Dear ladies,
Could you help me please? (Sorry, it's a bit long...)
The problem is with Marcel going to sleep. He used to be a wonderful sleeper who would fall asleep on his own and sleep through the night since he was a baby (a proper Angel) but a couple of weeks ago - unfortunately, with our "help", I think - falling asleep became a big problem.
The first thing I should tell is that Marcel goes to bed only with me - DH is extremely busy at work and with our rebuilding. I know it's a mistake but it's been so...
Everything started with my prenatal course. The classes are once a week. The first time I went there, Marcel stayed at home with DH (he didn't want to be put into bed by his Dad and wanted to wait until I'll be back) and he cried like mad almost all the time until I came back. Since the course is in the evening and Marcel doesn't nap, I thought it wouldn't be bad to put him in bed a bit earlier and then go to the class, so the second time I did so. He woke up being a bit thirsty while I was still away but it was no problem that DH gave him a bit of water - Marcel had a drink and then fell asleep again. The third time went as the second one at the beginning - I put Marcel in his bed, he fell asleep and then I went away. But this time, Marcel woke up in an hour or so and cried for me like mad but DH managed to put him back to sleep (he let DS to cry it out, though, which I don't find good but nevertheless). The fourth evening was great - although Marcel woke up and wasn't particularly happy about Dad and not me being with him, he went to sleep within half an hour without much crying (this time DH was with Marcel, he didn't leave him to cry it out). During the week, though, - i.e., when I was at home - Marcel's been calling for me, whining and so on for a while before he fell asleep, it usuallylasted for 30-40 minutes.
Today, I just couldn't go to the class because he started to cry like mad as soon as I left his room and has been constantly calling for me and crying for more than 2 hours! :shock: I decided not to go away so that Marcel doesn't think that I've left him without telling him anything. I think, he fell asleep now and then - there was silence for 10 or 15 moinutes a couple of times - but then suddenly woke up crying and calling me again.
I know, we should have told Marcel on earlier days that I'd go away but then would be back again, I just thought that he would sleep as he always did and we would save him this. :oops: Now, the trust is probably shattered and therefore he cries and calls me constantly just to make sure I'm here. I'm really angry with myself buit it doesn't help me to solve our problem... What should I do now? How can I get my fantastic sleeper back?
Another thing which bothers me is that we should somehow get Marcel used to his Dad coming to him at night or putting him into bed, especially with a baby coming very soon. The thing is though that DH is extremely busy with rebuilding at the moment - we have far too little room for four persons and we've got to get at least another room ready before the baby is born. It means that DH spends every single evening (not only after work but also weekends) at our "building site" working really hard, he isn't very keen on my idea that he should put Marcel into bed at least once a week. I mean, he'd do it, of course, but he wants to finish at least one extra room at first (and there's still a lot of work...). I thought that next time I have my prenatal class, I'll talk to Marcel and ask him what he'd prefer - I can put him into bed (a bit earlier than we usually do it) and then go away for a couple of hours or he can play with Dad a bit and then DH will put him into bed. I'm just afraid that 1) it will be a drama for Marcel (I know it will be!), 2) DH will put Marcel into bed but then will give it up after my course is over. But at first, I've got to help Marcel to build trust again. How can I do that?
Please, please, give me some advice... I'm so angry with myself for spoiling everything with Marcel's sleep that I cannot think clearly...
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and thanks in advance for your thoughts and comments,