Can 3 Month Old Learn to Breastfeed?

[cdg925]

My son is now 3 months old.  I have been following the EASY routine and have been very successful with naps, sleeping thru the night and his ability to entertain himself.

My one problem is with breastfeeding.  He was in the NICU for the first 2 weeks and got used to being bottle fed.  I had trouble breastfeeding in the NICU, but continued to pump, so at least he was getting my breast milk.   From the start, he has been so fussy whenever I try to breastfeed; he cries & screams in frustration.  I've been to 2 different lactation consultants and we still haven't acheived success.  My husband is in the military and has been gone a lot, so he hasn't been able to help me.  I admit to caving in and just going into survival mode because I was too impatient to work through the feeding problems. 

I've continued to pump 5-6 times a day and so far have been able to keep up with his needs and only occasionally supplement with formula.
I would love to be able to breastfeed him directly, but don't know if it's a lost cause at this point, since I would have to break him of a 3 month habit. 

Thoughts?

[mommytsa]

I don't have any "expert advice" about a 3 mo old learning to breastfeed, but I can give you my personal experience.

Ds had latch problems from the beginning.  For six weeks I pumped and gave it to him in a bottle (side note here: I never knew what to answer when people like doctors would ask if I was bottle feeding or breastfeeding.  I gave them a 3 sentence explanation, but was never happy with that).  At six weeks, DS got a little cold.  He didn't want his bottles, and he still didn't want the breast.  I did everything I could think of to make him feel better, including getting into the bath with him.  One day, while cuddling in the bath, he just latched on.  It took almost a week of struggling and learning before he really figured out the whole breastfeeding thing, but after that, it took some convincing to get him to be able to take a bottle again.  So it can happen that an "older" baby can learn to breastfeed.  While I was pumping (and seeing a lactation consultant), my LC just kept telling me that as long as I still had milk, the possibility was there that DS could learn to breastfeed.  She told me that she had a client who pumped for about 4 months before baby latched on.

I know that didn't really answer your question, but I hope it at least gave you a little bit of hope.  As long as you keep up your supply, it is possible that you will be able to breastfeed.

[CaedensMama]

I would also agree that I think you can. My recommendation would be to contact the La Leche League in your area and talk to the contact locally. She should be able to give you some good pointers and help you out.

Here is the link for their site:
http://www.lalecheleague.org

Also - one of the other moms around here annamum is a wonderful gal with great breastfeeding information, and I think she is in California as well. She may see this post and respond too, but she could be of great help too!

Hope that helps!

[GraceKellysmom]

I agree that you have a really good chance of being able to get him to nurse. Have either of your l/c's discussed a supplemental nursing system with you? It is a tubing that attaches to your nipple and draws milk from a milk sac hung between your breasts. When your baby does suck at the breast, he will get a good supply of milk to keep him interested.

I would suggest skin-to-skin contact, lots of cuddling next to your breasts. Baths together and wearing him in a sling if you have one. Get him used to your breasts, even feed his bottles up close with your shirt off. Keep offering the breast to him, and keep working with a lactation consultant.

Anything worth having is worth working for. I think you're awesome for pumping and giving your boy your milk in spite of the rough start you both had. Thanks for sharing your story and do keep us updated on your progress.

There is another mother on the board who is trying to get a 6 month old back to nursing, although she is also relactating at the same time. You'll see her post a few down from this one, entitled "who relactated"?

[Lilah'sMommy]

I've also read about a process where you feed EBM with a syringe whenever the baby sucks on your finger-- it's called fingerfeeding, and it's in a book called So That's What They're For! by Janet Tamaro.  It's supposed to teach them to suckle correctly by rewarding them with EBM.  The author says this is preferable to supplemental nursing systems because those encourage an incorrect or not-strong-enough suckle, as it's pretty easy to get milk out of the system.  However, it looks like a LOT of work, so you might try the SNS first and see if it works.  Anyway, try bringing up one or both of these options with a lactation consultant and see if you can try them.

Great job getting this far!  Pumping your baby's entire supply for the first three months is a very tough job!  Good for you!  And let us know how it goes getting your lo on the breast.  I think you've got a good shot with the right guidance.

[annamum]

Hi,

I agree with others, it is worth trying and, in my opinion, you still have a chance to make it happen. You have already gotten tons of advice, I will only add that bathing together, a lot of skin to skin contact may help a lot. Also, when you are giving your son a bottle, are you holding him close to you as if you were nursing? You may want to have your breast available to him when he is feeding from a bottle and after his first hunger is satisfied you may then offer your nipple.

I also know the telephone numbers to your local LLL. Let me know if you want to call them.

I wonder where you live, we could maybe get together. I will pm you my address and telephone number.

[cdg925]

Thanks for all the great advice, ladies!   

One of the l/c I saw had me try a feeding tube attached to a syringe with about 1 oz of milk.  The problem with that method was that I needed a 2nd person to stick the tube in the corner of his mouth once he was latched on, and with my husband being gone so much, that just didn't work for us.

The other l/c had me try nipple shields, to try and trick him into thinking he was sucking on a bottle.  This worked great a few times, then we were back to square one.

My lo has a great latch and always starts off sucking vigorously, but then starts to fuss and cry after just a moment or two.  I keep trying to put him back on, but he just gets more upset, and then I cave in and give up.
I've tried pumping for a few minutes before feeding him, to make sure things are flowing, but even that hasn't worked.

I feel like a complete failure at breastfeeding, but I am glad that I've been able to provide him with ebm.   Pumping takes up a big part of my day, but at least I'll be in the groove when I go back to work in January!
(trying to look on the bright side here).

Thanks again for all the tips.  I will try them.

[mommytsa]

I don't have anything more to suggest, but just wanted to tell you that you are NOT a complete failure at breastfeeding.  You're a great mom, and your baby is getting breastmilk with much more inconvenience to you than "simply breastfeeding".  Keep it up!  You have had a ton of patience and stamina to keep pumping for this long.  Just be persistent with offering the breast,but try not to stress about it, and one day your LO might just surprise you.

Keep up the great job!  <<hugs>>