March/April Thread #3

[Judy]

As for early TT - yup been doing it for a few months now.  Just at bath time though.  I sit them on the toilet and tell them to go pee and I'd say 90% of the time they do.  Been at it since long before they could hold themselves up.  It was easier than changing the bath water each time

I did the same with Sarah and then by 16months she was in pullups and telling us when she had to go.  Biggest benefit was that there was no fear of the toilet at all.

She was out of diapers completely by 18months day/night.  Although we still do have some accidents (as mentioned earlier

[Olivia's Mommy]

Richelle--So glad you're getting to visit your mom. It sounds like she is REALLY enjoying it. Wish her a happy birthday from all of us.

We found out we were having a girl at about 18 weeks. I'm a "planner" and I didn't feel I could adequately "plan" for the baby without knowing its gender. I'm so glad we did.

Another question on the topic, did you "know" what you were having before you found out? I had always wanted boys, but whenever I thought about the baby, I would think of it as a girl, which I thought was weird. So, when the ultrasound tech said, "It's definitely a girl." I wasn't surprised. DH, on the other hand was a little stunned. His face said, "A girl?!?! I don't know anything about girls!! What do I do with a girl!?!?" He now admits that did go through his head. But of course we wouldn't trade her for any boy in the world now. And she has Daddy wrapped around her little finger already!

[Colesmom]

to be honest, DH and I really wanted a girl.  I have 3 brothers and he has 4 so well, we just wanted a little girlie to spoil.  I therefore wanted to be mentally prepared for a boy just in case.  Not that I would be disappointed...but ykwim, right?  We found out at 18 weeks and it took until the week before to decide on his name.  We had 5 girls names ready as soon as we found out we were pg, and one boys name.  It was Aiden and when I saw it at the top of the name list it was bye bye.  Sad because it was my favourite since I'd been 13 years old.  Lauren and Aiden...those were my names.  Girls names were Lauren, Ellen, Ann (both grandma's and part of my name), Emily and one other I can't think of.  I hated my middle name ellen growing up but would prefer it as my first name now.  Funny huh? 

okay, maybe we will get outside.  feeling cooped up.

OH sheesh-Q re: humidifiers...anyone have one in los room?  We just bought one and it says not to put in a closed childs room-risk of over humidity :?   maybe i have to buy one specifically for his room?  wanted to put it in his room because his snot dried out last night and thought that might be uncomfortable.  mmmm, snot.  the things we discuss here!

[mickymuscles]

hi girls

I'll be at the chat tonight for sure!!

macaire...to me it totally sounds like ben has an ear infection.  I'd go get it checked.

Snot....Jack has been having a very runny nose lately.  His whole nostril will get plugged off.  I've been using Q-tips lately to get them out.  How do these lo's get such big boogers???!!!!!

We didn't find out the sex of Jackson.  But I had a pretty strong feeling before he was born that it was a boy.  Jackson wasn't even on our short list of names for boys.  But he didn't look like any of the names we had picked out....Liam, Aiden, Ethan.  He just looked like a Jack.  A wrinkly old man. 

I might be meeting up with Jody today....very excited. I hope it works with Jack.

[sophieandhannah]

I feel like I need to write a warning at the beginning of this post...Warning, needy bw posting...

I have just been in a funk for the last few days.  Thinking about going back to work and gearing up for it is really depressing me. 

When I got pg, I knew I would, at the very least, take the rest of the school year off, and through the summer.  I also knew for sure I wasn't going to go back in Sept, but it took me awhile to decide when I would go back, and even longer to make my decision public.  I wanted to take the whole year and go back Sept 2006 but after weighing the pros and cons,(pre-beauftiful baby in my arms ) finally decided it would be better to go back mid year.   I would be allowed to keep my position, my classroom, etc.  We could use the money etc, etc...
Another factor in my decision was parents of kids at my school, I teach in a very small community where everyone knows everyone.  There was only one other choice for a 4th grade teacher for these people, and not a very good one.  Parents were very vocal about wanting me as their child's teacher.  I wish I didn't care, but I guess it had an effect on me.   
So like I said, all of this added up to my decision to go back "mid year".  After informing my principal, he talked me into coming back after the first tri-mester, which is why I go back at such an odd time.
So that's the background.  I feel totally obligated to go back, and frankly at this point, I think it is financially necessary, although had I made a different decision, we could have made it work (that is hard to know).
So I keep thinking, I will go back, finish this year off and then reevaluate for next year.  It's not forever, I have lots of breaks etc...
But I am just devestated about leaving my child.  It just doesn't even seem real that someone else is going to be caring for my child more often than I will.  I am just a wreck about it.
Of course I thought...oh I will be desparate to get back to work.  and...it's good for a mother to go back and for a child to have realtionships with other people...and...children shouldn't get too dependant on their mothers. They need to learn how to let others care for them.  In fact I have been so awful to friends in the past who have chosen to stay home (Bec..I have eaten a lot of pre-baby statements)
Now with all this talk on the thread about Separation anxiety (which Sophie is definately experiencing...it breaks my heart when I see that panicked look on her face)
I just...argh...I'm just in a funk about it.  I have been occupying myself with the minutia...lunch menus...diaper bag checklists etc...but I cannot deny the fact that I am just really truly sad that I cannot coninue to be the #1 caregiver to my child.
Thanks for listening.  Anyone have any sage advice, or words to make me feel better?
Even hugs are much appreciated.
Thanks.
Hannah

[Arwyn's mom]

Hannah... {{{HUGS}}} I know this was a very difficult decision to follow through on. I think lots of pre-baby decisions are. You are absolutely entitled to feel sad, out of sorts and not knowing what to do-ish. Would it help you to plan some days where you leave school right as the bell rings? Nobody has to know why you leave with the kids and just make sure that everybody in your school knows that on that day (or those days) that you dash outta there pronto! Then you know that you have reserved some time to be with Sophie and BTW, you will always be her #1 caregiver - you are her mommy! (And, don't fill this time up with errand running... it is just for you and Sophie time. It will be hard to let go of the "must-dos" but Sophie is a "must-do" too.)

On the same note, I know what it is like to be a teacher... plan one day that you stay late to prep everything in sight. I used to do this at least once a week, then if something comes up and I have to leave early, I know that the next lessons are prepared (usually for up to a week at a time). Also, if you have teacher assistants (we don't anymore), get them to help you out with routine tasks, then you know they are taken care of (i.e. putting worksheets in duotangs, sticker-ing work, putting notices into student mailboxes, etc.)

Take care of yourself whenever you need to too. Learn to say "no" to extra-curricular activities, clubs, other meetings, etc. It will be hard, especially in a small community. I teach in a very small school so I understand that in your very small staff, you feel obliged but it is temporary until you feel ready to share your time again.

I hope this helps a little bit. I am a bit anxious myself so, when the time comes, I am sure you will be a pro at it and I will be coming to you for some support! Lots of {{{{HUGS}}}} to you, Hannah.

[Olivia's Mommy]

Hannah--{{{{HUGS}}}} to you. I wish I had great words of insight or advice (like Ankie...great advice by the way!), but I can offer my encouragement and let you know that we're always here to listen if you need a shoulder to cry on. Hang in there...you'll be great.

Traci--we ended up getting a whole-house humidifer (our house isn't that big). The air is REALLY dry in our house, and DH and I are both sensitive to it (dry skin, dry nasal passages, etc.) We had one in our room that we ran at night, so instead of getting another one for her room, we got a larger one that works for the entire house. It works pretty good. On really cold nights that the heater runs, we run our humidifier too, sort of as backup I guess.

Did everyone pick names before their LO arrived, or did you wait? We had it narrowed to 3 when I went in to labor. (We also had a difficult time finding girls names we liked, but had a ton of boys names!!) They were: Reagan, Aubrey, and Olivia. It was funny because each week we would like a different one. I joke that if she'd come a week earlier her name would have been Aubrey instead. I didn't like the fact that Olivia was in the top 5 most common names, but it was one of the few that DH and I REALLY liked, and it helped that we don't actually know anyone with a child named Olivia.

[Arwyn's mom]

Traci... no humidifier here but the doctor did recommend one. My DH seems to think it will make her room colder??? Anybody know?

We picked out names before we were pg!! Yes, we are both anal retentive. However... the boy's name we picked was James Ethan. Then, a friend had a baby and named him Ethan Jacob... then another one, Ethan James... so... that name was out the window. Then it was James Zachary. James is my DH's name and his father's so... I like tradition.

We also picked Arwyn's name early. James loved "Arwen" from LOTR, the elfin princess. I made him prove to me it was a "real" name before I would agree on it.  :wink: It is... so, it stayed. I picked "Ophelia" from Midsummer Night's Dream (my favourite Shakespeare play). The spelling of Arwen changed to Arwyn after she was born and we asked our friends and family for their opinion. The "y" makes it "look" more feminine.

We did not find out Arwyn was a girl until she was born. All through my pregnancy, we thought she was a he. We referred to her as he, him the whole 9 months. We didn't know, but I was so sure! Doesn't matter though, we love her just the same!

[Richelle]

1.  i re-read my post and stating that my decision to stay home and nuture my relationship with Sophie just sounds soooo INSENSITIVE to all of you working.  I did not mean anything by it or think that what I am doing is even the right decision.  I am TOTALLY blessed to have this option financially ect...  PLease Please do not take any offence by my statement..

2.  Hannah, I could have been writing your post word for word 5 months ago.  I did it with an open mind, knowing that DH could fully support us (in every way) if I decided to pack it in.  I too made alot of decisions pre-baby that were a little bit too final, lessons learned I guess.  I had enormous pressure as well to get back to work from so many different angles and I considered all of these but left out the most important; ME!  I think you need to give it a try and always know that you control what goes on in your life no one else and as long as you are confident and happy with your decision then it will reflect on Sophie.  What helped me was giving myself time 'milestones' to make it easier.  For example, when I went back I said to myself, "Self, you have 2 weeks to try and get back into the flow of things, do not dwell on your decision, come wholehearted to where you are RIGHT NOW and deal with your anxieties in 2 weeks."  Then I would go another 2 weeks ect ect...KWIM? 

{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you!

Lisa I forgot to say ealier that i was LOL at James pooing on the floor!!

Have I mentioned that my lips are chapped and Sophies cheeks and chin are :shock:  :?   Was it auqafor or something else I should look for for super dry skin?

[sophieandhannah]

OMG...first of all...keep em coming ladies   I KNEW you could make me feel better...still extremely needy here though   If I was 7-8 months old it would be a very "clingy day"  I guess I am having seperation anxiety.

Richelle. Your post was not insensitive at all, I totally understand.  I also really like you idea about 2 weeks at a time.  You are right.  I do control my decisions and if it's just too hard, then I can change my mind.  If the parents of my students don't understand a parent wanting to be with her child...well..I guess that's their problem.  But for now, 2 weeks at a time, I love it.

Ankie.  Great ideas about time management and saying no.  I already have two "extras" and honeslty, I am going to say no to everything else!  There is a meeting on the day I get back..optional, and I am just not going to go.  My priorities are elsewhere...at 3:30...I am thinking Sophie, not school.  Tough cookies people.  The prep day idea is really good too.  I can do that on the days when MIL has Sophie.

And thanks everyone for the hugs.  I really appreciate it...like I said keep em coming
Can't wait to chat with you tonight.
Also...Aiden was one of our boy names too!!!! Funny huh?  We found out Sophie was a girl asap.  Sophia/Sophie was always my girl name...kinda wnated to name Hannah but thought it was too, oh I don't know, something.  Also didn't want" little hannah"  or hannah jr. ? lol
uh oh, baby awake.
Thanks you guys.  I would seriously be lost without you bw's.
Hannah

[Olivia's Mommy]

Isnt' it funny how we are so opinionated about parenthood BEFORE we have kids? I always knew I wanted to stay home once I had kids, and I sort of "judged" those who went back to work. Now that I have a child, I have SO MUCH RESPECT for working mothers!! I seriously don't know how you guys do it! There are some days (fewer now, thankfully) that I can't seem to manage baby, house, and my own personal hygiene! I can't imagine going to a job on top of it all. While I know my decision to stay home was the right one for me (and I'm blessed to be able to do some work from home to help out financially), my hat's off to all you girls who do the working mom thing! You are amazing!

I think we are all truly blessed, and I think Richelle is right...the ultimate decision is what is best for you and your baby. You can't do anything b/c others are pressuring you. Stand your ground and don't be afraid to stand up for your family, and your own sanity!

[Colesmom]

Hannah- I love Ankies advice.  Sage Ankie-always knows just what to say :wink:   You will ALWAYS be Sophies #1.  No one can replace a mommy   Go back for now and see how you feel.  There is always time to change your mind.  If you feel like you need to be with Sophie then you can explore other options. Part time tutoring perhaps.  You can bring in extra money and do it evenings and weekends when DH can watch Sophie. Nothing is written in stone.  This need not be forever.  Big hugs to you as you venture into this new experience for you all....

as for humidifiers.  We have a whole house one but it's a cold air humidifier and I don't like it.  The one we just bought is a warm air one.  Ankie-humid air makes the air feel warmer btw, regardless of whether it's cold or warm air.  It feels cooler right near the cold air one though. HTH


To be honest about my feelings going back to work (sorry to hijack your topic hannah):

I don't want to go back to my current job.  hate the place and it's not family friendly. But I think if I were to find the right place with the right work and hours I wouldn't hesitate to go back.  I honestly doubt whether I'm cut out for this motherhood thing and it's tearing me up.  I always thought my parents had kids because it was what they were supposed to do.  They don't really get involved in our lives and although they love us I don't remember them "playing" with us, doing homework etc.  We didn't have the easter bunny, we did halloween but never a pumpkin etc.  No fun childhood stuff like that.  I sooooooooooo don't want to be my parents!

I just feel as though all I do is think about Cole's sleep!  I worry about it constantly and cannot relax.  MIL is coming to watch Cole tomorrow evening and i"m thinking of all the things i have to tell her.  It's freaking me out.  She's had 5 boys for crying out loud-you'd think I would think she could handle it.  which she can of course.

Maybe i'll feel different when he's older and can communicate and stuff?  I love him to bits, I really do, but I just find myself not interested in playing with him all the time. I do play with him of course, but can't do so the whole time he's awake or I'd go bonkers.  Someone please tell me I'm not alone here.  Maybe it stems from me NEVER getting out?  I mean, I've had maybe 3 outings of more than 5 hours since he's been born. 

Gosh-this has nothing to do with going back to work :oops:  I just hope I'm a good mommy and that I grow to want to spend more time with him.  It makes me feel so horrible right now, and resentful.
okay, maybe we can discuss this at chat.  clearly i need some rest or AF is around the corner.  i'm all blubbery.

again, sorry hannah- you just really got me thinking.

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Hannah, I understand where you're coming from, as you know from me answering your 'back to work' thread I went back when Nathan was 11mths old, it was originally meant to be earlier, but I kept extending out the months as I wasn't ready.  I had actually made the decision when he was 6mths old that I wasn't going back (and financially we are pretty strapped on one income but it works since I know it's only for a few years).  What made me change my mind was my mum saying, if you give it a try and if it doesn't work out then there's nothing lost, but you won't know unless you give it a go.  This time around I won't be going back to work and I'm also ok with that decision. 

Baby's sex: well I suck in the intuitive department!  I'm also a planner and hate surprises.  With Nathan I could have sworn I was having a girl, found out at 18wks she was a he and totally shocked, mourned a little for the girl but just fell in love with the idea of a boy.  Only one name came to mind the whole way through and it stuck.  Then Danielle's pregnancy, I really wanted another boy since I thought they were just the coolest, even thought I was having a boy since the pregnancy was almost identical to my first (if you look at all the old wives tales), found out at 19wks he was a she and went through the shock and mourning again.  :roll:  :lol:   Anyway, just loving having my two!

Think we'll start with the TT, must get the book out for a read on what's what.  I was putting D over the potty when she was younger for entertainement purposes for Nathan and it helped him with his TT.  :lol:

[solnme]

Good Morning!!

Hannah {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}  Man these ladies give good advice!  It takes so much strength to do what you're doing.  And it really is a selfless act to make the needs of your students a priority.  I wish I had had a teacher like you when I was in elementary.  Sounds like you are ready to say no when it matters (so important) and know that your guideance for Sophie will not diminish. 

Lisa - LOL at the poo story.  I would be dry heaving like your DH. Leaks are a big fear for me but I know I'm going to have many opportunities to get over it.  Eh, Judy  :wink: Toooo funny!

Also what an inspiration to start early TT!  I hear boys take a little longer to get it in general.  Is that true?

Richelle - what a wicked surprise for your Mom's bday.  I don't know what's wrong with me but I teared up reading your post. 

Traci - totally hear you on the 'they're growing too fast' tip.  Sol is using his sippy cup without assistance, crawling, slowly but making it from one end of the carpet to the other.     Two days ago during dinner he did the 'all done' sign.  I 'm asking him why he keeps throwing his arms up and not eating?!  It took me a minute to realize what he was doing. And he did it AGAIN yesterday. 

2 weeks of night wakings and I'm starting to get worried.  Last night @ 9, 3, 5 and 6.  He was hungry @ 5 and 6 (no DF last night) but come on!  I made DH get up both times not realizing till this morning that he came home at 2am after a night out with the boys.  He didn't even complain about it.

We didn't find out what we were having because I love, love surprises.  I 'knew' it was a boy and always wanted one.  My brother has two girls and we needed some more rough and tumble in the family.  All my 10 year old and 13 year old nieces do is talk about boys.  I was so not into boys for a long time and would rather beat on them than kiss them.  I would tell people that I thought it was a girl sometimes so I wouldn't be disappointed if it was a girl.  Silly me, I know I would  have been thrilled either way.

Lots of cooking today.  I made Sol Jambalya, Green Paella, Mangos and Carrots.  He's been bored with his food lately and I've been feeling bad about the lackluster way he eats his dinner and grabs at anything I put in my mouth.

Quiet day today so I'll probably be chatting again soon.

[Colesmom]

Roz- I need to spice up Coles menu as well.  Guess I'm just nervous introducing real food when he doesn't have teeth yet :?   by the way, how's the boob?  if you didn't clear it then maybe your flow is too slow and he's not getting a good feed?  mind cleared that same night.