Suddenly going wrong - need help thinking this through

[Guava]

Dd 9.5weeks and suddenly everything is unravelling - especially eating - and I would really appreciate any help or ideas because I think eating is behind the other problems.

Weeks 1-3 were great.  We were on EASY in a place close to the hospital.

Week 3/4 we moved home.  Dd got a cold and was put on cardac and antibiotics.  Cold didn't go away.  Accidentally parented by holding/ rocking/walking to sleep as she could breath better that way, held up, rather than lying down.

Started to get back on track as cold got a bit better around week 7, despite the assistance of eldest dd 'helping' that generally overstimulted, or woke the baby or prevented sleeping in sleep window so baby got overtired.  Eventually was sleeping in crib with sush pat.

Then we found mold in the a/c and moved out.  Tried to stay on track, but then had to fly back to the hospital town which messed up routine again.

Found a place to live for a month business trip and trying to get on track again.  Eldest dd now doing school, so have a bit more time to get this right.  Problem is I'm getting it wrong.

Baby is struggling on the breast.  Has been for a while.  Found that this was to do with an overactive let down/supply and resolved this by pumping off the first bit.  When she struggled again was generally because had gas or needed to move onto activity.  Has had problems from time to time not so much with gas as explosive wind and crunches up tummy like she has a cramp.  Gradually got this all right and she ate for 20-35 mins every 3 hours, waking twice a night.

The only bottle she was getting was either a dream feed or night time from dh.

Now she has been screaming if I try and put her to the breast and my supply has really dropped when I do a yield.  i know this is to be somewhat expected as things even out, but this has just plumeted and she is frustrated and not getting what she needs from me.  She is now almost hunger striking on the breast or at most eating for 10 mins only then crying and pushing or turning away.  Burping her doesn't make her more willing to try again, although any discomfort she shows seems to go when she burps.

She will reject the breast, but happily demolish a 4/5oz bottle.

She will also eat more comfortably from the breast if I dream feed her or feed her when she is not fully awake at night and graze for 35-40mins then suckle.

Then she squirms uncomfortably most time I try and get her asleep showing all the signs of tummy ache and has really explosive wind that seems to bother her until she gets it out or poos.  Her tummy/wind/poo or small spit up wakes her up and even with a shush pat for the entire S session she sometimes doesn't get into a really deep sleep.  Other times she dozes off happily on her own.

I think she is snacking by day, eating at night, is habitually waking, is only wanting bottles suddenly and has tummy problems, possibly even mild reflux.

I realise that we have moved her from pillar to post and that it is not surprising that she is having problems, especially with her cold added into the mix.

I am now exhausted and can't see the wood for the trees.  How do I get her back onto the breast if I am not producing enough?  What should her routine be if I am to get milk supply back up, how do i stop the night wakings - (I tried waking her early, but she just switches times hungry every couple of hours ), what do I do about her tummy waking her, what do I do to get the sush pat right if she is upset in her crib? how does shush pat differ from pu/pd how do I...?

Any and all ideas about ALL this and the meaning of life really welcome. I need to get this right for her as she is so uncomfortable for sleeping and eating - otherwise she is smiley and happy.

Thanks

[annamum]

Hi,

I understand where you are coming from, you want to have it all worked out and under control. As you probably remember, first weeks are so difficult and even babies on a great routine surprize parents and do things out of ordinary. I think you need to relax, you probably won't get everything straightened at once.

Don't blame yourself for accidental parenting, you did what you had to in order to make your lo comfortable. I guess that having a toddler around is also making everything more difficult. Try to get breastfeeding working first, then work on other issues.

 :arrow: Eating for 10 minutes only is actually quite normal at this age. If you are concerned that she doesn't get enough, try breast compression, squeeze your breast while your baby is still sucking on it but slowed down. If you want more info on that, let me know.

Babies can go on a nursing strike around age of 3 months or 8 months. The fact that she takes a bottle can be a part of a problem, she doesn't need to work as hard to get her milk out of a bottle. As you said, she will nurse if you dreamfeed her when she is sleepy or sleeping. Here is more info on nursing strikes and how to overcome them: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html

 :arrow: To preserve your supply while nursing strike is on, you will need to pump. You can freeze it and offer her later when she is old enough to have some cereal with it. Pump around times she would usually have her feed or at least every 3 hours if not more often. Once she is back to breast, we will help you find ways to increase your supply.

I know that things look bad right now, but I do assure you that it will get better :lol:.