Can't get over the 45 minute nap

[hlc662]

It has been over 2 weeks on BW and our naps have not improved.  Every once in a while she will get a good nap, but they are few and far between.  She is still waking up after 45 minutes...do I keep going?  I hate that nap time is so stressful for us!!!
I hate the screaming.  She usually wakes after 45 minutes and just plays until she starts crying.  I go in there and then she screams!!!  for 10 minutes before settling down.  Her eyes are usually not even open.  She just screams and thrashes around.  What do I do?

[Luke-n-Me]

I'm anxious to hear your replies!  I have been doing this for 3-4 weeks now and am nearly at my wits end.  My lo is 10 weeks old, she goes down to sleep on her own, but is up at the 45-min mark for 9.5/10 naps.  I go back to work in less than 2 weeks (only 2 days), but I really thought I might have this nipped by then, because my babysitter will just say "maybe she just needs held for her naps"-my family's philosophy.  She is doing better, I just put a hand on her and she falls asleep, but she gets herself awake again every 30 sec.-3 minutes for the next 45 minutes.  If this does get better in the next few weeks, is it just going to happen again between 3/4 mos?   Hope someone has advice for us!  Sitting by the crib for 2 hours a day getting her through naps is starting to wear on me!

[mthyne]

45 minute naps are really frustrating, I know!  Just know that they are normal--my lo is 14 weeks and he still is the king of the 45 minute snooze.  He has started to lengthen them a bit--it happens with time--but it's a definite process.  What has been suggested to me is try to re-soothe them (a pacifier works for us) for 15-20 minutes (we never try that long--he gets too worked up).  If they won't go back down, get them up, have some activity time, then put them down again.  Instead of EASY you kind of have EASASY.  I know it would be nice to have the longer snoozes, but it should happen in time if you keep working with them (just know that it's somewhere in the 3-6 month mark that babies figure out day-sleep and consolidate naps).  Pat yourself on the back, though, for being able to put your LOs down and have them sleep on their own!  Many babies don't do that! 
Good luck and don't be too frustrated! 
Melissa

[Meg's Mom]

Hi
I just replied to your other post also but here a more complete story if it helps you any...i have been there!

My LO started the 45min nap at about 3 months.  I search high and low for information and found Tracy’s work, then this site.  By this time Megan was now well into 4mos and I moved her to 4hr EASY as Tracy recommends and the short naps got a bit better.  I then used shh/pat, pu/pd (very little) and wake to sleep techniques to get her body used to sleeping thru the 1st sleep cycle as by now it was a well ingrained habit.  We saw improvement almost immediately (although small, but it was improvement) and I was convinced Tracy’s work was a godsend. 

We worked on her naps for 2 weeks solid and after much shh’ing and back aches we started sleeping about 1.25-1.50 for most naps.

Things were great for 2 wks after beating the 45min nap monster.  But then the monster came back.  I thought I would fall off the deep end.  What I didn’t take into consideration was that she was older now.  So I increase her A time by 15min and poof…the monster was gone again.  At 5mos 2.25hr of A time was the magic number for us.

[hlc662]

Thanks for replying to both.  I will try the longer A time.  She is just so tired.  It can't get any worse than it is!!!!  I will let you know.

[hlc662]

Okay...here is our day so far.
Awake at 7
1st nap at 8:45 only slept for 40 minutes.  Screamed and screamed so I gave up.
Awake until 12 (She ate at 11:10)
Unfortunately we were out so she fell asleep in the car for 20 minutes.  Got home and put her to bed.  She slept about 5 minutes then woke up.  She then screamed for an hour.  Never stopping.  Just screaming.  The minute I walk out of her room, she calms down.  Sometimes she just clings to me when I try to lay her down.  She did this last night for an hour also.  Just screaming with no pause!!  The only way to calm her down is to leave the room.  When you lay her down, she just flops around and screams...
HELP!  I don't want her to hate her crib.  I am about at the end of my rope!!!

[Meg's Mom]

Ohh, sorry you having such a bad day! (we need a hug icon here).

Looking at the day you posted...
***Awake at 7
1st nap at 8:45 only slept for 40 minutes. Screamed and screamed so I gave up. ***

Her Awake time was only 1hr 45min - probably not long enough.  At her age she can do 2hr min.

***Awake until 12 fell asleep in the car for 20 minutes.***

Her awake time was 2hr 40min  - much more A time, but after getting 20min in the car, she got enough to recharge her batteries so not surprised she wasn't going to go back to sleep.

What I suspect is happening, is that she is catnapping because of the brief awake time.. it's like "I've only been awake for a short time, so I just need a short amount of sleep". This is creating the 40-45 min nap.

I think you will find if you can keep her awake longer the naps will lenghten. Try 15min every 3 days. I like to extend A time by increasing the nap wind down so that it is low key or take a walk if you can keep them awake.

Does that make sense?

If helpful, you can post your schedule and we see how best to adjust it.

Hang in there, it does get better i promise.

[hlc662]

Okay...tomorrow we don't have to be anywhere so I can try to adjust the A time in the morning to at least 2 hours.  I guess she just looks so tired, I put her down.  I need to keep her awake longer.  I will try that tomorrow and then post what happens.

Thanks

[hlc662]

Well this morning her A time was 2 hours and she only slept for 45 minutes.  The next A time was 2 and 1/2 hours and she slept for 45 minutes, screamed for 20 then slept for 10 more. 

Now all I have is a tired fussy baby.  HELP!!!

[Meg's Mom]

The first couple days are going to be hard!  If she has been doing the 45min naps for a while, her body will still wake up at that time out of habit. 

It sounds like you both need a break!  If she wakes at the 45min for the next nap, can you get out for a walk or something?  After the catnap I would put her straight into her stroller or carseat and go for ride...if she does fall asleep then come home and let her stay where ever she is (if in the car, stay w/ her) until she wakes on her own.  If she doesn't at least she will get rest.

Remember to not push her more then the 15min every few days or you will then have an extremely overtired baby and that too can add to your short naps.

other tips I recommend if you don't already:
swaddle!
use white noise!
Have room darkened!

When she went back to sleep at the second nap for 10min, can you let me exactly what you did and how long you stayed?

Also does dc use a pacifier?

[hlc662]

Okay...sorry it has taken so long to post back.

Sunday she actually took a 2 hour nap, but only after she had been awake almost 5 hours!!!

Today her A time this morning was 2 1/2 hours.  She slept 45 minutes then woke up for about 30 and then went back to sleep for 1 hour.  For those 30 minutes, I just left her in her bed until she starting crying and then went in and patted her until she fell asleep. 
This afternoon her A time was about the same.  She slept for 45 minutes and then woke up...that is where we are now.

She slept good last night, but was up really early.  The past few days she started to stir about 5.  She goes to bed at 7:30.  Do I need to push that back a little?

I tried to swaddle, but she gets out of it.  She uses a paci.  Her room is dark and I have a fan in there.

I also want to drop her dream feed.  She is taking in about 32 ounces during the day so I don't think she needs those extra ounces...

[Meg's Mom]

darn..but the fact that you got her back to sleep this morning was progress...just really hard earned!

I think maybe the sleep clock is stuck - have you tried awake to sleep  yet?

have a look these threads:

http://babywhisperer.com/forum/wake-to-sleep-for-naps-vt43311.html
http://babywhisperer.com/forum/wake-to-sleep-just-woke-him-up-vt45534.html

Today her A time this morning was 2 1/2 hours. She slept 45 minutes then woke up for about 30 and then went back to sleep for 1 hour. For those 30 minutes, I just left her in her bed until she starting crying and then went in and patted her until she fell asleep.

  Keep at this, sounds like this is a habit now.

She slept good last night, but was up really early. The past few days she started to stir about 5. She goes to bed at 7:30. Do I need to push that back a little?

  If you can yes, but i would first keep your focus on the short naps.  Do you give her a chance to fall back asleep?

[hlc662]

I definitely think she is stuck!!  This morning she woke up at 5:50.  She just played in bed until 6:30.  She starting fussing so I went in and gave her paci.  She fell back asleep till 7.20.  Should I be getting her up instead of trying to fall back asleep?
I will try wake to sleep today.  I was going to yesterday, but I wasn't quick enough...

[hlc662]

I dont know if wake to sleep is good for her.  The minutes she sees me, she smiles and wants to play...I will keep trying.

[Meg's Mom]

What did you do exactly, she is not supposed to see you.

[hlc662]

I went in and put the paci in her mouth and patted.  I tried to hide, but she picked up her head and turned until she flipped over on her back and then she saw me.
She does this thing where she pulls up on her knees and then flips herself over to her back.  I think that is why she has a hard time putting herself back to sleep.  Even when swaddled she does it.

[Meg's Mom]

does she start to suck the paci when you give it to her?

I would try giving her the paci and then leave, don't stay and pat.  OR don't use the paci and try to get her stir...not wake up totally just enough so that she comes out of the deep and starts her sleep cycle all over again.

Does she need the paci to go to sleep?

[hlc662]

she usually needs the paci to sleep.  Probably a bad habit, but I am just excited that she is actually sleeping in her bed!
I will try that next nap time.  She is awake now.  She only slept about 45 minutes, but woke up happy...

[hlc662]

I tried it again.  I went in at 30 minutes and put the paci back in her mouth.  She stirred a little and then went back to sleep.  15 minutes later she still woke up...This is almost becoming funny.  Maybe she is not meant to sleep long, is that possible?

[Meg's Mom]

IMO - if she wakes happy then yes, but if she is cranky as you describe then she needs more sleep.

The paci isn't helping at all - how they fall asleep is how they stay asleep.  You may not get any progress if she is using this a prop.  There is info on how to break this in the props forum.  Sleeping in her bed is def progress! 

I also think maybe you are expecting results too quickly...she has been taking the 45min naps for how long?  We can't expect her to break the habit on our first or even third try of something.  But if it were me i would keep trying.  Try to stir her a bit more - it is trying to find that fine line between wake but not too awake...i know this is frustrating...i have been there many times!

It will get better - i promise!

[hlc662]

YEAHHHHH  she took a 2 hour nap today.  I went in there at 45 minutes and waited and waited.  She stirred a little, but went back to sleep without me or her paci!  SHe did wake up screaming!  Can babies this young have nightmares?  Also, she is really sleepy.  I guess she is not used to sleeping that much!  I figured after a 2 hour nap she would be ready to go...oh well!

[Meg's Mom]

Oh goodness, finally! 

Big happy hugs to you both!!

Can babies this young have nightmares? Also, she is really sleepy. I guess she is not used to sleeping that much! I figured after a 2 hour nap she would be ready to go

I don't know about that one?  Like you said, maybe she was just not to sleeping that much.

[hlc662]

Thanks for all the support.  Hopefully we will get this going for good.  She also stayed up 1 hour later last night and slept 1 hour later this morning!!