I'm ready to give up. :( Naps have regressed...

[Sarah O]

I am feeling SO discouraged and like a complete failure.  Baby boy basically cries all day because of his inability to nap, and my inability to help him.  I'm just exhausted.  I spend my whole day trying to help him, while my baby girl gets by with minimal attention and interaction from me.  It's like she's being punished because of the problems with my baby boy.  I thought we were making progress with these naps.  For a few days, they were both having at least one long nap per day (instead of the usual 30-45 min ones) but the last few days, baby boy has completely regressed and now he seems worse than before.  He now seems terrified to go to sleep at all.  I wonder if maybe he's been traumatized by all the exhuberant shhh/patting?

Anyway, no real questions here I guess.  Just venting and feeling like a failure.  Thanks for listening.

Sarah

[Meg's Mom]

Sarah - big HUGS!

I am sorry you are having such trouble w/ the LOs.

First let me tell you regression is very normal during sleep training!  And nap training is the hardest of all to do.  So you are not a failure, they are just learning (you too if you are first time mom) so this all new to everyone.

If you like i would happy to try to help.  Let me know, i'll check back.

[Sarah O]

Thanks Michelle.  Yes, I'd be grateful for any and all help.  I imagine you'll need to know our routine, etc so here goes...by the way, the babes are 4 months (corrected for prematurity).  Obviously the times on this are rough and vary somewhat day to day...

6:30 awake
7 feed
8:00 wind down, nap (length varies greatly...45 mins up to two hours!)
next nap if previous was a short one
11am feed
Noon wind down, nap
next nap if previous was a short one
3pm feed
From here on it's a mess...sometimes a catnap, sometimes not...always lots of crying from overtiredness....
6pm baths
6:30pm feed
7pm bed

I know the activity times seem remarkably short.  I've tried extending them but it's a disaster each time, even with keeping things really low key so I've decided to follow early sleepy cues instead to try to avoid the late afternoon meltdowns.

Baby girl is textbook/touchy and baby boy is spirited/touchy (yeeha)

TIA!

Sarah

[Meg's Mom]

I know the activity times seem remarkably short. I've tried extending them but it's a disaster each time, even with keeping things really low key so I've decided to follow early sleepy cues instead to try to avoid the late afternoon meltdowns.

Can you tell me:
-at what age did you tried to extend it
-for how long (1 day, 1 week, etc)
-from what A time to what A time did you extend to?

Cuz, IME the short naps at 4+ mos are usually caused by a short A time. Although for the spirted LOs, i have read, benefit from shorter A times.

Also it would be helpful to know:
-how long have they been doing the short naps?
-what is your windown?

I don't have a lot of experience w/ multiples, so any additional input from others is welcomed. I am also going to consult our board for some additional support here...so hang on.

Other tips in the meantime - i recommend:
Swaddle, use white noise and have room dark (pretty dark, dark).