Author Topic: I want to give up but feel too guilty  (Read 1281 times)

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Offline J&Jsmom

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I want to give up but feel too guilty
« on: November 06, 2005, 18:33:32 pm »
I am REALLY not enjoying breastfeeding. My DS is 7 weeks old and feeds every 2 hours. Literally he will for example wake at 8am, feed for anything between 7 and 15 mins (and I'm never convinced he's taken enough in), stay awake for exactly one hour, then sleep for an hour. Then it's 10am and bam, feed time again. And repeat the cycle.

He tends to fuss on the breast often (sometimes he's fine) and I just find it exhausting constantly having to wind him, then try again. I'm sick of not being sure how much he's really taking (and I've done a yield and while it looks fine, I'm still not convinced otherwise why would he need to eat so often?) I don't think there's a problem with how much I'm producing - there's loads, it's just that he seems to take what he wants and then stops and there's nothing I can do to get him to take more.

I'm sick of not being sure if he's going to last 2 or 3 hours so I can't plan to do anything. And quite frankly, I'm just bloody exhausted from it.

But because my older DS goes to nursery and brings home loads of germs, I feel I owe it to the little one to keep BFing him so that he gets all the immunity possible.  But I can feel my resolve weakening. He already has one formula bottle at night because by 10pm I just feel like I've got nothing left (and I want him to be happy with both a bottle and formula so that we don't have problems further down the line).

I never planned on breastfeeding for ages - with my first I did BF for 5 months, add one formula bottle per month until he was basically having more formula than breast - and then just weaned him off. I was going to follow a similar plan with number 2 but feel like I just want to speed up the process.

Sorry - a long ramble and I'm not really even looking for answers. I'm sure you great ladies will tell me to see a lactation consultant to make sure he's latching on properly and any other number of valuable and very valid pieces of advice, but the thought of doing any of it just tires me out even more.

I will stick with it a bit longer - I just wish that I wasn't so darn tired by it. Sorry for the moan.  :oops:
Melissa
Mom to:
Joshua Charles Boleslaw born 14.02.2004
Jamie Edward Christopher born 15.09.2005

Offline evanskimberley

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I want to give up but feel too guilty
« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2005, 18:45:27 pm »
Sorry to hear you aren't feeling happy.
Good luck, and i hope you sort things out.
Kimberley


Offline Schae

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I want to give up but feel too guilty
« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2005, 19:24:49 pm »
I can almost hear how tired you are from your post! I'm sorry! :(

I did not enjoy breastfeeding till around 3 months, when my son began going for longer than 2.5 hours inbetween feeds. I used to tell myself... "I'll do it for one more day" then "One more week" and eventually the weeks became months and I can honestly say I enjoy bf now (my son is 8.5 months).

The feeding every 2 hours actually sounds perfectly normal to me for a baby your son's age. 7 weeks is still very young.

I'm not sure if you'd like us to tell you that "it's okay, you can stop bf. don't feel guilty". I remember feeling the exact same way when my ds was around 3 months old (and STILL feeding almost every 2 hours). I'm afraid I can't do that. Nothing we say will make you feel like your choice is the right one unless YOU are comfortable with your choice.

You know how good bf is for baby. But, an unhappy mother is no good for your son either.

If you think back to when you first bf your first son, wasn't he also feeding as often at 7 weeks?
If you feel as though you are unable to plan your day because of the bf, how about expressing some milk so that someone else can take over the responsibility of feeding your son?

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that it does get better and easier. That said, you have done a GREAT job in bf for 7 weeks although you have not been enjoying it.

I hope you find something that works for you.
Proud mama to
Luka 22 Feb 2010 Textbook/Spirited
Tiisetso 18 Sep 2010 Textbook/Touchy
and three little angels

Offline GraceKellysmom

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I want to give up but feel too guilty
« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2005, 19:27:05 pm »
Hi Melissa,

I agree with the pp that it is your choice to make, but since you posted this here, I have a feeling you're looking for support to continue nursing.

Many of us go through these feelings, you're not alone. We are so aware about doing what is right for our children ... so different from prior generations when people thought bottlefeeding was better. I'm still shocked that we have the choice, so many choices, too many choices - about how we parent. It makes it tough!

Breastfeeding does get easier. It really does. And, it goes so fast. Before we know it, our baby is 6 months old ... 9 months old ... a year old. And this tiny, precious moment in time when they are a baby, it is done.

Yes, it is labor intensive at times. Max was much like your ds, on a 2 hr EASY until he was 4 months old. I got used to planning to feed him while out. Or we ran one errand a day, I'd feed him and pop out the door. Sometimes I fed him in the front seat of my car, where it was quiet and peaceful. We picked up my niece several days a week at kindergarten, so we didn't have the convenience of being at home all the time. This time passes so quickly. Before you know it, your ds will be going 3 and 4 hrs between feeds. And you may look back longingly for the time he lay in your arms, not asking "down!"  :lol:

So for your support, I say "You CAN do this!" You can keep going if you only try. I will support all of you ladies, for as long as I can, to keep nursing your babies.
Stacy, Mama to
Grace Kelly 01/03, Maximilian Alexander 07/04, Faith Noelle 03/07, Henry Patrick 12/08
and my angel babies

annamum

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I want to give up but feel too guilty
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2005, 02:39:21 am »
Breastfeeding gets easier, usually by 10 weeks it is much easier. I remember my first weeks were just non-stop nursing. I made myself some sort of nest on a sofa, with plenty of pillows and in the afternoons I was basically staying there with Anna. True, I didn't have a toddler to cater to. But, as I said, around 10th week things started looking better. Well, she was still feeding often but not as often as before (sometimes it was every 1 hour during a growth spurt) and I got a better hang of it and of her.

I breastfeed with one breast only as the other one didn't produce enough and I didn't get enough help/support to fix the problem. That probably contributed to the fact that Anna wouldn't last longer than 2.5 hours at the beginning. She was on 2-2.5 hours during her first 4.5-5 months and then started stretching to 3 and sometimes 3.5 hours. But to make my life easier, I learnt to nurse her outside of the home, so I could get out and I did go out a lot to stay sane. I also used a sling or a baby carrier if I was outside so she would sometimes be comfortable enough to "forget" that she was hungry.

THere is one more thing you can do to make sure he is actually getting a full feed, try a breast compression. To see more, click on the link and scroll down to breast compression: http://www.thebirthden.com/Newman.html

Well, anyway, I just wanted to say that we are here to help if you need us  :D.