it up for a number of weeks, maybe even a month. 

Try slowing down the patting very gradually and making it lighter and lighter  until you're just resting your hand on his back.  Same with the shush, gradually make it quieter and quieter.  Ideally both should be so gradual that he doesn't notice when you've stopped.

If he just winces but doesn't wake, hang tight and leave him be.  If he wakes and cries, start over.  You always want to give baby a chance to do it on their own..... and then one day they will ....... and it will seem like magic.