Needs me to resettle - advice please!

[wilsmum]

DS is 5 1/2 months old, bf, happy healthy and not teething.  After introducing resettling techniques (pat and shhh) when he 10 weeks old he has been having 3 x 2 hour sleeps during the day and sleeps well at night.
My issue is that now he seems unable to self-settle during the day and I am constantly having to resettle for every day time nap.  This is a recent problem as prior to 5 months, he was self settling during the day.  I only have to turn him on his side and after about 20 mins he goes back to sleep but unless I go in and do this, he just lies in his cot and talks to himself (sometimes starts crying after about 1/2 an hour).  If I don't intervene, he is awake until his next feed time and is then tired and cranky.
Any advice would be great.
Sue

[mommytsa]

Okay, I dont' know how much this will really help you or not, but have you tried leaving him for a bit longer, not just at naps, but also at night.  I am not talking about leaving your LO to CIO, just that when you do go in, you may not be giving your LO long enough to really have a chance to resettle by himself.  Does taht make sense?  Obviously you've tried it for naps, but with mine, I found that the naps didn't really come together until I let him figure out how to resettle at night.

I hope that helps at least a little.

[wilsmum]

He self-settles at night no problems its just during the day.  I usually leave him for about 10 minutes (of crying) before going into his room during the day however find that if I go in as soon as he wakes he is much easier to resettle.  The issue is, I would like to reduce the amount of times I have to actually resettle him during the day (ie; when he wakes from his sleep after just one cycle of 45 mins).  He falls asleep no problem (I put him down wide awake).

[Meg's Mom]

Sounds like maybe you need to make some schedule changes:
Okay, give me a breakdown of all sleep.

Bedtime ________

Awake _________

1st nap _________ for ________ long

2nd nap _________ for ________ long

3rd nap ________ for _________ long

[wilsmum]

Hi Meg,
Thanks for the reply, your thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
His routine (when all was well) was as follows:

7.30 wake, feed, play (I cannot extend it any longer as he gets overtired)
8.45 sleep
11.00 wake, feed, play
12.30 sleep
3pm wake, feed, play
5 pm sleep for 45 mins - 1 hour
6pm bath, feed, wind down
7pm bed for the night
9.30 dream feed
3.30 am feed only

His current pattern (as of the last 10 days) is as follows:
7.30 wake, feed, play
8.45 sleep
9.30 am wakes and I resettle him (usually takes about 20 - 30 mins)
11.15 wake, feed, play
12.45 sleep
1.30 wakes and I resettle him (again, takes about 20 - 30 mins)
2.10 sleep
3.00 wake, feed, play
5.00 sleep
6.00 bath, feed, wind down
7.00 bed for the night
9.30 dream feed
3.30 am feed only

If I don't resettle him (ie; when he wakes from his first two sleeps of the day), he eventually cries (after about 15 minutes of talking to himself) and will not self-settle.  The need to have me there to resettle him is only as of the last 10 days as he use to self-settle and usually his day time sleeps would last anywhere from 2 - 3 hours.  I've tried keeping him up longer but he gets very grizzly and is then difficult to settle.

Any ideas on how to overcome the need he seems to have for me to resettle him during the day would be great as it's taking longer and longer each time.
Sue

[Meg's Mom]

From looking at your schedule your LO is only awake 1hr15min....i know every LO is different but at 5mos most can do 2hrs.

7.30 wake, feed, play
8.45 sleep

What I suspect is happening, is that he is catnapping because of the brief awake time.. it's like "I've only been awake for a short time, so I just need a short amount of sleep". This is creating the 45 min nap.

I think you will find if you can keep him awake longer the naps will lenghten. Try just an extra 15min and see if that helps.  I like to extend A time by increasing the nap wind down so that it is low key or take a walk if you can keep them awake.

[wilsmum]

Hi Michelle (sorry, I called you Meg last time - Im a bit weary!)

I will try and extend his awake times as you suggested as I think this is the likely problem.  I have been trying to keep him awake longer but he gets really grizzly and is harder to settle if awake for more than 1 hr 15.  Even if I see his tired signs (which he displays quite clearly) should I try and keep him awake??

THanks
sue

[Meg's Mom]

Yes, even if you see his tired signs.  But only 15min max every 3 days or more if needed until the short naps go away.

I like to take them for walk, but make sure they won't fall asleep in the stroller - it is the perfect amount of simulation for them.  You can also have a bit longer nap wind down or v. quite activity.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

[wilsmum]

Michelle,
THanks for your advice, so far it has worked!!!  Today I stretched out his awake time by about 15 minutes and he has not needed resettling.  I think some of the signs that I thought were indicating tiredness were actually about being bored!  I took him for a walk outside and did a few other things and he has had 2 sleeps of 2 hours so far.
Thanks again,
sue

[Meg's Mom]

I am on a roll today!

You are correct, being bored also looks like sleep cues.  Keep up the good work!