Desperate for help with 6 week old!

[Monijaye]

I have been trying to do EASY with my 6.5 week old son for the past 4 weeks.  The afternoons seem to be getting longer and longer and harder and harder to get through.  An example of his current routine is below (he is sometimes 1 hour before or after this, this was today)

630 E
A
720 S

11 E
A
12 S (very difficult to get to sleep and often won't settle.  If he does settle he sleeps for 1 hour)

245 E
A (very tired so back into bed quickly)
320 S (very difficult to get to sleep and often won't settle.  If he does settle he sleeps for 1 hour)

515 E (very tired during feed, falling asleep)
A (bath)
6 S (usually goes to sleep well at this time but tonight it took 45 minutes he was very distressed)

9 E (DF)

230 E S

We have tried to be on a 4 hour routine because he is formula fed and takes a large amount of formula at each feed.  He was going longer in the afternoons between feeds but this pattern has been more and more common over the past week or so.  We have tried resettling him in the afternoon instead of feeding but he is hungry.  At the feeds that are only 2.5 - 3 hours apart he does take less formula. 

When we are trying to get him to settle he fights the swaddle and is getting more and more difficult to settle.  This is only during the afternoon period, morning and night is fine. 

It is also very hot where we live and so holding him and pat/shh gets very sweaty for both of us. 

Today he seems to be fighting sleep.  When we put him down when he is settled his eyes start to close but then he is opening them wide again.  This is also new today. 

I'm not sure what to do to help him settle better as it seems to be getting worse and what to do about his afternoons. 

Thanks in advance

[M&M's Ima]

Look in the General Sleep forum for two threads on six week old sleep.
This seems to be "the age."
and consider yourself lucky to have any sort of schedule at this age!

[Monijaye]

Thanks I will have a look at those two threads. 

I am very emotional but I am finding it difficult to consider myself lucky when I have a baby who is upset for an average of 5 hours every afternoon and so far today has been unsettled for 8 and a half hours. 

Adele

[M&M's Ima]

I definately wouldn't refer to the screamimg as lucky! One or 2 days of that and i would have lost my mind irreparably. i just meant that sometimes having a schedule can play a hand in helping you out of this quagmire. (mainly because it gives you a place to start - you knoe what he theoretically needs next.) (Also, i guess trying to do bedtime with the two yr old would be easier for me if i knew when lo was going to wake up, etc, so that's why i said it was lucky. )
lots of {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}} . i think listening to your baby scream must be one of the hardest things in the world, esp. when you know what he needs and cant give it to him.
our 6.5 week old also has settling problems, esp. on me (as opposed to DH). and with older DS interrupting, it can well take hours. i think i'm seeing improvement, tho, and i am sure you will soon too!
Swaddle, and take deep breaths, and do kegels or something to break the intensity.

[HeatherC]

Can you ellobarate more on your posted routine.  Does he sleep from 7:20 to 11 am?  How does he act when he wakes from naps?
Just to reassure you, fussy evenings are very common in lo's.  They get very tired from the day's activities.

[Monijaye]

Heather, thanks for your reply.  He does have a very long morning sleep 3 - 3.5 hours.  We have a 2 year old who had unsettled afternoons and I am aware that a fussy period in the afternoon is very common.  My concern is that this goes on for so many hours (minimum of 5 most days). 

When he wakes from his naps he is generally happy and smiling.  His unhappiness happens when we start to put him down.  He may whinge slightly before we put him down, he actually whinges before he yawns so I take that as his first tired sign. 

Does that help

Adele

[HeatherC]

At that age, we hate to "wake a sleeping baby", but I'm wondering if all that sleep early in the day and the long gap between feeds then makes it hard for him to settle in the late afternoon.  I really don't know what to suggest, I would have loved for my dd to sleep in the day when she was little (30 minute napper  ).  But she was a fussy baby as well, so I'm not sure I can really help.  I just wanted to let you know that was the thought that had crossed my mind.  If I were you, I'd ask Matthew's Mommy on the naps board.  She is so knowledgable!

[alex and danny]

My lo is 3.5 months now and it took us about 1 month  to help him fall asleep without crying; at 6 weeks he also cried and fussed when time for naps - he can now (past 4 days) sleep without crying!  For us there were a few things :  first he was overstimulated - the mellower the better.  The nights were inevitably harder - try to keep it as calm as possible, little noise, quiet interaction (Hard I know since its supper time and all...)  He might be overtired.... 4 hours is too long for a 6 week old - try 3 hours.  Swaddle - and stay calm yourself - they do sense our emotions.   I could tell my son still needed sleep (longer than 45min) when he cried after waking up for more than 5 min while I held him; he just didn't know how to get back to sleep - Sleeo training is essential try to look at Tracy's sleep interview.  Good luck!  If you have questions or just need to vent...I'll check bak later   :wink:

[Monijaye]

Thanks Heather.  I have thought the same thing about the long sleeps in the morning but I am lothe to wake him as it doesn't seem to make things any better when I have.  His routine yesterday was;

E 6.00
A
S 6.55

E 10.30
A
S 11.15

E 4.00
A bath
S 4.55 (it took him until 6.30 to settle much better than other afternoons)

E 9.00 (DF)
S 9.15

E 2.00
S 2.15

He went such a long time between feeds (we decided not to wake him) that he actually dropped a feed for the day.  He is putting on heaps of weight each week so I don't think he is suffering by going so long between feeds.

I will check out the sleep forum also, thanks. 

Alex & Danny - Thank you for your input.  He has always been on a 4 hour routine and again I am reluctant to wake him for 3 hours when he goes so long now between feeds.  It is hard enough waking him for 4 hours.  What benefits would there be to waking him every 3 hours?  If I were to do this would I reduce his formula for each feed because he would be getting an extra feed in the day?   

I just feel so confused, it seems when I try to change things or implement the routine in a more structured manner we have more problems and he is upset for longer periods of time.  We did EASY with our daughter when she was about 3 months and it all fell into place, it seems so much harder this time.  I am wondering if it is because he is so much younger. 

Thanks again

Adele

[1sttime]

I also have 6 week old and seem to be having the same problem. We have had some good days, but most of the time the afternoons are miserable. Some days he doesn't settle at all from 4pm to 9pm. It's hard to know what to do. I also feel like when I try to tighten up the schedule things just get worse. I would love to have a more precise schedule, but it just doesn't seem possible right now. I've tried being very quiet or even having only enough time to change his diaper for wake time,but nothing works. I've read from some places that things get better after 6weeks, I hope this is true.