Completely Overwhelmed: Schedule, Solids, Sleep, all of it.

[dallinsmommy]

I'm a first time mom, and am really struggling balancing everything and keeping a schedule. My son is 5 1/2 months old and just starting solids-I thought we had a good schedule going; but it seems like every week things get changed up. Ahhh! I'm so overwhelmed with trying to get it right.

He recently switched from three naps to two naps (about 2 hours each), which was working well for about a week-and then he started napping for less time at each nap and is now napping three times a day-ugg!

He was eating every 3 1/2-4 hours; however, recently has been wanting to nurse every 2 hours and is starting to demand nursing to sleep again. He's also never really slept through the night; he used to go a good 7 hour stretch; however, has been waking every 2 hours or so for the past week now.

As you can see; I just don't know where to start. We need to get back on track and get a schedule going. He always wakes at 7:00 a.m.; is it possible to kind of dictate a schedule for him and just put him down for naps, even if he's not yawning, etc? I just don't know what/how to do it. Maybe it's the lack of sleep-ahh!

I'm embarrased to admit it; but we used Ferber about a month and a half ago. It worked in the beginning, however, he's waking more often and starting to cry when he's put down for naps, etc. again. I can't handle letting him cry again-I won't do it again. It was AWFUL. It worked, but was awful.

I guess I just need advice on how/what to start with. the schedule? eating? solids? sleeping? ahhh-what to do and where to start. Can I start with all of it? I just don't know what's best. He is a big baby (20 lbs) and exclusively breastfeeding at this point. Is it possible that he needs to eat every couple hours? This has been going on for longer than a week now-

Please help; I'm so overwhelmed and just don't know what to do.

Thank you so so so so much.

[Jayri]

okay hunny, I will see what I can do for you. First of all breathe, and you will get thro this, I still have bumps in the road.
From what I remember of my time when dd was 5 1/2 mths, it is vague as she was sleeping erratically too, it seemed with her to lead up to a growth spurt and also about a month later she had teeth, so I think they were just forming back then.
From what I have learned with my dd on the EASY routine, especially at this age, is I think that maybe the two topics, eating and sleeping may go hand in hand.
I have had dd on EAEAS for a few months, as close as I can follow it anyway.
here is a rough daily routine from us

8:00am  -E-wakeup and bf
8:15am  -A-playtime
9:00am  -E-solids, cereal
9:20am  -A-playtime, feed usually takes 15mins or so.
10:30am-S-we begin our wind down, usually a hug on the couch in a nice    warm blankie
11:00am-S-we aim for pd in crib at this time, we are still working on this part of self soothing, we are hoping the lengthened wind down will help

12:30    -E- wake up, usually on her own, I try to give her a meat and veg dish at this feed, maybe you could try a veggie dish
1:00pm-A-playtime
1:45pm-E-bf or bottle feed, depending which one I want to give her.
2:00pm-A-playtime
3:00pm-S- again we begin our wind down for a nap
3:30pm-S- if all goes well then we pd at this time

5:00pm-E- we have been giving fruit at this feed, but it is up to you, you may prefer a bf
5:20pm-A-playtime
6:00pm-E- we give dd a mik feed at this time
6:20pm-A-playtime
7:00pm-S- we start wind down time for bed
7:30pm-S- bedtime at this time, no later for us

I use bottled food for solids, so when we started, we would give dd 2 or 3 tbsp of cereal in the am, and then for the other two solid feeds we would split a jar between two feeds.
We have found that a little cluster feeding towards the end of the dayvworks for us.
Like I say this is only a guide to what we do, but you may find that by adding a little more food in the day may help him go down for naps a little easier, and maybe help at night too.
Oh! one thing I forgot to ask, do you df, I know some mums don't, but I when Istarted it I began it at 11pm and then when dd started waking for it I pulled the time back for a half hour, so she would be feed and in bad by the normal time she would wake up. It does take about a week to 10days for it to help lengthen the night sleeping tho. I got all frustrated by it and then I posted asking for help, someone told me to hold on, and a couple of days later, whammo it worked.

I hope this helps somewhat, I am sorry for it being a long reply, but I thought maybe the details would help you a little better.
Feel free to let me know if you need anymore help.

Good luck hunny, you can do it.

[dallinsmommy]

Thank you so, so much! I don't know why I'm struggling with this all so much-I'm a very organized person; so I think the inconsistency of it all is just getting to me. My husband and I also moved across the country away from our families about a year ago-so, I just feel at a loss for advice. Thank you for your sweet message and for sharing your schedule.

I had laid off on the solids about a week ago as my little guy started acting ravenous for food. I was worried he was eating too many solids and not enough breastmilk-I'll start them up again and see if maybe that helps get some more calories in during the day. Thanks for mentioning the dreamfeed too-I tried it around two months however; he started waking for it and waking every couple hours after, so we stopped. I didn't think to move it up and give it to him before he woke for it. I'm going to try again tonight and see if maybe that will help. I guess it's all just trial and error.

Thanks again for all of your advice and help. I always thought of myself and pretty pulled together and somewhat intelligent; however, motherhood has sure tricked me! I've never had such a rough time with anything in my life. It's wonderful; but difficult. I guess it's just one of those days. Thanks for letting me vent a little and for the wonderful, sweet advice as well. I guess we'll just keep trying . . . Thank you.

[Jayri]

hey no problem at all babe, I am the same way, very organised, but when it comes to this routine I am a mess.
I thought of one more thing, try writing things down, I do that, and then that way I can see if there are any kinks, and if they are a just a phase or an actual problem.
Gotta run, revenous children are getting fussy :wink:  :wink:

[dallinsmommy]

Thanks again. Well, we tried the dreamfeed again last night-I fed him at 9:45 and then he woke at 1:30 a.m. (pretty good), 3:30 a.m., 4:30 a.m., and 7:00 for the morning. I think the wakings at 3 and 4 were gas related-his poor little system seems to be a wreck.

This morning I pumped to get an idea of how much he was eating. I pumped both breasts and got almost 8 ounces-well, the little guy only ate three and that was pushing him to eat more! I think he's 'snacking' and not taking full feeds. Any ideas on how to get him to eat more in each feeding and thus eat less frequently? Ha! He's been tricking me into thinking he was ravenously hungry-which he probably is if he's just eating a little all day long.

Well, we started some pears this morning too. PHew! I hope we find the cause of all of this; well, if not-as long as we get a solution.

Thanks again!

[Richelle]

Hi,

Naomi gave you some great advice and that is a good routine to follow. 

You were asking about specific nap times and have done that since DD was 4 months.  I think it works best for us (especially me) to know when and what is going to happen at specific times.

I also think that your LO should be getting more established with solids as he is 20 lbs.  His snacking on the breast may be his way of saying "mommy I am ready for something new!!".  DD is a big girl and I started her on cereal at 4 months and she had 3 well established meals by the 6 month mark, I know against most advice but she needed it and showed all the signs of being ready.

Another reason for erratic sleeping is mobility, rolling over, pushing up ect.  Is your LO doing all of these?  Extending your A time may help tucker him out a bit more.

Like Naomi said this is all just advice and is what worked for each of us.  You will get through this and make sure you get some support and help when you are overwhelmed.  I live thousands of miles from family so know how it can be sorta lonely and overwhelming at times. 

I have attached our schedule that is posted on our fridge, I call it a schedule b/c it is, as opposed to a routine.  I needed a schedule for lots of reasons the main one though is I went back to work full time 2 months ago and felt alot better having the nanny follow a schedule.

It will get better, but {{{{{hugs}}}} in the mean time!

[dallinsmommy]

Wow; thanks so much! Thanks for sharing your schedule too-I'm so impressed. I hope to get my guy on such a set schedule one day.

I have a quick question with the solids; I already asked about taking smaller feedings-will that cause him to eat too many solids and not enough breastmilk? I know to start with one feeding in the a.m., how soon would it be okay to add other feedings (lunch, and dinner)? Also, I know it's important for him to have time between feedings; but with doing the solid an hour or so after breastfeeding, isn't he eating all day long-kind of? Will this make him wake even more often at night? I guess it's just a trial thing; we'll definetely give it a shot though. I'm doing pears in the a.m. and hope to start more meals with time and get three meals a day going-I worry about my milk supply though. I think I'm just an over-paranoid mom!

Thanks again for all of your help and advice; you ladies are soooo wonderful! Thank you so very much.

[Richelle]

Hi again,

I went against popular advice and gave DD solids right before milk or vice versa.  Basically in 1 meal period but I am sure I would have done it differently if her solids effected how much milk she was taking, fortunately I have a little piggy that gobbles everything up.  I think you are right that starting out is trial and error.  Mine just worked out this way b/c I wanted to introduce solids when she was hungry to peek her interest and just seemed to stay on that path.

You need to do what you are comfortable with and let things sort of fall into place, I wish I could be more specific sorry but HTH!

[Richelle]

Sorry I forgot to say that with DD we started at b'fast then 3 days later added lunch and after almost 3 weeks (which was too long) started on fruits and veggies and then started dinner.

[Jayri]

hi there, me again.
I think with your milk supply it will go down, but it will adjust to how much the demand is. I used to produce ALOT, I could fill an 8oz bottle when I pumped both sides at the same time.
As for the feeding, what I get from it is that they are getting enough food in the day, so there is no need to wake at night unless it is habitual.
Think of it as if it was you, if you eat little in the day, don't you find yourself getting up for a midnight snack I know I sure as heck do, but maybe I am just a little piggie :wink:  :wink: .
I was thinking the same things with dd, but after a few weeks, all of a sudden she was sleeping thro a little easier,and she has been totally going thru since last week, knock on anything woody.
HTH