pu/pd with 11 month old; whats going wrong???

[terri-sian]

Help!!  I have been trying to teach my textbook 11 month old to fall asleep independently and have been trying to do the pu/pd for almost 2 weeks now but it seems to be getting worse! 

 My question is how do you do pu/pd with a standing crawling 11 month old?  So far I started off with some quiet book reading until she was calm and seemed sleepy.  Then I put her in the cot, maybe with my hand on her and sometimes she has just gone to sleep with just a bit of patting and one or two put downs. (obviously the first few times it was much more than this!)  But sometimes she has started off quietly and seems to nearly go to sleep, but then just seems to work herself up into a state so that she won't calm down with any amount of picking up (well, as much as I've managed anyway) I've stayed with her all the time but she just seems to get more and more upset.  Am I disturbing her by trying to pat her?  I've tried just leaving my hand there and not patting but last night  that was one of the worst nights I've had and I ended up giving her Calpol and then breastfeeding her after 2hours! 

Basically I think I must be doing something and am sure I haven't been consistent; sometimes I've ended up practically holding her with my arm under and over her (as I understood from Traceys book) but in the cot.  i've even got in the cot with her (I'm very small!).  Last night none of this worked. 

So please can someone give me a step by step guide for this in between age; I couldn't really understand when to leave alone, when to pat, can I /should I go out while she is happy but awake and standing?  Do I pick up when she starts to cry immediately even if she doesn't stand up?  (that is one of the key points for me I think).  and when Tracey says baby will cry, does she really mean this hysterical crying and will my baby just calm down??  Help !

[mommyjill]

Sorry I don't have much advice for you. We're starting PU/PD tomorrow night with our 10 1/2 month old. I nurse her several times during the night and that's how she usually goes to sleep - that or rocking. I'm super nervous about how it's going to go. We tried it at 6 months and it worked after a week or so - but it was much easier then. But I do know that she cried hysterically for hours! It was tough. I think when your daughter is happy and standing you are just suppoosed to softly tell her it's bedtime and lay her back down and act as though you are going to leave the room. I think eventually she won't be so happy anymore and start crying - hopefully which will lead to sleep. As far as when to pick up, I think you pick her up once she really starts crying (but that may be different for an older baby) ~ ahh I don't know either! I need to reread the chapter on 8-12 month olds.

Did you read the interview with Tracy at the top of this board? I just read it last night and that might help clarify some things for you.

Keep us posted as to how it's going. Good luck and I know I'll need it too!!!

Jill

[terri-sian]

Thanks so much for the reply, and good luck with your 'go' too.  I am feeling really great cos my hubby did the bedtime tonight and she went to sleep no problem!    

He did it all much slower and calmer than I have been which just proves my point that I was stopping her falling asleep by trying to help too much.  He did a much longer cuddle to start with before putting her in the cot and no talking, shushing or patting, just left his hand under her head by her cheeck (she has always liked that) and 20mins later he was downstairs!! :lol:

Now I have to try to do the same at nap time tomorrow...... :?   wish me luck!

[mommyjill]

I'm glad you've had some success. We tried it last night for the first time. It didn't go well AT ALL! It took my hubby 1 hour and 40 minutes to get her to sleep. She slept for 6 hours (which was great and unheard of) but then woke at 2:30 and cried literally for 2 hours straight while he was in there doing pu/pd. Finally I went in and tried and it just made it worse. I just got her up, fed her, and ended up nursing her to sleep at 6:00 am. She slept for 20 minutes and now we are awake and beyond exhausted and my husband and I are fighting..............AHHHH. I don't know what to do. This has to work. Let me know how things are going for you. I can't give up already, but I don't know how I'm going to handle her nap in a few minutes!!!

Jill
jmlknight@earthlink.net

[terri-sian]

OMG, poor you.  I hope nap time went ok for you.  I think you have to hang in there and trust that it will get better.  My hubby is in the room right now with our daughter and I'm just hoping it will go ok.  My attempts at nap time today were a complete disaster and I ended up getting her up at the end of her morning nap without any sleep at all :cry:
I think we may have to just choose our 'battle' for the moment and concentrate on him getting her to sleep at night because I just seem to be causing a real cot phobia which she has never had before.  What am I doing wrong?   :?
Good luck with yours and please let me know how it goes.