wake to sleep just woke him up!

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Well I thought I would out smart the 45 minute intruder, and it back fired. I quietly crept into my son's room and slightly brushed his cheek, and he fully woke up. I cant get him back to sleep! I am kicking myself because I just ruined his best nap of the day! now he is going to be even crabbier than ever! Is he too young for wake to sleep? He is just turnign 9 weeks old. He is ALWAYS crabby, and I think it is because of his 30-45 minute naps. So I thought I would try this method. What do I do?

[Meg's Mom]

How long has he been doing the 45min naps and how long have you been working on fighting the 45min monster?  :wink:

Do you swaddle?

Use white noise?

Have room darkened?

Does dc use a pacifier?

[Meg's Mom]

Also, have you read the announcement at the top of the page where there is excellent advise on how to do the awake to sleep tech?  It is one of those that takes weeks to work and no your LO isn't too young.

What did you do exactly?

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

I use all of the above except the paci. He just doesnt like the paci, I have tried. I did read the wake to sleep entry, that is where I got the idea. Maybe I did it wrong. I went into his room quietly at about a 35ish minutes into his nap and brushed his cheek slightly. Boom, he woke up. When I do this do I need to have him stir or will just touching him be enough? I am afraid to try it again. His sleep is so precious!

Also, I read somewhere that the 45 min interuption could stem from not being on a set time schedule. I am trying to get this going. If my ds gets up at 7, when should his bedtime be? He has been going to bed at 10 or 11. This is probably too late huh? I am afraid to put him to bed early as I am afraid he will start waking up in the middle of the night again.

[Meg's Mom]

I think maybe you woke into full consciousness also that you went in too late.

The aim is to get to them when they are still in the deep sleep (the last 20min of the 45min cycle) and to interrupt it just enough that the sleep cycle starts again vs. letting the cycle complete it self and they wake up at the 45min mark (sorry if you know all this already).

Here is how I did it recently w/ my LO (see if you can adapt it your LO).  She recently moved to 1 nap and she was waking after 1.15hr which was the same time as her am nap.  I went in after 60min - she had her arm around her lovely (too cute huh) and I very gently pulled the lovely until she stirred (moved her arm or head) and then hid out of site.  If they see you it is game over!  First time I did this she slept for 2hrs - success.  I repeated for 3 days and now she doesn't need me to do the awake to sleep tech.  Her time clock was stuck  :wink:

If starting your day at 7am, then bed should be about 8pm at your LO's age.  Do you do a dream feed?  That should help w/ the earlier bed time.

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Oh, I was doing it wrong! Boy that is a relief. There is hope then! Is at always the last 20 minutes of the sleep cycle? He also wakes at 30 minutes too.

[Meg's Mom]

There is hope, but this is a learning process so don't expect any method to work over night.

I would go in 10min before he normally wakes and gentle get him to stir.

I also pulled this from the announcement called "teaching sleep to new borns" - have a look at it if you haven't already, there is great help and strategies.  This LO is a bit older then yours but it may help.

My 13 week dd recently reverted to short naps. I was convinced there was something I was doing wrong and that if I could just find out what it was the short naps would be gone.
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Strategy/Result:
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Matthew's Mommy (Jane) shared some info with me that has reassured me and given me the strength to face another day of trying to extend my dd's naps.

From 0-3 months babies work on organizing their night sleep. From 3-6 they work on organizing their day sleep. What is happening is biological and is a normal blip. In the meantime, I am going to try to extend her naps with wake to sleep so that she gets used to the sensation of going from one sleep cycle to the next. I am keeping her awake time at 1.5 hours and will start moving her towards the 4 hour EASY when she is 3.5 months or so.

Jane also advised that I do a pre-wind down before all naps. So if the nap is supposed to start at 8:30, around 8:00 start walking around the house or the garden. The swaying motion of walking releases a calming hormone in the baby. Walk around until 8:15 and then start your wind down. In my wind down I rock her for a bit, turn on a lullabye, take off her clothes, change her diaper, swaddle her, and then "slow dance" with her. I may tweak the wind down/pre-nap routine but it worked well this morning.

Jane did say that it could take a while for things to get sorted out in regards to her day sleep. But I just feel so much better knowing that what is happening is not my fault and it is just biology. I also feel like I won't be as frustrated with her as it is just another part of her growing up.

PS: Have you read Tracy's new book?  It has excellent tips for teaching sleep.  I recognize the term "45min intruder" and found that book was okay w/ how to organise Eat - Activity - Sleep but lacking in many ways...


Hope this helps.

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Thank you Meg's mom! Oh I could just hug you right now! Gage had 4 naps today, and the sleep to wake method worked 2 out of the 4 times! I had to actually wake Gage up from the 2 naps it did work on! I didn't want him to miss a feed.

I dont think I woke him good enough on the other 2 naps. How much should he wake up? It was much harder than I thought to wake him!

In your last entry you said that I should go in 10 before he wakes up. I was going in after he was asleep for 20 (during a 45 min nap). Is that right or should I modify this? Also, one of the naps he almost fully woke during the 3rd stage of sleep, but put himself back to sleep. Do I count my time from the start of the first or the second time he fell asleep?

I am sorry I keep asking questions, but it was a blessing to have him sleep today. I just want to do it right so he will feel better. I dont have a mom or family to help, so this website is all I have. Thank you soooo much!

[Meg's Mom]

Hugs gladly accepted  :wink: - if this was web cam you would see me smiling right now...this is what makes this site so wonderful!

Anyway, how much to wake him?  Just enough so that you can actually see him stir. 

20min is fine if it works, just keep in mind that the 1st 20mins of his sleep is a light sleep so the risk of waking him too much is greater, KWIM.

Also, one of the naps he almost fully woke during the 3rd stage of sleep, but put himself back to sleep. Do I count my time from the start of the first or the second time he fell asleep?

Start of the second.

Every LO is different so it is something you will have to adjust accordingly.  It sounds like you are the right track, so just keep doing what you are doing girlfriend!  Don't hesitate to post back if you have more questions.