Need Help Adjusting 14 Week Old Schedule

[Mom to M&M]

Hi there.

Marisa (14 weeks) is on a 4-hour schedule (sometimes between 3.5-4) and has been for some time. She has cereal in bottle due to doctor orders for reflux and just doesn't like to eat more often and prefers to take longer naps.

Recently, she started sleeping completely through the night - 10-11 hours at a time! We hear her up (on baby monitor) around 4am chewing her hand (she's teething) but she doesn't cry out or want to get up.

This is amazing - the only problem is that it means she generally wakes up in the morning anytime between 6 and 6:45 (instead of 7:30 as she used to when she woke up for one night feed). Because of this, her entire schedule gets confused and we have nap issues in order to get her back to a bedtime between 7 and 7:30 (due to logistics, it really can't be any earlier).

She generally stays awake anywhere between an hour 40 minutes and two hours - although it's often a bit of a struggle at times. Her first nap generally lasts betwwn 1.5-2 hours, lately its been restless though. Her second nap is between 2 and 2.5 hours and much more peaceful.

Her catnap is next to impossible. She will only fall asleep for this one in the stroller, or on the rare ocassion, in the swing (which she doesn't love). This is fine with me since her other naps and night sleep are in crib. However, the catnap starts earlier than I'd like (between 4 and 4:30) since she wakes so early and naps are earlier and we are lucky if we can even get 30-40 minutes out of her.

She wakes from the catnap tired and cranky but I can't get her to go back to sleep. So she ends up with a LONG stretch (up to 2.5 or 2.75 hours) before bedtime.

I've tried adjusting with the earlier naps to make them a bit shorter and see if she will nap better in evening - but it's not helping.

Any ideas? I'm just trying to get her to get at least 45 minute catnap in (ideally an hour but that's dreaming) so she's better rested and relaxed for the evening before bed.

Of course once she starts sleeping in the morning until 7 instead of 6 or 6:30, it should be easier - but what do I do in the meantime to help her?

Many thanks!

[Mom to M&M]

Update here. After waking at 6:15 this morning, Marisa fell asleep at 8:05. She slept (with a brief waking at 45 min) until 9:30 but now is wide awake. So again we are all thrown off for rest of day. Assuming she falls asleep for second nap by 11:30, how long should I let her sleep for? Is 2.5 hours (to get her at least to 2pm) if she can/will OK or too long? Then try to get catnap from 4-5? Ack!

[Meg's Mom]

Hi Marisa

I see the problem, can i ask why bedtime can't be earlier like 6.30ish?

Also do you dream feed currently?

[Mom to M&M]

It unfortunately doesn't work out for mine or DH's schedule - I work part time from home and he doesn't get home until almost 6:30...

We don't currently DF. We used to but it really seemed to be interrupting her sleep. She would DF (and not take a full feed) and then still wake at 2am to eat and then sleep really restlessly after that. Once we stopped the DF, she started still sleeping until 2am, then 4am, now through the night...

Are you saying her bedtime should be earlier and have no catnap? I'm confused... Is there any other way to do it?

Thanks Michelle

[Meg's Mom]

Marisa, honey you are not saying that you keep the wee one up so dh can see her are you?

Are you saying her bedtime should be earlier and have no catnap

No, i am saying keep working on that catnap and bedtime should be earlier - at least until she will take a longer catnap.

Right, you have a couple of problems as i see it:
-she wakes too early which maked time too early (but i am not convinced that bed time can't be 6.30, at least until you get this sorted out  :? )
-fights the catnap something aweful and if she does take it - it is too short.

So, ideas:
-since she waking at 4am you could try feeding her and see if she will sleep later
or
-try awake to sleep before 6am and see if she will re-set her clock.
AND
-try awake to sleep for catnap also, to see you can get it to be longer.  Do you know how to do this?

Do you have any idea why she is fighting the catnap?  Not tired or too tired?  upset tummy, anything?

[Mom to M&M]

Sure that is part of it (DH seeing her) but my work schedule is a huge part of it.

Will keep working on the catnap and in the meantime can probably make the bedtime 7 instead of 7:30 - will that help? But today she finally just took catnap at 5:15 after MUCH struggle today. If she sleeps until 6:15, shouldn't I make bedtime LATER - say 8 or 8:15?

As for waking at 4am and feeding, I only hear her because I am a really light sleeper. She's not fully awake and doesn't cry out - I just hear her chewing on her hand and stirring. Wouldn't a feeding here only create a habit and wake her? Is wake to sleep at 6 am (or maybe 5:45) better in this case?

I do know how to do wake to sleep. However, catnap is generally in stroller or swing (she has always refused to take it in her crib, even though she sleeps wonderfully there other times). How would you do wake to sleep for the catnap in this case?

How long should the catnap be and at her age, what are ideal awake time ranges? Also, how much day time sleep in general is good or too much? If she naps too much earlier in day will she be unable to sleep for catnap, even if she is tired? And, how long should her night sleep ideally be (whether it's broken up or straight through) and how much day sleep at 14 weeks?

I'd say the fighting the catnap is a combination of being too tired but maybe also sleeped out? Plus right now she's teething like a madwoman and that doesn't help things...

BTW - Marisa is my daughter - my name is Karen 

Thanks again Michelle. I really do appreciate it and really do want it to work for her. Just hard to do a bedtime any earlier than 7. Later is ideal, but I'll do 7 if that's what it takes.