what's more important @ 5 weeks old...sleep or eat?

[MPalmer]

I have a 5 week old touchy baby who has been on 3hr EASY since day one and has a touch time with sleep.  We've limited his activity to just eating (BF) and diaper change at 45 min to 1 hr w/ hardly no stimulation, which seems to work.  However, when he does get too stimulated or over tired, he takes forever to fall asleep...grunting & fighting against the swaddle.  We end up holding him till he's asleep...just so we can assure he gets some sleep.  So, by the time he gets into a deep sleep...the 3 hrs are up and it's time for another feed.  So, generally I know the more he eats during the day the less he'll want to eat at night...but I've also heard the better sleep he gets during the day the better sleep he gets at night???  So...which battle should I choose?  Does anyone think he'll get better at falling & staying asleep?  I'd sure like to leave the house with him someday! haaaa

[Deb_in_oz]

i know it is hard - the 2 are actually interlinked so when you have a bad nap you might find a bad feed follows, or if they don't take much at a feed they might need a top up in order to sleep, etc

so my first advice is to keep the stimulation low level still since he is still only 5 weeks and obviously can't handle too  much.  if at 45min - 1hr you find he is taking forvever to go down then i would reduce his awake time further.  try 30-45min and build UP from there as he shows he is able to HAPPILY stay up longer and still go down easily for naps.

if you find that it took a while to get him down for a nap and he is happily sleeping at the 3hr mark, i would let him AT LEAST finish the sleep cycle he is in and then get him up for  the next feed. so if he fell asleep and after only 30 min he is "due for a feed" let him sleep at least until the natural end of a cycle (ie 45 min) or as long as you feel comfortable - he is still so little that he really needs those naps.

prevention is better though so defnitely try to get him to bed earlier rather than later to minimize the number of times you are faced with the overtired/overstim. can't get him to sleep scenario (i know easier said than done - i had a spirited newborn who gave tired signs only after she got to the overtired point  :roll:  so that was our usual scenario until we started putting her down BEFORE the first yawn).

when he is grunting and fighting the swaddle that his is his way of trying to deal with the overtiredness and settling.  keep wrapping him and if needed pat/shh him to get him relaxed.

so bottom lline is he needs both - try to find the balance.  if he just fell asleep don't wake him to try to stick to a schedule.  if he does not get a decent nap you can bet there will be a knock on effect and in the long run he won't eat as well so there was no point in waking him for the feed.  when he is older you can try to get more regular (but still flexible) with his feeds.  HTH

[MPalmer]

You're right about a bad nap leads to a bad feed.  He's just starting to do this thing when he's on a bad feed where he thrashes his head around and his arms flail and he gets all wound up.  I try to calm him...but he gets pretty frustrated.  I want to cry along with him! ha ha  Your suggestion sounds great about waiting until the next sleep cycle.  He'll usually start to grunt when he's changing cycles.   
I'll try to get him to eat more efficiently so that we can get him back down sooner.  Do you think this will get better?  I don't take him out of the house much in fear that he'll get too stimulated or over tired (he doesn't sleep well in the car seat when there's no motion.)  I'm getting cabin fever!  THANK YOU!!!!!!

[Deb_in_oz]

will he sleep in the stroller? if he won't sleep in the car seat and he has short A time, maybe you can at least get out for a walk or to a mall or something if you are getting cabin fever - you coudl do his catnap in the stroller or pick another nap that suits you and see if he sleeps in the stroller ok.

although the aim is for him to sleep in the cot/basinette most of the time, you do have flexibility.  stroller/car seat sleeping is really only a problem when a baby NEEDS these things in order to get to sleep.  in the early days when they are learning to sleep on their own it can be a bad thing for all their naps to be on the run, because they will become hard to put down at home, but as an every now and then thing it is fine IMO. Moms need to get out too and we can't all wait until baby is awake for 2hrs each time.

everything gets better/easier as time passes.  you are getting used to him, he is getting used to the world, his eating shoudl get more efficient and easier as the weeks pass...

[MPalmer]

Thank you so much for that advice!  We bought a front carrier and he'll sleep in that.  I guess I felt guilty that he wouldn't get good sleep in it...but I really do need to get out!!  My confidence and just overall mindset are low.  So anything to get out would be great!!! 
Thanks too for saying things will get easier cuz now it seems like it won't.  I guess that 's what sleep deprivation will do to ya!  I have to say I'm surprised at how tough this 5 weeks has been.  I had no idea!!!! haaaa   Thanks again for your help!!!!