Need Advice, ASAP

[cwolff]

I really, really want to get DD on a good routine.  Like seriously, I will commit to commit!  I need advice.  DD can go at least 4 hours in between feedings, but is a difficult napper.  Lately, she's had a good morning nap, but it varies in time due to her wake up times.  We were away for the weekend, and ended up driving around a lot.  Because of that, we got her to take a good afternoon nap, which ended around five on both Sat. and Sunday, and put her to sleep around 8pm instead of her normal 7pm.  I really liked this because she stopped doing her 5am waking, though she still wakes once per night to eat.  But she slept till almost 8am on Sunday, and I woke her at 8am today.  She doesn't sleep solidly though, very unsettled from 5am on, so I think this accounts for the sleeping late too.  I am trying every variation of routine I can think of and nothing seems to alter it.  I want her to start having 2 good naps.  One morning one, approx 2 hours after wakeup, and one afternoon one maybe 2 1/2 hours after morning nap.  Is this unrealistic?  I would love a 10am nap and a 2pm nap, so I'm trying to make that happen.  Can I actually make this happen, or is it just up to her biology?  Here's how I'm trying to make it happen.  I'm keeping the activity low key in the morning towards the end of awake time, winding down with a little walking, then wrapping legs, rocking a bit and into the crib.  Then I do have to do the 40min watch, but she will usually allow me to resettle her.  Then same thing with afternoon, keeping it lowkey almost for a full hour, taking a walk to wind down and doing whatever I can.  Winddown a bit longer especially the rocking part.  But this is where she just pops awake.  I've tried putting her down earlier, and she still does the same thing.  So should I stick with more A time and she will get used to it?  If I do less A time, and I still get these short naps, isn't that backsliding?  Here's how it's gone for us today, and I am not sure how to continue thru the evening.

Awake 8am
E 8:20am
A
S 9:45am

Awake 11:30am
E 12pm
A
S 1:55pm

Awake 2:30pm
Tried to resettle till 3pm
Gave up and left to write this post, she's chatting in the crib at the moment

Plan is to get her up as soon as I'm done here, change diaper and try to feed her and put her back down for a nap around 4pm.  We'll see if she fights me on this.  If she doesn't and goes down for a little while, all might be saved.  If she refuses, all h#$ will break loose tonight.  Does this sound like a good plan for keeping to EASY at least the E part?  Or should I leave her in the crib till 4pm unless she fusses?  I didn't want to do that just because I might be able to get her to take another nap, and if I leave her till 4pm then the soonest I could get her to nap would be 5pm and that's too late.

Any advice is welcome.  Thanks.

[HeatherC]

Well, what you are wanting to achieve sounds realistic.  Around that age, I had dd on a similar routine (up at 8, nap at 10 and 2, bed by .  However, until around 6 months she only took 30 minute naps.  I just always kept the E times the same.  Looks like you got a good am nap today.  If she's not going to sleep for the afternoon nap, but just plays happily in her crib she doesn't sound tired to me.  Maybe up the level of activity instead of downgrade it.  Then, really watch for sleep cues so you don't overdo it on accident.  My dd certainly started napping better once she could sit up and play on her own.  Also, I notice that if she doesn't get to play much during A time, like if we've been on errands, she isn't tired enough to sleep. 
One thing that did help me when I was trying to lengthen her naps was to put her down for 1st nap within 1-1.5 hours of wake up.  She would be so well rested from the night's sleep that she slept great.  Then she would be even better rested from the 1st nap that she slept great for the 2nd.  Gradually, I was able to move her am nap to 2.5 hours after wake up.  I'm not sure if this is something you would want to try since you are getting a good am nap, but just thought I would mention it.

[cwolff]

That's a good thought, and usually works out that she stays up about 1 1/2 - 1 3/4 hours in the morning.  But the afternoon just stinks.  No matter what I do, she doesn't seem to sleep long.  She refused to take another nap, so I ended up just driving around.  She slept a little bit, but I figured it was low key activity even if she didn't sleep.  We're trying to put her to bed now, don't know how that's going to go.  I am so worried about overstimulating her, that maybe I am understimulating her instead.  I will try to do more activity stuff with her, and not tip toe around so much.