Confused first-time mommy

[Sydney'sMom]

So glad to see this message forum exists!    I have a 4wk old in which I am trying to implement E.A.S.Y.  I bought the book yesterday and today was my first day trying out the 4wk old sample routine provided on page 25. 

As a first time mother, I am so overwhelmed with all of the information contained in the book.  My daughter is both breast and bottle feed.  I find myself wondering what to do with the schedule when my daughter can't last for 30 minutes of activity time...do I put her down to sleep early or will she end up getting too much sleep during the day then and not sleep well at night?  For example, I fed her this morning at 7:30 am and tried to lay her down for her nap at 9:00.  She cried as I laid her down in her pack and play so I tried the "Four S" approach.  I tried that approach for 2 1/2 hours as she kept crying and woudn't go down for her nap.  It was then 11:30 and time to feed again.  Should her next nap then last longer than 1 1/2 hours as she didn't get her first nap?

Maybe I am trying to follow the routine too closely, but I want to make sure I am doing my part in order to get her on a schedule as we currently are on HER schedule.

Sorry for being SO long winded.  Any help on what sort of  direction I should take is greatly appreciated.

[Gigismom]

hi there
welcome!  i too was totally overwhelmed when i first read the book and then brought my newborn home and tried to implement everything.  it just didn't work out and i was SOOO stressed because i couldn't do it all.  so what i did was to do everything in steps.  for the first month, i just worked on getting the feeds 2.5 to 3 hours apart.  then the next month, we worked on getting her to nap on a schedule and doing the A-E-S order of things (but during this time i was rocking or breastfeeding her to sleep).  when she turned 3 months, we started working on getting her to fall asleep independently.  for me, it was WAY easier after i broke it down into steps. 
just remember that the times given in the book are ONLY guidelines.  just keep them in mind as a framework for your day, but some days you will be off "schedule" by an hour or more.  it's ok!  there will be good days and bad.  even though we did the process in steps and didn't fully get her on easy until 3 months, our dd did very well.  she was sleeping through the night at 3.5 months.  we were cursed with the 45 min naps until she was about 6 months.  now she naps for 1.5-2 hours.  so it's ok to just do what you can in little steps if it makes it less overwhelming for you.

[MPalmer]

I too have been overwhelmed with trying to get it right.  At first, (thanks to raging hormones) I just cried cuz I thought I was failing at EASY.  But then I realized that my little guy (who's 5 weeks old & has been on 3 hr EASY since day 1) is a touchy baby and is easily over stimulated or over tired...and has a hard time staying asleep.  So, as a result...he grunts and fights against the swaddle and takes forever to settle to sleep. Or he wakes 30-40 minutes into a sleep. Forget putting him down awake...we've been holding him until he falls asleep.  We've just been focusing on eating every 3 hrs and helping him back to sleep.  Oh ya...and shhh/pat doesn't work on all babies.  He likes just his paci and a hand on his chest.   And we haven't been able to do the cluster feeds since he usually just fell asleep by the time the cluster feeds should happen.  We've just stuck to 3 hrs until 9:30pm...then he wakes around 1:30-2:00 am for a feed and again at 5:30 am.  It's been really tough figuring this all out and of course who can be an objective problem solver on little sleep! haaa

[damara]

I also had a touchy baby and found if I waited the 1.5hr before puting him down for a nap, he'd be overtired and tougher to put down. For the first couple of months I found if I fed at 7am, I had to put him down by 8am otherwise it would be a battle to get him to sleep. I'd suggest trying to put him down earlier for his nap to see if that makes a difference. Remember, it's ok to tweak EASY so it suits you and your baby and it may not necessarily be exactly the same as the suggested routine in the book. It's really about the right order of things - Feed, Play, Sleep. :wink:

[MPalmer]

I think you're right on the money with putting him down sooner.  The trick now how can I get him to eat more efficiently without over stimulating him?  He takes about 30-40 minutes to eat.  I try to liven him up when he eats by talking to him and burping him...even changing positions or diaper change.  Do you have any tips??? 
Do you think this will get better as he matures?  I haven't barely taken him out of the house cuz we pay for it later that day! haaa  THANK YOU!!!

[Gigismom]

it will get easier as he gets older.  definitely keep the awake times VERY short at this age.  he will get more efficient at eating as he gets older too.  by the way, i STILL rarely leave the house!  ha!

[Sydney'sMom]

Thanks for your advice.  It does help to take a step back and break it down by steps:)  Eating every 3 hours doesn't seem to be a problem for us, which is good.  Looks like I should start working on the naps as she doesn't always like to fall asleep independently.  She would much rather have me rock her and then lay her down :?

Sydney is a very touchy baby as well.  I found EASY to work well for me in the afternoons, but come evening, things can get very hairy.  I can only seem to get her to take one of the cluster feeds, as she is way too tired for the next cluster feed and will only take half of her bottle.  I then have problems waking her up for the df as well, sometimes not able to
feed her at all for the df as she is just OUT.

I am wondering if she is just too little yet (4 weeks yesterday) to be able to sleep longer than 3 or 4 hours at night, as she wakes for feedings.  For example, here is our routine from last night:

*usually eats around 3-4 ounces per feeding
E - cluster feed at 6:00 pm - 3 1/2 ounces
E - cluster feed at 8:00 pm - 2 ounces (couldn't keep her awake)
E - df at 10 pm - 3 ounces
E - woke at 1:30 am for a feeding - 3 ounces
E - woke at 5:30 am for a feeding - gave her her dummy to see if that would satisfy her, but it didn't.  Ended up giving her 3 1/2 ounces at 6:00 am which started our day. (normally try to start around 7:00 am).

I too have been overwhelmed with trying to get it right. At first, (thanks to raging hormones) I just cried cuz I thought I was failing at EASY. But then I realized that my little guy (who's 5 weeks old & has been on 3 hr EASY since day 1) is a touchy baby and is easily over stimulated or over tired...and has a hard time staying asleep. So, as a result...he grunts and fights against the swaddle and takes forever to settle to sleep. Or he wakes 30-40 minutes into a sleep. Forget putting him down awake...we've been holding him until he falls asleep. We've just been focusing on eating every 3 hrs and helping him back to sleep. Oh ya...and shhh/pat doesn't work on all babies. He likes just his paci and a hand on his chest. And we haven't been able to do the cluster feeds since he usually just fell asleep by the time the cluster feeds should happen. We've just stuck to 3 hrs until 9:30pm...then he wakes around 1:30-2:00 am for a feed and again at 5:30 am. It's been really tough figuring this all out and of course who can be an objective problem solver on little sleep! haaa

Our babies sound identical!

[Richelle]

Hi,

The DF never worked for us but I tried in the beginning and our night routine looked almost identical to yours.  I decided to stop fighting to get food into her at the dreamfeed and found that she still slept the same amount without it.  Maybe give it a try for a few nights and get to bed early yourself and see what happens...HTH!

[corrina01]

Don't worry to much about A time to much.  My nearly 5 month old DD can only stay awake about 1.15hr then she needs sleep. 

As long as she doesn't feed to sleep, is the key.  If she says feed, then 15 A time and then she is yawning, put her down to sleep. 

I beat myself up over this trying to keep awake, now I follow her cues.  Good naps follow in a good night.

When my DD was 4 weeks, I fed her every 2.5 -3hrs then changed her nappy (A time) and then it was straight to bed. 

My DD feeds at 7am and then fusses to go to bed at 8.30am, where I put her. 

Don't worry about it at 4 weeks you are a brand new mother, settle on reading her cues i.e. when she is hungry and when she is tired and do a little A time in between.

You are doing a great job.   

A little note about cluster feeds.  I have never done them, but I think you should only do them when they are having a growth spurt.

[Gigismom]

the feeding scedule doesn't sound bad to me.  but if she isn't taking the milk easily at the df, i would just try to go without it.  if i had to do it again, i would NOT do the df.  gianna wouldn't usually take much and then she eventually started waking up at the dreamfeed and we had major problems getting her back to sleep.  just try to go without it if you can.  sounds like you are doing a great job!

[Sydney'sMom]

Thanks to everyone for the advice and support.  I have decided against the DF as my daugher woke up at 2:30-3:00 am for a feed regardless.

One more question - My daughter has been having gas pains and I feel so bad for her as I am not quite sure what to do for her.  I have used the Mylicon drops, but I don't really see a noticeable difference.  The gas pains seem to keep her awake and nap times has been almost null as she either can't go down for a nap because of pains, or they wake her up.

Any suggestions, ideas?

[corrina01]

I found gripe water did the trick, or you could always if she doesn't settle down at naps, try holding her on your shoulder and patting her bum to show her where to she has to pass the gas from, or smoothing down her stomach, like you would stroke a dog or cat, that seemed to help as well, and it is a calming effect, so you and your DD should fall asleep.

When I changed her nappies I used to bicyle her legs up in the air, and then hold her legs to her chest and count to 10 and then shake them down, my DD really enjoyed that.

That will get better in time when her stomach matures enough, I found that by the time my DD was 3.5 months she could pass wind easily.