20 month old refuses to sleep on his own...what do I do?????

[korenv]

Hi!

I feel like I would like to lose my sanity, just for a while, so I could get some rest!!!   I'm the mother to a 4 year old, 20 month old and 5 month old.

Everything went haywire when ds#2 either ithced from his eczema or started to teethe (can't remember!) and started to wake up during the night.  At that point he was in his crib and was sleeping through the night and having his naps very well. ( That was @ 2 months ago. )   He would toss and turn in his crib and hit his head and feet against the crib (accidently).  I though since ds#3 was growing out of his bassinet anyway that maybe the older one would sleep better in a twin sized bed.

So I layed down with him during his naps to get him accustomed to the new bed.  This, I realize, is a big no-no!  But keep in mind, I had a smaller baby who also needed his sleep and being quiet was key.  He started to wake up during the night, which I thought was normal since we just started this thing and has been doing it ever since.

I would sleep with the kid until he was 5 if he would actually sleep!  He tosses and turns and sometimes he's up for 2-3 hours before he finally passes out from exhaustion.  I can't do this by myself, of course, especially since my 5 month old is in the lovely habit of waking up 3 times a night himself, so my husband is generally in charge of ds#2.  Needless to say, neither of us have gotten any sleep in weeks and I'm at my wits end!  I'm too tired during the day to even look at my kids and I feel I'm really missing out on special things they do everyday.

Can anyone help?  Thanks if you have any information or any sympathy.!!!

KV

[Maddy's Mum]

Hi there,

What does his day look like at the moment - is he having a nap during the day? If you tuck him in and do his bedtime routine at night and then leave him to go to sleep - what happens?

Thanks
Dee
x

[korenv]

Hi, Dee:

Sorry for not answering back sooner!  He does nap during the day.  My husband leaves for work at 6:00 a.m. and lately everyone has been waking up at that time.  As a result, my 20 month old gets tired early on and usually has an early nap.  He also used to have an afternoon nap, but since he started having trouble sleeping I thought maybe I should eliminate one of them. 

If he sleeps in the morning and I stop his afternoon nap, by evening he overtired which doesn't allow for a great sleep.  On the other hand when he's up so early in the morning he can't help but fall asleep, like he did yesterday, on the kitchen floor.  (Best nap he's had, by the way!)  Either way, nothing seemed to be making a difference.

I had kept a schedule with him by bathing him in the evening, relaxing (which is almost impossible in this house!)  and then laying him down.  Before I took him out of the crib he would eventually lay down on his own and go to sleep.  (This was before the teething episode).

What he wants to do now is take his favorite blanket and have one of us sit with him on the rocker until he falls asleep.  We would do this when he was ill and all else failed to soothe him to sleep.

But the last two nights, for whatever reason he has slept the night in his crib.  Go figure???

KV

[B1PZNT49]

hello...well it's nice to hear someone else in my boat but unfortunetly i don't have the answer...in march of this year, we moved, i went back to work full time and my son started a brand new day care full time and also went from crib to bed...all at the age of 2..of course he was overwhelmed as he doesn't do well with change anyway so this was too much for him...so......... we too, layed with him in the new bed to comfort him at sleep time..he is now 2 years 8 months and will absolutely not go to bed by himself....fortunelty it only takes us about 20 minutes and he's asleep and we can slip out but he will wake 2-3 times in the night and freak out until we do the same motions...we also have  6 week old so this makes things very tiring and stressful...i keep telling myself he won't do it when he is 5, i hope? so we are baring with it at the moment....

[korenv]

Hi!

Seems no one has any advice for us!  It's easier when you only have one!!!  (those were the days!)

I find if my son has regular naps during the day he'll sleep much better at night.  The last two nights he slept the night (even woke up and put himself back to sleep) and was such a wonderful boy the next day.  Unfortunately I can't always guarantee that he'll take his naps.  Right now he's tired because last night he was up so I put him in his crib and he's screaming.  I know he wants me to hold him until he sleeps.  Maybe I will if that will mean he'll have a good night.

These days anything goes!!!

KV