March/April Thread #3

[Nikki~Nathan&Danielle]

Micky, glad to hear the flight went well - what are some people thinking when they say crap like that?!  Fortunately I've never had strangers say give me that sort of comment (I just get family LOL).

OMG that would be hillarious!! I can just picture it propped up waiting for the next big fire!!  Take a picture for me!! (now *I* have tears!!) Gosh girl it's too bad we live so far apart - we could have FUN!!

I wish I lived close to a lot of the gals on this site *sigh*.  I'm kinda looking forward to what "my" book is now heehee!

I've used a lot of "our house" "we" statements that make my point and point out that it's both dh & I and that don't invite further input. Like "we don't spank in this house", "we agree that...." etc.

That's a good tactic, I think I will do that.  I need to go back and collect together some responses you've all given me and play them over in my head.  I always think of this stuff AFTER the drama and wish I could have thought of it in the moment.

Gosh can you tell this so hits home with me? I'm like a dog with a bone eh? grrrrrr

This is great for me too, it's not something I've probably explored enough and stew on it since I don't have anyone to share it with, so it's actually been really good therapy for me.  Gosh our little thread's like a little global soap opera.

Hannah & Bec

My kids ALWAYS used manners/ate all their tea/did chores etc etc blah blah blah. I think maybe her kids did all that because they were SCARED of their father - that is not something to brag about if you ask me.

I think they forget as well.  But then I guess that can be a good thing, just not good for the kids when they pass on the "you never did....".  I soooo have to remember that and never torture my kids or their partners that way. 

Oh, yeah, forgot to add, Nikki, Deb made a list of some good canned responses to use with her in laws in the Lounge perhaps. It had some really good ones!

Kate, think I'll go check that out.

Well we had a wonderful day, Nathan is just such a different kid when I'm not trying to reign him in - I'm not even talking about letting him get away with stuff that I would have deemed inappropriate.  Just having fun and not worrying about things.  The amount of times today I've been going to give a response to him like "no we can't go to the park..." and actually just gone to the park for 20mins when driving home from the mall, heck we didn't have anything else to do, or instead of saying "Nathan put that CD down...." and said instead "hey, do you want to bring that over here and we'll have a little look at it" and put the CD into the laptop and have a listen.  It takes a lot more creativity, but it's soooo easy once you get into the frame of mind of letting go of expectations, unnecessary rules and a lot of it is based around "just because" (read: controlling).  Can't wait to get my UP book.

I bought Danielle a Nuby straw sipper today, she just wasn't getting the hang of the little free flow one, as soon as I sat it on the floor in front of her she leant over, put her lips over the straw and started sucking LOL.  She's suddenly stretched her activity time between #1 and #2 nap and is now awake 4hrs - kind of a pain, cause it offsets her and Nathans naptimes.  But it's actually nice to get some one-on-one time with her as well.

Well girls, thanks for being here for me today. 

[BiancaB]

Hello Girls
Thanks for your replys re Sienna.
I loved the last few pages, I had a good laugh! Kyan being a very sensitive chap, wakes up most naps with a scowl and always takes awhile to warm up to visitors although he is great with those he knows very well. So I relate to the coments from all those caring ones who like to enforce "good behaviour"...
Try being the only "weirdO" who doesn't believe in corporal punishment in my community of friends..I am so proud of us)me and dh) for sticking to our gentle methods as you can see the difference in how he views us as his friends not just the two bosses!!
Anyway I love you Judy and Nikki and all those who try to think outside the square :wink:  Your very inspiring..
Sienna has settled on a 5 hr routine and has lessen with the biting..MUST be her little top teeth coming through.
Thought I'd post a fam pic..love your latest Judy..
Take care B

[becca24]

Anyways, this B*TCH said to me "Shame on you!".....I just about stood up and kicked her in the SN@TCH! GRRRRRR!

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
 
I would have knocked her out !! :wink:

[Richelle]

HI Girls,

Micky - I cannot stand the unsolicited advice and/or comments from strangers.  It is soooo common with caribbean women, I get them all the time, 'why don't you pierce your baby's ears, she looks like a boy' , 'can I wipe your baby's face, it's dirty', 'you really should make your own baby food (from the teller at the grocery store  :shock: )', 'you are going to give your baby a headache if you put ponytails in' - meanwhile you could bounce a quarter of her daughters face her flippin' braids are so tight.  Good for Jackson on the flights, I had never thought of gravol - Sophie pukes whenever we travel, duh!

Judy - I keep forgetting to say that your picture is Beautiful and ummmm 37?  Jeez you should do an ad for Oil of Olay or some such...HOTSTUFF!  You are so right about starting new and fresh, you would think I would be over this by now but it hits me again every once in awhile.  Oh except when I was packing/unpacking our house and could be over heard 'WTF, how in the name of god have we accumulated so much sh!t in one year?'

Bec - LMAO at the nickname 'fortnight'!!!  I am going to look into both organizations for sponsoring a child.   Doesn't it just hit home that the mango is so important....

Kate - I forgot what I was going to say, it will come to me and I will post later..

[Richelle]

Oh and I forgot Becc, those are crib bumpers.  I know alot of people namely Tracy, suggests not using them but I tell you I think it has saved Sophie many bumps and wakings and it has become sort of a lovey for her, i have gone in many times to find her cuddling it.  I will leave it until she figures out climbing up in her crib, then I will probably try and remove part of it so I can leave it as her lovey.

[albertasweetpea]

Kate - too funny about other people thinking you are a major geek for chatting online and all the other Mom's are too!! We were talking about DH's last night in chat (where the heck were you??) and how they call us Mommy Mafia and a cult etc...

Richelle - PEANUT BUTTER BLOSSOMS?? Sounds divine. Could you PM me (or email) me the recipe?? I am a pb hound.  Keep meaning to ask you too, are you a Canadian living in Cayman?? And how come?? Not really my business but I've always wondered how did you get lucky enough to live THERE as opposed to here in the snow and bluster??
Beautiful tree BTW!!! It would be very different to have Christmas with the sun out and +30!!  That is too sad about the hurricane and losing all your treasured possessions.

Bec - Molly does the "percy" too!! Hilarious!!  And I agree, the folks have definitely forgotten things from way back when. As if all the kids slept through the night at 2 weeks, ate like troupers, never cried or fussed, slept for 2 hour naps 3 times a day and stopped the bottle at 6 months. Come on!!

Judy - can't remember if I commented on your gorgeous picture, but I was surprised at how young you are!! You look awesome for having 2 toddlers and twin babies!! And I second the motion that DH is a hottie. No wonder all the girls are gorgeous!  Good for you for dealing up front with your parents!! You are such an inspiration! Love your sense of humour by the way, keeps me laughing all the time.

Holly - poor Brady with the tummy troubles, but congrats on the almost crawling!! Woooo wooooo go Brady! Love your little dancing Santa!

Micky - awesome news about Jack's travelling!! I would have definitely said something to the rude lady. Not like you were pouring whiskey down his throat!!  Some people are just too ignorant!  Is your BDay today?? Happy Birthday whenever it is, or was! Ice cream cake...Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Nikki - sounds to me like you could have written the UP book, never mind having it delivered to you, you don't need it! You are doing an awesome job with your little ones already! Have you read Barbara Colorosso?? A lot of the same parenting principles in there.  Thanks for the Nuby sipper cup tip. I think I'll get one for Molls. All she does with the other one is chew on it. Maybe it'll be easier for her with the straw...I dunno!

Biance - lovely family photo - how come all of us have such cute kids and gorgeous hubbies?? We are so blessed aren't we??


And...Molly is awake so gotta run. Weigh in day at WW. Gulp!!

[Erin M]

but for some reason there are not enough hours in the day recently

Naomi...ummm...gee, could it be that it's because you have 2 small kids, work full time at a new job, and Christmas is just around the corner.  I did get your card yesterday though and it's lovely.  Glad that Ri is sleeping better for you these days! 

a.) you are all a bunch of mass murderers trying to steal Ryan or b.) I am just a major geek for chatting online and you all must be too. I have got the exact same responce from friends/family especially A)

Hey, I had a hard enough time convincing DH that this wasn't the case, so I generally avoid telling most people about all of you! 

Kate - That's great about the kid that you sponsor - I don't think I ever realized it could go on for so long.  Oh, and in regard to your NJ comment - too long ago to quote - I grew up in NY, where NJ was looked at as this nasty place where no one wanted to live - DH and I lived in NC for a few years after undergrad when we were in grad school and his best job offer ended up being in NJ - I kept saying to him "You can't be serious move to NJ?!" - but as it turns out, it's actually a really nice place to live (well at least this part of it!). 

Nikki - I think I am now more excited to find out what you book is than for any Christmas present I might be getting.  So much anticipation!  And I love your thoughts with Nathan - sure, why can't we go to the park? - being a special ed teacher I always had smaller classes - 5/6 kids usually and I always tried to do that - sure, we can just read this story/talk about this topic/go off on this tangent/go outside and look for this thing we're talking about - so easy to get caught up in the pressures of what you "should" be doing sometimes.

Micky - Ridiculous the things people say - as this woman who has never even SEEN you before clearly knows what's best for Jack, who you've been caring for every day (and night!) of his life.  Glad you made it there ok - and sorry about the lost suitcase - hope it turns up.

Bianca - lovely pic - Reminds me of an Easter pic around here, but of course it actually IS warm where you are!

Bec - keep cool - sounds way too hot around you!

Holly - hope you get your nights sorted out soon!

Bye for now!

Richelle

Oh except when I was packing/unpacking our house and could be over heard 'WTF, how in the name of god have we accumulated so much sh!t in one year?'

- Isn't it amazing?  DH and I were moving every year for something like 4 years running and every time we moved it was the same thing.  The last time when we moved up here, we had movers, since it was due to DH's new job and they packed everything...absolutely everything.  I couldn't believe the amount of crap we hauled up here from NC to NJ that should have just been thrown in the dumpster.  Oh, and I love your tree.

[M&M'sMom]

Well I read a couple pages back, I have been a "out of commission" for about 5 days....

The colds are gone,no new teeth but WE ALL HAVE THE FLU!!! :cry:  :cry:  :cry:  :evil:  :evil:

Maisie, Makaylee and me! What a lovely combo... TMI here ladies sorry- but it is so bad that I have started to barf after cleaning up their barf....
Nice heh! Well Pediatrician said this flu lasts 10 days, take away all solids and just give them formula and pedialite, and Diovol before every meal... good grief!

Good thing is that (knock on wood) they have slept awesome 730-730/8am for the last week :shock: ! Yeah for the Thomas house!

I am sitting here right now trying to protect my pug from the girls... he is trying to eat in peace and they pick on him- poor Maiximus.

Bec- I love the Percy story (as noted above we have a lovely pug "Maximus Leroy Pugimus" he's a cool pug) and he just adores the girls... especially the whole dropping food off the high chairs bit!

Judy- You do look amazing after 4 babes, and your still a babe yourself  :wink: .I had to show Sean your family picture. First so he could see how awesome the kids all look in their bright sweaters, and 2nd to show him it is possible to survive (and look good while surviving) if "someday" we have another...  :lol:

Micky- Thats awesome that Jack was a little angel... I sooo know why everyone was smitten on the plane- Ladies this boy is a little looker!!!!

On the note of annoying "unauthorized" comments from strangers:
I wish I had a tail sometimes, because when people make those comments I would just smile, and as I walked away, My tail (which I image has a big man- hand on the end of it) would smack the person right square on the cheek... thats all. :lol:  Maybe I will ask for a tail for christmas, is it too late? (Im not asking for a piece of tail either ladies, I know some of your minds and how they work! :wink: )

As for the MIL situation we had chatted about the other night... she has not returned a phone call in 4 days. Sean finally called her at work. He excuse was that "it was too late when she got home to check the messages"... WTH??? Idiot. Press the button on the phone, there aren't "closing hours" on your voicemail :roll: .. well anyway when Sean talked to her she said we still aren't sure, but we wil probably come down on the night of the 23rd... they know we have plans (fake plans to make sure they leave) at noon... so whats the point? They wont be able to see the girls by the time they get here at 10pm, and then the girls are only up for a few hours before their nap in the am anyway.... she baffles me???

Judy- I think you are a stronger person than I for sticking up to your own family.... can you stick up for me and tell my MIL to go to he!! for me? Just a little Christmas wish, thanks.

Jods

whewey LOOONGGG heh  :oops:

[M&M'sMom]

Michelle, Richelle, I think we all posted at the same time...

M-Good luck at WW today! I think I may join in the new year, It will keep me on track. I started the excercise part, but the eating is rough (well the last couple days it has been slim-to-nil with the flu bug!)

As withe moving, I know the whole "where the he!! did all this come from... I think the goodwill loves Sean and I, we move every 2 years (no joke we have) and every time we drop off about 10 boxed to them... where do we get more of it???

have a great day ladies!
jods

[Judy]

Bianca - love the family pic!  So nice to see green grass and warm weather - so different that life here right now

I meant to add on the waking toddler/preschooler - Zoe ican be VERY grump when waking from a nap these days.  AND if someone is here when she wakes that makes it even harder for her.  I remember Chris' grandfather once saying that 'in his day' they'd have gotten a swat for such behaviour?  I said to him "why would I hit her because she's not pleased you are her :shock:?  That makes no sense at all.  She's entitled to feel anyway she wants, she simply needs my help finding the best way to work through it and express it"  spank her??  whatever!

Bianca, I've also had friends (good friends and not trying to be mean) give me a Dr. Phil "how's that working for ya?" comment :roll:  But I stick by my 'marionettes' comment.

Richelle I too would be very sad about loosing so much in the hurricane.  It makes so much sense... I'm just thinking of the future - I can see Sophie at 25, out on her own shopping for the perfect decoration for mom for Christmas because her and mom ALWAYS picked out a new decoration every year!!

And Micky OMG I can't believe that woman said that to you. 

Nikki you are so right that it takes so much more energy to be creative but it totally pays off doesn't it?  How totally happy Nathan must have been to make a suggestion, like the park, and hear mom say "sure"  WOW!!  Sometimes it hits me that this is THEIR life, their whole life and how sad if most of it is filled up with 'no, later, stop that, would you just, shhhhh'

Ok I better scoot - haven't got through all the pages yet but two babies on the floor and Zoe is sitting them up, lying the down (not so gently as they'd like), picking them up and moving them  OY!!!!  They aren't liking it so much "oh mom I stepped on her toe on an accident"

[Arwyn's mom]

Happy birthday, Micky! Poo on the lady with the comment.  :evil:  Whose business is it what you feed Jackson? -- Yours and yours only. Now, I would understand if you were trying to give him beer to wash down his hot wings but other than that?  :wink:

Richelle... that is a gorgeous tree. I love it and I love the ornament a year idea.

Beautiful family pictures Judy and Bianca!

Jody... boo hoo on the flu! Only good thing is the girls are sleeping and getting the rest they need to recover and letting you rest too!

Nikki... I have the same problem with my own mother and her comments around food and clothing. She insists that Arwyn is freezing her little a$$ off, no matter what I have her in and she nags and nags and nags, non-stop about it and even phones me to continue the nagging after she has left from her visit. :roll: The other is about food... she thinks Arwyn can eat anything, including traditional Chinese medicine.  :evil: I know she has Arwyn's best interest at heart but I have to bite my tongue all the time and defend what I am doing. I do have it out with her sometimes when it goes on too long... I use lots of "I, we, me" statements such as "I have been doing a lot of reading...", "I've come across research that..." "I believe in..." and it helps but then my mother has a short memory  :roll: and she starts up again. She has commented before, "You forget who raised you." to which I replied, "And you did a great job, Mom... I hope I can raise Arwyn just as well." 

Naomi... Did get your card. Looking forward to a posted picture!

Erin... Got your card too... now I know what all the "blue eye" comments were about! WOW!

My mom thinks it is fun that I have meet all these people online. She thinks it is kinda strange and dangerous too, but she loved looking at all the pictures and figures it is okay because we are all moms of babies!

[albertasweetpea]

Hey again all!!

Just had to post these pics of Molly. One I took yesterday and one today. She is 8 months old today, sniff...sniff... :cry: where has the time gone??

BTW...somehow managed to lose 1.4 lbs this week?? Eating Christmas baking AND PMS'ing...dunno how that happened? :shock:  Am now down 12 lbs in total!! Yaaaaaaaaay!!   :lol:

Jody, I've seen your pic (most recent one of you and Sharon at WEM) and as if you need to join WW, you are a total hottie!!      You're young too, it comes off so much easier when you're younger. 

[mickymuscles]

hi girls!

I gotta go back and read what you all were talking about with the canned responses!!  If I had some on memory I could have given a doozy of a line to that lady!  :wink: And they can always be useful for the parents or IL's.

[sophieandhannah]

Congrats Michelle on the weight loss...can I have a copy of your diet?? (Hmm...something like 2 turtle brownies before chat...) :wink:   
Gorgeous pics of Molly!  She is precious.  I love your captions too...isn't it funny that we, a bunch of 30 somthings (more or less) say stuff like "chilling"?  We are just like soooo cool   :lol:

Micky glad you made it in one piece and I absolutely agree with what everyone else said about that lady's comment!  Keep your thoughts to yourself lady!

I once heard an interview on NPR (pre Sophie so I was more interested on a theoretical level and didn't pay close attn. to the author) with a mother who wrote a book about all of the unsolicited comments she had recieved from strangers about her children.  It sounded really good.

Maybe when Sophie is 2.5 years old or so I'll make her sit quietly on the floor at the bookstore fr 5 minutes while I try to find it (That was for you Nikki.)

I have been laughing to myself about Kate's mass- murderer/trying to steal Ryan comment..because a while back I had a thought about the "safety" of this site and I was going to say something even though I thought it was pretty silly...but I chose not to because I thought it would sound too creepy...like I was the mass murderer trying to steal Ryan (and all the others)

Gotta go...baby awake. 

Hannah

[solnme]

It's me! It's me!
As soon as I started reading (from page 90) i realized how much I've missed you ladies. 

Micky - Happy B-Day!  Way to go with the travelling!  What a kool kat Jack is.

Now about those comments Micky/Richelle/Ankie - My family is all from the Caribbean and Richelle nailed it, everyone is very free with advice and opinions.  My Mom is great but I get emails from my aunts and cousins giving me advice and criticizing when they don't even know what I'm doing.  When I mention that fact they say "We know you"   :evil:

Nikki / Judy - I really enjoy your dialoges about family, parenting and guidance.  I'm trying to keep it all in my head so I'll have it to fall back on.  My Mom's friend was over with her the other day and she kept telling Sol "no, don't touch the VCR, don't pull that, don't pull this"  I was in shock and didn't know what to say, thinking how the he!! am I gonna handle this one.  I almost fell off my chair when my Mom told her to knock it off!  She said," Roz doesn't waste her time telling Sol no over trivial things.  If he wants to explore the house and it isn't dangerous, she lets him"  I almost cried I loved her so much at that moment.

The IL's are a different story.  Since we're spending Xmas with my family (which we do every year) I guess they are a little hurt.  I cooked dinner for them the other night and was overwhelmed with all the back-handed comments about how Sol must like my family so much since he sees them all the time, and how important grandparents are during the holidays. :twisted: Then they brought out the camera and took a bunch of pictures of just DH and Sol. :twisted:  :twisted: Then sent the pictures to us this morning addressed to Ken (DH):roll:
I agree with Judy that it's so not worth getting myself worked up over it anymore.  Especially when I can come on line and vent.  Thanks

Bianca - beautiful family!  You all are glowing in that picture.

Bec/Kate - I think its wondrful that you have 'other' kids. 

Got lots of cards!  Thank you Traci, Naomi, Erin, Holly, Bec, and Macaire. Loved the family shot Macaire!  It's great to match the Moms with the babes.

I was going to say more but can't remember. Guess I'll just have to come back...

Oh yeah... The last 7 days we've had tons of night wakings!  I started out standing beside the crib for 30 mins. Next night at the door for 30, 3rd night outside the door for 20 and the last 2 nights I've only had to stand outside  for 5 mins.  Lets hope it lasts while we are at the families.